Disclaimer. I don’t own them I only wish I did

A/N They’re not witches.

Paige: 15
Phoebe: 18
Prue: 22

I miss you Piper. I miss your smile, your hugs and the way you used to talk. I miss your brown eyes and the amusement you held for Phoebe and I when we’d wake up on Christmas morning, excited and squealing, still young enough to believe in Santa.

I miss the way you were always there for me. When I was learning to ride my bike without trainer wheels you were helping me get my balance. On my first day of school it was you giving me a hug and soothing my nerves. When my first crush didn’t like me you were there to cheer me up and to tell me that all men are pigs.

I miss your comforting. I miss the way you used to rock me back and forth, waiting until my tears had subsided to ask me in your sweet, gentle voice, “What’s wrong Paigey-Girl? You’re ok now. I’m here.” I miss the way you could always make me feel better, could make me smile in an instant. I need you now. I need to be comforted by the person I’m crying over.

I hate how you were never found. I hate the way we don’t know what happened to you. Angry tears fill my eyes every time I think about what the police did or didn’t do to help.

It’s been three years to the month since you disappeared. Three years used to sound like such a long time but I’ve discovered it isn’t. Though I was only twelve at the time I remember it like it was yesterday…

~ Flashback ~

The phone rang. Phoebe and I both glanced at it hoping Prue would get it, neither of us wanting to leave the TV. It rang again impatiently.
“Would someone get that?” Prue yelled from upstairs. No such luck.

Phoebe got up to answer it and I turned back to the TV, only half listening to the conversation.
“Hello, Halliwell residence?” There was a pause. “What?” I heard Phoebe gasp. “But… I definitely saw her…” I glanced up, wondering what was going on. “She didn’t? But… What?” The colour was draining from Phoebe’s face. I listened more attentively, half fearful now. “Yes… Ok… We will. Thank you for calling. Bye.” Phoebe put the phone down and turned to me. “Piper’s missing.”

~ End flashback ~

I remember the next few weeks were frantic. We searched for you non-stop, we rang the police incessantly to see if they had found anything more about you and we even put up posters as if you were a pet dog, asking for anyone with information to contact us. A few people rang to say they had seen you in the park but no one had seen you any closer to school than that.

As time went on we began to lose faith that you were alive and well somewhere but unable to return home. When months had passed we were forced to give up hope altogether.

We all coped in different ways. Prue went out a lot, burying herself in work and friends and activities, trying to forget. You could find Phoebe in her room reading more often than not, as though trying to escape into a fantasy world where missing sisters didn’t exist. I was so mad at them for it. It was like they didn’t want to remember you, to pretend you’d never existed. I wanted to remember every single tiny detail. I wanted to remember the way you tied your shoes and the way you ate your cereal. I spent a lot of time in my room staring at your picture and thinking.

It occurred to me that as we changed we were fading away into shadows of what we once were. We were all completely different to how we had been before that day. We didn’t realise it while we had you but we all needed you. Phoebe and I needed you to be our big sister and the mediator between us. Prue needed you to talk about things she said we ‘wouldn’t understand’. But on top of that, you and I had a special bond. We talk for hours together. You’d tell me about high school and your friends and which guys you liked. I’d tell you about school projects, playground fight and our least favourite teachers.

It not that I didn’t love Prue and Phoebe because I did love them very much. But I had a special relationship with you. There was too much of an age gap with Prue, seven years, and Phoebe and I got on each other’s nerves all the time and still do.

I suppose what I miss most about you isn’t the small things like the way you did your hair or the clothes you wore. It the feeling of warmth that washed over me every time you were near me. It’s the way you always showed me you loved me, with glances or cuddles or games. It’s the way you treated me, never like an idiot or the kid sister you had to put up with.

It was love you held for me, pure and simple, and I loved you back with all my heart. I always will Piper, even though I’ve moved on with my life now.

You always were and always will be the big sister I looked up to and adored without question and I will always remember you with a smile. I’ll always wonder about you but that’s the way of life. It comes, it’s stays a while and then it leaves without warning. I’ll always miss you and I’ll always love you and your memory is and forever will be close to my heart.