Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this story, those belong to the WB. I do however, own the story and it should not be recreated without my permission. Thanks.

Music Disclaimer: I do not own any of the lyrics used in this story, those belong to their respective artists and writers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for I
You know that if we are to stay alive
Then see the peace in every eye...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Cole honey wake up,” Phoebe gently shook her husband awake beside her. Cole groaned as he rolled over to face her, his eyes fluttering open to meet the soft smile on his wife. Her brown eyes glowed big in the soft light from the open window behind her.

“Morning Sunshine,” he said with a smile as he slid his hand around her waist. She smiled and moved closer to him. He loved her so much, he thought as he laid there and stared at her beautiful face watching him. His lips itched for her and he leaned forward, brushing them teasingly against her neck. She laughed, her easy giggle and pulled playfully away from him but his strong arms pulled her back in and his lips locked with hers, this time in a passionate kiss. When they pulled away she bit her lip and smiled at him, her fingers running up and down his chest.

“Have you thought about what we talked about?” she asked soflty. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Phoebe you’re ruining a perfectly good moment here,” he said, a little frustrated as he sat up.

“Cole I refuse to let you worm your way out of this discussion,” Phoebe said sternly, “I am twenty six years old and I refuse to wait much longer for an answer. You’ve been putting it off for months.”

“Phoebe please don’t do this now,” Cole begged, “I have a case to get ready for.”

“Well I have a life to live Cole,” Phoebe snapped, “and I want children in that life. I feel so useless, sitting here while you go off to work. What kind of housewife has no kids?”

“Then get a job,” Cole said, “or get a cat.”

“A cat,” Phoebe scoweled, “yeah that’ll do wonders for the relationship.”

“What do you want me to say Phoebe?” Cole asked.

“I want you to say you’ll talk about it. I don’t understand what you’re so afraid of,” Phoebe shot.

“I’m not afraid of anything,” Cole hissed, “I have to take a shower.”

Phoebe groweled lowly as she got up and pulled her robe tightly around her body. Without another word she left the room and marched downstairs. She walked straight to the kitchen of their large apartment and picked up the phone. Her fingers moved easily over the buttons and she waited for the farmiliar voice to pick up the phone.

“Hello?” Piper’s light voice met Phoebe’s ears and she instantly relaxed.

“Piper?”

“Hey Pheebs,” you could almost hear Piper’s smile through the phone, “how are you doing?”

“Fine,” Phoebe said, then she paused, “well that’s a lie. Cole and I had a fight again.”

“He still won’t talk about it huh?” Piper sympathized.

“No, he just shuts down when I bring it up,” Phoebe sighed, “I want a baby Piper. I’m ready to be a mom. I see you holding Melinda and the way she looks at you, and I want that too.”

“I know you do Phoebe,” Piper replied, “just keep talking to him. I’m sure he’s just scared. I mean, he was a demon, maybe he thinks he’ll be a bad father.”

“I guess that could be it,” Phoebe agreed, “I wish Grams was here.”

“Grams?” Piper laughed slighly, “I might have expected Mom or Prue, but not Grams.”

Phoebe chuckled too, “Remember the stories Grams used to tell us about Grandpa and how he was after the war?”

“Yeah, what about them?” Piper asked curiously.

“Well I just remember how her eyes would glow when she talked about him. She never got over losing him, even through all those other men. But she used to talk about how difficult it was to love him because he couldn’t talk about all the things he’d seen in the war because she wouldn’t understand? Well that’s how I feel about Cole sometimes, he can’t talk about the things he did when he was a demon and I think it closes a part of him off to me. Maybe the part of him that is scared about being a dad.”

“Sounds very logical to me,” Piper replied, “I wish I had some answers for you Pheebs.” Phoebe heard a cry erupt in the background, “Oh man, Melinda just spilled her juice all over. I got to go Phoebe. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Phoebe said with a smile, picturing her two year old neice’s goofy smile at the mess she’d made. The thought made Phoebe ache inside, “I’ll talk to you later.”

“I love you,” Piper said absently and Phoebe could tell she was already reaching for a rag. Phoebe smiled.

“Love you too.”

Phoebe set the phone down and walked toward the refridgerator. She pulled out the box of waffles and stuck four in the toaster. She leaned against the counter as she waited, watching out the window at the children playing tag on the street out in front of the building, their laughter coaxing her into a wishful trance.

“Phoebe?”

Phoebe whirled around and her jaw dropped, “Grams!”

“Hello darling,” Grams smiled, “you called?”

“I wished...” Phoebe muttered, in shock.

“Well today wishes come true,” Grams smiled, “you wanted to hear stories but as a witch you were gifted with the power of sight so instead I’ll show you.”

Grams pulled a stumbling Phoebe into the living room and laid her grandaughter on the couch. Phoebe watched as Grams laid a gentle hand over her head and shut her eyes. Phoebe watched as Grams’s lips moved and finally they stopped.

“I love you darling,” Grams whispered as she faded out. Phoebe opened her mouth to respond but suddenly images invaded her mind. They weren’t like a preminition, more like a dream. Phoebe felt her body succumb to the emotions as she was sucked into the vision.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She had two babies, one was six months, one was three
In the war of '44...
Every telephone ring, every heartbeat stinging
When she thought it was God calling her
Oh, would her son grow to know his father?

I don't want to to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now what will it be
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be...sorry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Patricia Irene Halliwell you unfreeze that plate right now do you understand me?” Penny demanded as her three year old daughter stared at her, a bewildered expression on her innocent face.

Patty did what she was told and waved her hands, sending the plate crashing down to the floor. Penny sighed and picked up her daughter, setting her on the counter, facing her, “No powers from now on understand? This will be the last time I tell you Patty.”

“Yes mama,” Patty nodded as she reached out a chubby hand and touched Penny’s cheek, “no pobers.” Penny shook her head at her daughter’s mispronunciation and laughed. Patty smiled when she saw her mother laugh, a rare sight since her papa had left.

“Daddy home now?” Patty asked. That question immedietly wiped the smile off her mother’s face and she set her daughter back on the ground.

“Patty you go check on your brother for me,” Penny instructed as her lips pulled into a tight frown. Patty sighed and jogged off into the living room to find her baby brother.

Penny leaned heavily against the sink, biting back the tears that stung behind her eyes. She was aroused when her dog barked from the front door, the mailman was there. Penny rushed to the door and picked up the letters. She shuffled through them slowly, a dull but deep fear pounding in her heart and in her throat. She sighed in relief when she saw there was no army seal on any of them. Her Alexander had been gone for almost a year, off at the war. She missed him so much it hurt to talk about him, and every night she cried for him in her empty bed after her babies had fallen asleep.

“Mama Michael is eating the candle,” Patty reported as she walked back into the kitchen. Penny sighed and followed her daughter off toward the living room.

She immedietly pulled the wax from her six month old son’s mouth and pulled him up and into her arms. He smiled when he saw her, his blue eyes glowing so much like his father’s. Penny sighed and put her head gently on her son’s head, guiding it toward her shoulder and swaying him back and forth. Patty watched patiently from beside her.

“Me dance too mama?” Patty asked, she remembered nights when her father was there and he would play his guitar while her mother danced with a newborn Michael in her arms while Patty sang.

“No, not today,” Penny said, and she stopped swaying, “I’m just trying to get him to sleep. You go play with your rag doll I made you. Then we’ll have supper okay?”

“Yes mama,” Patty said as she walked out of the room. Penny noticed her daugther’s dragged step and stooping, tired shoulders. She was so young, but knew so much about life already.

Penny sighed as she sunk onto the chair, Michael cradeled in her arms. His head was nestled between her chest and her arm and his blue eyes fluttered closed. Penny stared down at her sleeping son as thoughts flew through her mind. Whether Michael would ever get to play catch with his father, whether they would all ever get to dance again...whether he would even come home alive....and if he was alive, would he be the same?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He showed up all wet on the rainy front step
Wearing shrapnel in his skin
And the war he saw lives inside him still,
It's so hard to be gentle and warm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A knock on the door brought Penny out of her slumber that night. She slipped her feet in her slippers and pulled on a robe as she hurried down the old steps of the manor. She prayed against hope that there was not an army representative on her doorstep. Penny’s soul pounded in her chest and she was dizzy with fear as she opened the handle. But instead of an army represnetative she was met with the cold face of her husband. He stood, staring at her, his lips curved and his hair wet from the rain that cascaded down gently around him. She noticed he had a bulk on his right shoulder.

“Alex?” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears of disbelief.

“I’m home,” Alex announced with a stiff voice. She stepped forward, throwing her arms around him. He groaned and back away and she immedietly backed away too.

“I’m sorry, are you hurt?” she asked gently.

“Just let me in the damn house,” he said, “it’s freezing.”

“Of course,” Penny stepped back and Alex walked in, pulling off his coat to reveal a wrapping around his right shoudler. Penny touched it gently and he pulled away, “does it hurt?”

“I’m alive aren’t I?” Alex snapped, “better than most.”

“I’m glad you’re home,” Penny said softly as she watched this foreign man look at her. She knew then, he was not the man she’d loved. He was different, things were different. He had seen the horror she’d dreamed about and he’d survived it.

“I’m glad too,” he agreed.

And when she looked at his face, she saw he was crying. Then he reached forward and pulled her close to him. She sighed in relief, leaning heavily against him as tears overcome her and ran down her face and onto his shoulder where she rested her chin, digging her face deep into his neck and smelling him. They clung to each other with a desperateness that they’d never experienced before. And for once he was her Alex again, the same strong, sensitive man that she’d fell in love with, the same one that had held her children after they were born. The same one that he’d always be deep inside, under the layers of the death he’d seen.

“Come on let’s get you to bed,” she whispered, and she took his hand, leading him up the stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The years pass by
And now he has granddaughters
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alex!” Penny smiled when her husband walked into the bedroom where the family was huddeled around the newest Halliwell arrival. Penny watched as Victor stuck out his hand, Alex politely shook it and then took a chair near the door.

“Dad, it’s great to see you,” Patty smiled from the bed, sweat still beaded her face, but her glow of pride overshadowed it all. “Can you believe this one couldn’t even wait until the hospital. She’s going to be trouble, I can tell.”

Penny watched as her husband politely nodded, but his eyes stayed unfocused and glassy. She wondered what he was thinking, as she’d been finding herself doing ever since he got back from the war and especially since he’d been diagnosed with heart disease. He only had a few months left, and Penny was glad that he at least got to see his third grandaugther born.

“Papa want to hold her?” four year old Prue asked as she smiled at her grandfather. Alex shook his head, his grim frown didn’t budge.

“Baby,” two year old Piper said as she toddeled over to her grandfather and tapped his leg. Penny winced as he withdrew hard from her touch. Piper was startled at first until Victor picked her up.

“Grandpa is tired remember?” Victor lectured, “let him watch okay?”

“What..um...what’s her name?” Alex’s voice startled everyone. Patty smiled as she moved her arms so her father could get a good look at the baby in her arms.

“Phoebe dad, I named her Phoebe,” Patty replied.

Penny thought she could see Alex’s lips tug at a smile, but she couldn’t be sure. She sighed when he got up and left. Patty sent her mother a helpless look and Penny just shrugged sadly as she watched her husband shut the door, retreating inside himself as he always had. Penny knew that the man walking away wasn’t the same man she loved, the one she’d married. But he was her husband all the same, and she accepted that he’d seen a lot. War changes people, but Penny had never asked for her life to be changed. And that, she thought, was why life wasn’t fair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You look at me from across the room
You're wearing your anguish again
Believe me I know the feeling
It sucks you into the jaws of anger
So breathe a little more deeply my love
All we have is this very moment
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Penny?” his voice was quiet and raspy but it woke her immedietly and she rushed to his side. She slipped her hand into his, trying not to displace the tubes running around him.

“What’s wrong honey?” she asked.

“I’m dying,” he stated blandly.

“Alex please,” Penny begged, “don’t talk like that.”

“I fought in the war for a year. I watched men die all around me, young men with whole lives ahead of them. I watched them run, crying and screaming in anguish around me and getting shot. I watched them fall to the ground, bleeding for their country and for their rights. And here I am, all this time later, and I’m going to die in a damn hospital bed,” he scoffed.

“Alex you fought in that war and you survived, you earned a peaceful death,” Penny soothed.

“I can never be at peace after what I saw and what I felt in that war. Penny I hope you know that I know how different I am. I never wanted this to happen to us,” Alex sighed as he squeezed his wife’s hand, she had tears running down her face, “I never wanted us to grow apart. It was just so hard to watch you, I had all this anger at everyone. I’m so sorry Penny.”

“Oh Alex,” Penny whispered, “I forgave you a long time ago. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Alex smiled then, “tell the family I love them. Keep an eye on those grandkids of ours. Especially little Phoebe. She’s barely six months old and already she has our family in chaos.”

Penny smiled at that and nodded, “I’ll tell them.”

“And Penny.....”

“Yes sweetie?”

“Move on with your life when I’m gone. Find love again, find what I could never give you when I came back,” Alex urged, “do you promise me?”

“I promise,” Penny sighed and then she laid her head on her husband’s chest while he took his last breath.

Penny cried when he was gone. Tears of sadness, but more tears of relief. He was finally at peace, it was finally over. He’d been out of the war for years, but he’d always been fighting a battle inside himself. Now he’d finally won.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I don't want to do what his father,
And his father, and his father did,
I want to be here now
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Phoebe” Cole’s voice tugged at Phoebe’s conciousness and she pulled herself back into reality. Her eyes opened and she looked at him groggily, “Phoebe?”

“Y..yeah what?” she replied, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

“What are you doing down here?”

“I must have fallen asleep,” Phoebe lied.

“You look kind of pale, are you feeling okay?” Cole asked, gently putting his hand against her forehead. Phoebe shook it off.

“I’m fine,” she said, a bit too harsly. Cole winced and sighed.

“Look Phoebe, about this morning....”

“Cole I don’t see what you’re so damn scared of,” Phoebe blurted, “I know you were a demon and maybe that somehow makes you think you can’t be a good father but you can! I love you Cole, and there are reasons I love you. The same reasons that would make you a wonderful daddy.”

Cole was a little stunned at his wife’s outburst and even more shocked when she burst into tears. Cole pulled her close and she laid her head on his shoulder, cuddling close to him. He could feel her hot tears sliding down his neck. He sighed, he knew how much this meant to her. And she was right, he was scared.

“I don’t want to fail you Phoebe,” Cole whispered. Phoebe shook her head as she pulled away from him.

“Cole I’m scared too,” Phoebe assured, “we’ll be scared together. You could never fail me Cole Turner, as long as you love our baby as much as you love me.”

“You’re scared too?” Cole asked hesitantly. Phoebe laughed lightly as she nodded.

“Terrified,” Phoebe said, “I’ve never been a mom before either Cole. But we can figure it out together.”

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Cole asked sensitively, “I mean after Prue and everything....”

“I’m ready,” Phoebe affirmed, “Prue taught me what it means to be a mom. I know she’ll look out for our baby from up there.”

“You really think I can do this?” Cole asked, but his face was caught up in a anxious smile.

“I think WE can do this,” Phoebe replied.

“Then I’m ready to give it a shot,” Cole said. Phoebe’s face lit up instantly and she threw herself happily into her husband’s arms.

“Really?” she squeeled, “you’re ready to try?”

“Yes,” Cole smiled, “I don’t want to be scared anymore. Let’s have a baby.”

“So do you...um...wanna have a practice round,” Phoebe teased seductively as she leaned in and brushed her lips against his neck. He smiled as he lifted her into his arms.

“Practice makes perfect,” he smiled and walked toward the stairs, his wife giggling in his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for I
You know that if we are to stay alive,
Then see the love in every eye...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Cole honey wake up,” Phoebe urged, shaking her husband gently. Cole’s eyes opened immedietly and he sat up.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quickly, “Is Marie okay?”

“She’s fine,” Phoebe chuckeled, “she’s right here. Can you hold her while I go to the bathroom.”

“Oh, yeah sure,” Cole replied.

Cole smiled proudly as Phoebe carefully set his newborn daughter in his arms. Phoebe smiled too as she handed him the bottle and left the room. Cole fumbled with the bottle for a minute while Marie gurgled unhappily in is arms. Finally he slipped the nipple in her mouth and had to smile while his little girl sucked happily at the formula. Her brown eyes stared up at him, so much like Phoebe’s. But there was something different in them too, a different light. His daughter’s own spirit, her own personality was reflectedin those eyes that stared up at him, so trusting and innocent. Cole was filled with a deep urge to hold her forever and never let go. He knew he’d die to protect her. But for now he just watched her, a little person, one he’d helped make and smiled down at her.

“So...whatcha think daddy?” Phoebe asked soflty from the doorway, she was watching her husband intently feed their daugther.

“She’s beautiful,” Cole smiled.

Phoebe nodded and whispered, “She’s ours.”