Disclaimer: I don’t own them. They belong to the WB


LOOSING PHOEBE –

She pressed her face against the frozen window and stared out at the snow, at the freedom. Her blanket draped over her shoulders and strands of her limp, threadlike hair hung in small clumps. She was getting thinner now…thinner and sicker. The cold days would make her body groan and ache. The hot ones would make her lifeless and her tired. Her slender frame was eventually disappearing.

She thought back to that morning. He had told her that it was for sure, her time was up and she was coming to the final ending of her life. The devastation had hit her sisters rock hard in the gut, but to her, it had been no surprise. She could feet herself dissolving.

She fingered the lacy pattern that covered her pillow. Finally she felt the courage. She felt the strength and the power. She got to her feet and stumbled out her door. She leant against the wall near her sisters room, daring herself to enter. She pushed on, twisting the doorknob, shuffling on her feet.

‘Prue?’ Her voice was weak and tedious and she looked paler and ghostly in the dim light that lit her room. ‘We’ll get through this…’
The elder sister, once so strong now looked defeated.
She was at her desk, her head in her hands, her dark hair hanging like a curtain for her face. Phoebe couldn’t see in, but she knew Prue was desperately trying to avoid spilling any tears.
She made her way beside her sister and rested her hand on the back of her neck.
‘But sooner or later something’s gonna snap.’ Phoebe whispered. ‘You blame yourself and I don’t know why. There’s no REASON why I got cancer, things just happen. We can’t control it. Maybe you thing you can protect me from the world, but there was nothing you could have done…’
‘It should be me. You’ve done nothing to deserve this. And I…’
‘Either have you. Don’t be angry or guilty. Don’t be regretful or helpless. Just be sad if you lose a sister, but be happy too, because of what you had with me.’
Prue’s shoulders shook as heavy sobs escaped her lips. She let Phoebe stroke her hair and rub her back, and when her baby sister was too worn out to make it back to bed, she carried her to her own and covered her like when she was a baby.

The days passed and finally Phoebe had enough energy to get to Pipers room.
Piper was fixated on the TV screen and her eyes were reluctantly pried away when she heard the mere noise as Phoebe shuffled down the hall. She grinned at her baby sister and made room for her on the bed.
‘Hey babe. How you feeling.’
Phoebe sighed and smiled.
‘Ok. How about you?’ Piper looked away and fiddled with her ring. ‘Not so good huh?’
The middle sister shook her head.
‘I’m fine.’
‘No you’re not. Come here…’
Piper sniggled into the arms held out by her sister.
‘So, what’s up?’
‘Nothing.’
‘PIPER! I may be sick, but my brain’s still working.’
‘Pheebs…its not like that.’
‘Just tell me what’s up. You used to tell me everything.’
‘I’m just preparing.’
‘For what?’
‘When you-’
‘Die?’
Phoebe felt Piper nod.
‘I know that this is really hard for you. And I know that…you’re scared of all these things that are gonna change. But Pipe, you can still tell me stuff. Like mum and Grams. We’ll all be in your heart.’
‘It’s not that same.’
‘Nah, it isn’t, but it’s something.’
‘It’s not enough.’
Phoebe held Piper’s hand and traced her fingers along her palm.
‘Eventually everything comes to an end…movies, songs, books…and life. Babe you just have to accept it. Remember the good times we had. Remember bad times. Capture every moment you can. But in doing that, in accepting, you have to be able to let go.’
Piper cried. She let her tears flow freely and wept loudly on Phoebe’s shoulder.

*~*~

It was a restless night. Phoebe was ill and spent a lot of time with her head hanging over the toilet bowl. The blood and bile would cascade down her lips and chin while her sisters took turns of trying to calm her down.

He paramedics came and delivered her at the palliative care unit, a final place for the final end. There she would be comfortable and safe. On the first few days, she would occasionally sit up and talk but finally after an exhausting 1 and a-half weeks, her fragile body gave in and allowed her some well-earned sleep. Her slumber grew thicker and coma-like. The morphine kicked in, her organs began to shut down. Her breathing was short and infrequent. Her pulse was slowing down and her heart was coming to a stop.

Piper and Prue rested in the chairs beside the bed. They were unaware and uninterested in their surrounding. They were both tired and emotional. They were used to the raggedy old sounding gasps of air and as the last breath draws out and expires, they get up and hold their precious baby sister.

‘Phoebe, Phoebe Baby. I love you…always and forever’
Prue whispers gently.
‘Always and forever…’ Piper echos

-END-