Disclaimer: I don’t own them. They belong to the WB




Losing Phoebe

-LOST-

‘Phoebe, are you even listening to me?’
‘What?’ She sounded annoyed. Her mind was on one thing and one thing only.
‘You didn’t hear a word I just said, did you?’ She sounded hopeless. Her mind was one hundred things and they were all staring to crumble.
‘We want to help you! You need us! We’re your sisters!’ Piper’s turn to try.
‘You want to help me? NOW you want to help me? Where the hell were you when I WANTED your help?’ She spat the words in their general direction then hurried towards and out of the door. She slammed it behind her. The whole house seemed to wobble, whether it be with emotion, tension or plainly the heaviness of the loud bang that had just occurred.

(Hey little sister I heard you went to Mr. So and So,) (knocking on his door)
(again last night, said you needed it bad -)
(you know that ain't right,)
(Cause you've come to me crying)
(trying to stop, you said it hurts so bad)
(But please don't let you)
(go back for more)

She scanned the streets, the thoughts building up inside her head. She needed an escape. She needed a release. She went to the only thing she now knew. Everything else had somehow been taken by a simple obsession.
He knew right away what she needed, but nothing comes without it’s price. She knelt on her knees and opened her mouth while he stood tall and proud as he opened his pants. When she was done, he handed her what she wanted and she took it with a small sense of liberation. This needle, her sisters would call it poison, but that it wasn’t, not to her. She was just flowing with the rest. She was living the way she knew best. Masking all that would pry it’s eyes to pain and destruction.

(My little sister is a Zombie in a body)
(with no soul a role she has learned to play)
(in a world today where nothing else matters)
(But it matters, we gotta start feeding our souls)

She was free. She was alive. She was no long burdened or a burden to anyone else. She was uninvolved; no strings would hold her back. There was no one to dictate, no one to puppeteer.

(Not our addictions or afflictions of pain)
(to avoid the same questions we must)
(ask ourselves to get any answers)
(We gotta start feeding our souls)
(have been lost to the millions with lots)
(who feed on addiction selling pills and what's hot)

It was starting to wear off. Along with the sun, she was fading. Guilt rushed in. Prue. Have to get home – need Prue - need Piper – need to fill up – empty inside. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! She ran, all the way, stumbling and mumbling to herself as she went.

(I wish I could save her from all their delusions)
(all the confusion)

‘Phoebe where have you been?’ She heard the farmilair voice as she rounded the corner and came tumbling awkwardly towards her two elder sisters.
‘I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!’ Her lungs filled with air as she let out a cold angry scream. ‘I hate me! I didn’t mean-’
‘STOP!’ Her sister cut her off and tried desperately to call her back to the ‘real world,’ but she did not want to come. ‘Phoebe, Phoebe, please! I want to save you!’ Prue was yelling, trying to make her hear. Her throat felt small and distant. She had forgotten what it was like to feel such a pain.

(of a nation that starves for salvation)
(but clothing is the cloest approximation)
(to God and He only knows that drugs)
(are all we know of love)
(Every day we starve while we eat white bread)
(and beer instead of a handshake or hug)
(We spill the pills and sweep them)
(under the rug)

Phoebe held out her arms and was held inside an embrace like a small child. She swayed with her sister and cried, until it was over and it would start again, probably tomorrow. She said it was like a monster eating her flesh. It was such a hole, such a horrible black hole. Phoebe – the undead.

(My little sister is a Zombie in a body)
(with no sould a role whe has learned to play)
(in a world today where nothing else matters)
(but it matters, we gotta start feeding our souls)
(Hey little sister I heard you went to Mr. So and So's)
(Knockin' on his door again last night)
(Said you needed more)