Disclaimer: The Charmed Characters are the property of Aaron Spelling and Constance Burge. I just borrow them for your enjoyment and my writing addiction.


Missing scene from Used Karma
one thing that took over my mind as Phoebe walked off in the rain two weeks ago
And if you have not seen this episode yet..a lil spoiler in here so read at your own risk.


















The rain pelted down around her. But she walked on. Her mind felt like there was nothing going on. But it kept repeating over and over events of the last few days. Words spoken secrets hiding. But it was still the same. He was gone.

She had no idea how long she had been walking. The falling rain was in the distance to her though it pounded hard.

Her tears mixed with the rain flowing down her face. Though she made no effort to wipe either away.

How had it come to this? She had sat with him for what seemed like a million times, to tell him, but then something came up. A page from her sisters, Paige was coming to get her for a vanquish. She would excuse herself and then go a fight a demon. She closed her eyes at the memories of the chances she had.

I should have just told him the first time. With the forest nymphs. Or was that too soon? Everything had an excuse attached to it. Why didn’t I just tell him?

She couldn’t even feel the cold and wetness of the rain seeping through her raincoat. She had been wondering for hours. But to her it was minutes since she left him standing at the doors to the hotel. She looked up, but the stars that were usually there gave her no comfort. Hidden behind a blanket of clouds. The rain pelting on her face, she wanted to just stop then. But she kept going, into the night wandering.

She looked out over the cliffs she remembered as a child. Laughter in a park full of children as she took in the lights of the bridge before her. She didn’t even know why she was there. She was wandering. Nothing held meaning to her, just the escape of her heart. But so far she hadn’t managed that.

Memories flowed, bad into happy times, together. The night of the awards banquet when she was named columnist of the year. Long walks in the parks, Hong Kong. She smiled and cried with each one. But then one came from a place she thought long since buried.


“Uh, I'm not sure. So, you didn't see Andy?” Prue asked looking up to her little sister
“No, I said I didn't talk to Andy. I saw him in the parking lot when I left. But, he had that look, Prue. You know the one I'm talking about. You might recognize it from the mirror." Phoebe emphasized to her older sister. "He really cares about you” Phoebe eyed Prue hoping her unspoken message would get through
“Yeah, don't you think I know that” Prue shot back a little harsher then she wanted. But the look she gave to her sister made up for the tone in her voice.
“So what are you waiting for? Tell him the truth. It's the only thing that's standing between you guys” To Phoebe it was the only answer. No secrets.

Prue looked at her little sister as if she was nuts. But in there she saw the wisdom of her words, “Tell him I'm a witch? I can't do that. What if he can't handle it? It's not like I can put the genie back in the bottle”

Phoebe sighed, “He's not going to turn you into the warlock police. At least you'd know how he feels once and for all. Otherwise, you'll never know if it could of worked out or not. If I were you, I'd figure out how to tell him. Thank you for the laptop.” She turned and left the office leaving Prue to think on her words. Just tell him the truth. As simple as that.

The memory of her telling Prue to just tell Andy the truth. It was her. Only not. But the idea was the same.

“Why didn’t I take my own advise?” she scolded herself. As she felt herself sinking into the park bench. The wetness of the bench went unnoticed to her as she looked out over the water.
“Sure tell Prue what to do with Andy but you can’t get the courage to tell Jason. Good one Phoebe.”

The rain came down harder as she sat there letting it pound into her, rain around her soaking her.

She thought of her sisters. Closing her eyes she wanted Piper to just tell her it would be ok. Everything would work out. She wanted Paige to tell her I told you so.

She had lost her heart in one moment. When he looked at her at the manor stunned at her revelation. Stunned at who she really was. As the car screeched away she knew she had lost him.

But as her mind took over again she heard that one conversation with her and Prue. And thinking of Prue brought different tears to her eyes. She held her cell phone in her pocket as she then heard the ringing tone.

Looking down at the name of the caller she turned it on as she brushed away a tear. "I was just going to call you.”
“Where are you?” she heard the quiver in her sisters voice. One she knew herself.
“Um.”
“Phoebe? Where are you I’ll come and get you.” She knew her sister was hurting. She had left to go and talk to Jason. And even now she knew it had not gone well.
“Golden Gate Park.” She managed to get out between her sobs. She hadn’t wanted anyone till she heard her sisters’ voice. Everything crashed. Losing Jason was worse then anything she had felt before.

Her mind twisted around what Phoebe had said. Golden gate park. She was no where near the hotel. “I’ll be there in ten minutes sweetie.” Piper hung up the phone as she looked over at Paige. No words were said as she made her way through the Manor and pulled her raincoat around. “Paige can you start some hot chocolate in 15 minutes. I’ll call if we are going to be later.” Piper said as she stepped out into the rain.

Piper pulled the Jeep over and looked past the wipers to her sister. She seemed so small tucking herself in to her coat. Opening the door and pulling her own coat around her she opened her umbrella and made her way to her sister.

“Phoebs. Come on sweetie lets go home.”
“I…I can’t.” she didn’t move. Confusion rained around her along with the weather itself.

Piper sat down and waited for Phoebe to say anything.

“He was the one.”

Piper looked over at her little sister and let her go on.

“He was the one that I was meant for. I always thought it was Cole. But Prue was right. Once a demon always a demon. He couldn’t let go of over a hundred years of evil. Jason was different. And I let him go. I should have told him Piper.” Once again the tears mixed with the rain as she felt Pipers arm take her in.

“Come on.” Piper stood up and pulled Phoebe with her. Making there way to her jeep she held her arm around Phoebes waist as she felt her baby sisters head resting on her shoulder.

Piper lost track of the times she cast a glance over to her sister. She was soaked and lost in her own world of pain.

Phoebe made her way up the steps into the Manor she didn’t even hear Paige as she started up the stairs to her room. It wasn’t till she reached her door she remembered her room was now Pipers weight room.

But she felt the arm around her waist guiding her further down the hall.

She felt the coat easing off her shoulders as the arm guided her towards the bed. Sitting at first she then felt herself crawling into the warmth of the arms behind her.

“Piper I lost him.” Her heart broke as the tear ran freely. Her body shivered from the cold she had gotten from wandering, but Piper held her close. Giving her warmth and love.

“Its like Prue.” She started but Piper bit back her response wanting to hear what Phoebe was saying. “It’s like as witches we think mortals can’t handle it. But they can. I told her to tell Andy. Why couldn’t I just tell Jason? I had the chances.”
“Phoebe you can’t keep doing that.”
“I did Piper. I could have told him. But Paige was right. I run from problems, from conflict. And now he is gone.”

Piper pulled her arms tighter. Her little sister was still wet and cold from the rain but she knew right then, she needed her. She reached down and pulled her comforter around Phoebe hoping to warm her.

Paige found them that way as she brought in the hot chocolate. Sitting up on Pipers bed the oldest and youngest gave Phoebe the love and support she needed. But as the night drifted on she drifted off to sleep, leaning in against Piper as she had as a child.

“Piper?”
“We just need to be here for her Paige. This was hard. Harder then Cole.” Piper replied as she ran her hand over the top of Phoebe head.

Paige understood what Piper was saying as she snuggled down and placed her arm over her big sister. “I love you Phoebe.”