Disclaimer: I lay no claim to any of the Charmed characters, quotes, or overt references that may appear in my stories. They are the sole property of Spelling Television. I write for my own satisfaction and for the enjoyment of those who choose to read them.

A/N: Ok I must warn you I was in a very introspective mood when I wrote this and you’ll have to bear through the first few paragraphs of thought. It takes place 20 years after Phoebe’s abduction and return. My intent is to satisfy questions left unanswered in the prior chronicles and to gratify my personal obsession with writing.
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Promise Me

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Life can only be understood backwards;
but it must be lived forwards. ~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
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There are songs that can only be learned in the basin of affliction. No art can teach their cadence, no rules of voice can make them perfectly sung... Their music is found only in the heart. They are songs of memory... lyrics of personal experience. They bring out their burden from the shadow of the past as they mount on the wings of yesterday.

The accent of the singer can only be made richer, when the chords of suffering draw the bitterness of the heart to blend with the sweetness of the soul. So don’t let circumstances of life discourage you from singing. Realize that the NIGHT is preparing the song, the VALLEY is tuning your voice, the CLOUD is deepening your arpeggio, the RAIN is sweetening the melody and the COLD is molding your expression. Don’t despise the school of sorrow, take heart, in due time it will graduate your spirit to join, in part, the universal song of the choir invisible.

All of life is made to sing... to dance... to live. Harsh is often the tutor, Brutal is frequently the course, Unfair is commonly the classroom and Broken is always the student. The score of life is filled with both stinging sharps and tedious flats as the tempo repeatedly changes from prelude to finale. We have to stop and pause, as we reflect at what the Composer was thinking; to take such beauty and crassly scar the face of the aria with such dissonant tones. But the magnum opus is only fully understood when the last note drifts into the loftiness of the cosmos. It is then and only then that we can appreciate the awesomeness of the masterpiece.
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How true it is that life is best understood backwards. The life of the Halliwell women was irrevocably changed in the act of one woman’s greed.

Painful? Yes!

Difficult? No Doubt!

Life altering? Absolutely!

But what we don’t realize is what was prevented. How one deed changed what might have been. How one moment in time sanctioned countless others to be negated. The love of family coping with grief allowed bonds to grow stronger then might otherwise have been.

As Penny saw the trio’s unification rise to levels she never thought imaginable she unbound their powers and spent her remaining years teaching them well their craft. The fusion of trust and love developed into a ferocious loyalty that perfected a faith in one another that proved itself in Prue believing her sister and canceling her engagement to Roger, which stopped Phoebe’s impending flight to NYC. The BOS was a joint discovery and it was a unanimous chant that released their powers. And finally the skill and faith bore its fragrant fruit in the prevention of Tempus taking the life of Andy.

So remember when tragedy, unfairness, betrayal or the like, encompass your surroundings, take hold of the assurance that it is most likely preventing an even greater pain from claiming your center. So live forward with a firm gait, taking courage in yourself, knowing life could be far worse than it is.
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TWENTY YEARS LATER

The atmosphere in the Jeep had been tense, but the open air of the moonlit night did little to lessen its weight. She glared at her sister with such intensity that her sibling had to turn away. The cool breeze of the August mood only fanned the flames of anger that burned at the mist of her breath. She took one last glance at her sister’s dropped head before focusing her attention at the object that blocked their path. Her powers were thrown into overdrive as her emotions overcompensated themselves sending the Manor door inward with such force that the hinges retreated the timber into the solid, oak paneled wall. The loud thud caused Phoebe to shudder, or was it the continued rant and overused expletives angrily hurled in her direction. At this point it didn’t matter the damage had been done. Now she had to face the music of her sister’s wrath.

Piper’s arms were draped around each of her sister’s shoulders as her head hung down with the limpness of her body.

“Come on; let’s get her on the couch. It will free both my hands to wring your neck while I kick your little Wiccan ass into tomorrow.” Prue growled, as she left no time to debate her course of action.

Phoebe obediently kept step with her fuming big sister. Once Piper was prone on the sofa and Leo was yelled for, the starting bell sounded with the first ‘what the hell...’

“Ok Missy, what the hell was that Super Witch stunt you pulled back there? You nearly got yourself killed! How many times have we been over this?” Prue seethed as Phoebe sat stoic in the floral chair she tried her hardest to blend in with.

Prue’s voice droned into a distant hum has Phoebe recalled what led to the tongue-lashing she was now receiving.

It had been a beautiful day and all three sisters had the evening off. So naturally a traditional Sister Night was planned. Piper and Phoebe had been in the kitchen making sure they had all that was needed for the time honored event.

“Movies?”

“Check!”

“Popcorn?”

“Check!”

“Kleenex?”

“Che... Piper we didn’t rent a tearjerker, why do we need tissues?” Phoebe said as she tried to balance everything Piper was piling in her arms.

“Oh WE won’t, but YOU will when YOU tell Prue how YOU ‘conveniently’ forgot to rent Breakfast Club.” Piper smirked as she stood deciding where to place the last of the snacks on the precarious heap Phoebe was trying hard not to drop.

“But Pi...” Phoebe began to dispute, but was stopped when Piper cleverly chose to deposit the bag of Doritos in her protesting sister’s mouth.

“Shush... I’ve heard your excuses before; it ain’t me you have to convince. Now scoot. Prue will be home in an hour and I still have to make the dip.” Piper ordered, but couldn’t help but laugh as she could hear her departing sister trying to convey her displeasure around her stuffed mouth.

The next thing Piper heard was a crash and a cry from her little sister. She rushed into the direction of the youngest Halliwell’s voice, ready to take on whatever supernatural had caused her sister to scream. But when she got to the living room all she saw were video boxes strewn between small piles of popped corn. Looking frantically for her baby sister’s whereabouts she jumped when the front door slammed in the wake of blurred version of Phoebe.
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Phoebe turned the corner into the living room, still inwardly grumbling. She had just made it to the coffee table when her fingers grazed the Architectural Digest that Prue was glancing through, that morning before leaving for work. Her head started to spin and her ears began to ring, the physic flash warning her oldest sister was in danger. She thought of nothing else, but to get to her. The vision was haunting and fatal. So without even cluing Piper in she headed for the driveway, her eyes focused on the door handle of the Jeep and her heart focused on saving her sister.

“Damn it!!” Phoebe cursed as she tried to open the driver’s door with her trembling hands. The sound of the alarm disengaging caused her eyes to leave her futile task.

“Helps if you have these.” Piper said as she dangled the car keys in front of Phoebe’s nose, ticked her sister even considered going solo on a demon hunt.

~ Parking garage at Bucklands ~

The rest became a blur, but clear enough to see that Prue was right where she had seen her take her last breath. Piper was running just ahead of her when the gnarly faced beast turned to see her approaching. In one fell swoop he sent a fireball at Piper’s head, Phoebe arrived just in time to knock Piper out of the way; propelling her into the bumper of a nearby parked car. Sparing no time she pulled the spell she had winged in the car, hoping a homegrown one size fits all pentameter chant would save the life of her mother by proxy. She was just on the last metered line when the creature made one last ditch effort to rescue his hide. The fireball flew through the air heading right for her midriff. Phoebe had little time to react, but she knew she’d regret it if she didn’t try. So she clipped the last word out of her mouth as she back-flipped herself into the path of the flaming orb, taking its target with her. The anguished cries echoed off the cement walls as the villainous monster bit the dust.

The harsh sound of her sister’s voice drew her back to the living room.

“... And that’s your problem you don’t think!! You ALWAYS let your emotions rule your actions.” Prue was clearly on a roll. She could see the sheen beginning to build across the dark brown gaze that remained averted, still she kept on. Phoebe had been pissy all week yet she held her tongue. But tonight she had gone too far. She nearly died, and if anything pissed Prue off more, it was to have one of her sisters in jeopardy.

Piper lay there playing possum, she knew why Phoebe did what she did, it was what made... well made Phoebe, Phoebe. And she knew Prue knew that too. But this was something they had yet to work out and the comfort the cushions provided her pounding head were too tempting to leave just to referee yet another spat.

“We’ve been over this a thousand times. We are in this Charmed thing together... Uh hello it’s the Power of Three, not ONE!! Besides you promised me you would always tell at least one of us about what you’ve seen in your premonitions!” Prue fumed as her heavy pace resumed. After several awkward moments of silence, silence Prue had not expected, she turned and dramatically waved her hand and shouted. “WELL?” Expecting to be given some sort of weak explanation for Phoebe’s erroneous actions.

“Sorry.” Phoebe said just above a whisper.

“WHAT!?!” Prue exclaimed. “SORRY!!! THAT’S IT?? THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS SORRY? PHOEBE YOU PROMISED.... YOU PROMISED ME AND YOU BROKE THAT PROMISE!!!”

That was it, Phoebe couldn’t take it anymore. She had stayed silent as long as she could. But anger was not in her tone nor rage in her words. Slowly she walked up to her red faced sister and simply said. “You’re right I did. I did break my promise. Funny isn’t... I guess I really did grow up to be just like you after all.”

Blinding tears... tears she didn’t want Prue to see fell as she ran past her sister and out the front door.

Piper cringed as she heard her big sister spit out her anger. She, of all people, had no right to point fingers about actions being clouded by emotions. Didn’t she realize what she sounded like? Or was it that she was so out of control that her reasoning was temporarily put out of order?

Prue just stood there. The words echoing off the walls of her mind as she heard the Jeep take off with the eerie screech of the tires. The bright lights of Leo’s arrival made her trace the steps of her retreating sister,. In her path was a folded piece of paper; drawn to the square of papyrus, she picked it up and found it to be a news clipping.

LITTLE GIRL ABDUCTED FROM BAY AREA HOME ~ NO LEADS

Prue’s eyes moved to the date of the edition. ~ August 12, 1977.

...Exactly twenty years ago today.

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“We do not know the true value of our moments until they have undergone the test of memory.” ~ Georges Duhamel
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Just as the sun was coming up over the blue horizon Phoebe rounded the corner and pulled the Jeep into the nearest parking spot. There were many mini guest lots scattered through out the park, but this was the one she always chose. Shutting off the engine and grabbing her bottle of water she headed to the sign that read ‘Nature Trail.’

Three miles into her trek she slowed her pace, instinct telling her she was almost there. Sure enough, fifty yards in the distance lay an offshoot; an obscure footpath that only a seasoned hiker would take notice of. With a slight smile of satisfaction, Phoebe bore to the right heading down the path that didn’t exist until she started coming here twelve years ago. The underbrush tickled her legs as she trudged deeper into the woods, the sun sporadically trickling through the giant Sequoia’s dense leaves. The shafts of light leading her to the clearing that was just ahead.

The brilliance reflecting off the field of wild flowers caused her eyes to automatically pull into a squint. Taking a long drink from her bottle of now warm water, she scanned the wide open space, looking for what she had come for. Wiping her moistened brow she took up her pilgrimage toward the perfectly shaped oak that majestically took root in the center of her self proclaimed utopia.

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In sporadic drifts, memories
flutter down, like skeletal leaves
in slow motion -- fragile whispers torn
from the branches of yesterday... ~ Online Author Unknown
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There, in the silent meadow, beneath the oak tree. Is where she found her. Silent, sitting, pensively gazing at the fallen petals of a wild flower. Prue stood nearby waiting for something to happen. She knew she’d been crying. ‘Maybe she wants to be left alone.’ Prue thought, but it was really her wish not to have to face her hurting sister. Prue had some understanding of the sorrow which gripped her sister’s heart, but she also felt so ill equipped to comfort her.

Phoebe heard the rustle of the distant lea and knew whose tread was drawing near. She knew she’d come.

“Hey.” Prue spoke, her voice shaky and unsure.

“Hey.” Her reply raspy, her throat dry from thinking too much.

“How’d you find me?” Phoebe said trying to ease the awkwardness they were both feeling.

“You’re my sister, I go on instinct.” She informed, with a clumsy grin taking the corners of her lips upward.

“You scryed for me didn’t you?” Phoebe said not even attempting to make eye contact.

“Guilty.” Prue admitted, as she cautiously drew closer to her sister’s side.

“Figured. Just didn’t expect you this soon.” She said still not opening her eyes.

“Well, trust me it wasn’t that hard. You’re emotions are running so high that the crystal flew passed, a speeder, a burglary in progress and two domestic disputes. It nearly pulled me over the table. I’d have to say you’re just a little more than pissed.

Phoebe grinned. Her big sister could always get her to smile, even when she was at her angriest. “How’s Piper?” She asked as she felt Prue sit down next to her under the shade of the beautiful tree.

“BAD!” Prue said, her tone turning deadly serious.

This caused Phoebe’s lids to fly open, fear deepening her cocoa gaze. “How bad?” Not sure if she really wanted to know.

“I nearly had to use your handcuffs again, that’s how bad.”

Perplexed at how a bump on the head would deem that necessary Phoebe questioned... “Wendego?”

“Worse!!” Prue said sadly shaking her heard.

“Worse???” Phoebe said, ready to rush back to the Manor.

“Yeah, afraid so.” She responded, the crease on her forehead deepening.

“Do you know what it is... Demon? Warlock? or YTBD?” Phoebe babbled as her thoughts were in full Wiccan mode.

“None of the above.” Prue sullenly answered.

“Would you cut with all this cryptic crap Prue! What’s wrong with OUR sister!!” Phoebe’s voice heading towards frantic, as her nerves were already shot from a week of hardly any sleep.

“Pheebs, I hate to tell you this but... but...”

“PRUE!!!”

“Ok!! Ok!!! She has... well she has Worried Pissed Off Middle Sister Syndrome and...” But Prue never got to finish as Phoebe punched Prue’s arm, quickly knocking her sister off center.

“Damn it Prue!! That was so not right!!” Phoebe said with a glare of anger mixed with relief.

“True, but it got you to finally look at me.” Prue said as she pulled herself up, a gleam of satisfaction mixed with hesitation.

“Maybe so, but it won’t get me to talk.” Phoebe pouted as she inched herself further from her big sisters side.

Prue searched for something to say, something to break the monotony. “Piper’s fine you know, but you’re gonna have to deal with Leo when you get back. I must say he was less then happy with you jamming up his Whiteligher frequencies.

“Well, he’s a pacifist he can’t stay mad for long.” Phoebe slightly grinned, silently thanking her Grams for teaching her the nifty little trick.

“Pheebs, talk to me.” Prue spoke, it was the phrase that she used when she was sorry, but hadn’t quite come to terms with forming it into an apology.

Phoebe stared straight ahead, not knowing where to begin. She knew her sister was trying to reach out, and she loved her for it, but she honestly didn’t know how to properly voice all the emotions running through her at that moment.

“It’s beautiful here Pheebs, how did you find it in all this mass of trees?

“This... this is the place.” She said as a thin tear ran down her cheek.

Prue saw the fragile veneer of harshness was cracking and edged her way to pull her sister to her.

“Owweeeey!!!!!!!!” Phoebe yelped as her sister’s hand touched her upper arm.

“Phoebe you’re hurt.” Prue countered; guilty she didn’t see her sister’s injury from yesterday evening’s demonic encounter.

“Yeah, well, I’ll just add it to the rest of my supernatural war wounds.” She said, leaning into her sister’s embrace.

After several minutes Prue guided her sister to her lap and once again, said “Talk to me.”

Phoebe eased herself down and used Prue’s leg as a pillow and her arm as a security blanket.

“This is the place were the accident happened. That’s the tree that stopped the van.” Phoebe chattered as her long finger pointed to the deep scar in the mighty oak’s bark.

The shiver of her younger sister became contagious as she knew that she was leaning against the timber that save her baby’s life.

“I’ve been having these dreams.” Phoebe said as played with the lace on her sister’s shoe.

“What kind of dreams?” Prue asked as she ran her hand through her sister’s hair trying to ease her restlessness.

“Well it has me and this guy and well we’re...” Phoebe teased, as she tried to put off the inevitable.

“Quit stalling Pheebs, and spill it.”

“I’ve been having these dreams all week, and each time they tell me more about what happened. Filling in the gaps I’ve had all these years.” She said nervously repositioning her head.

Prue could feel the warmth radiating off her sister’s brow and knew that the past was something neither liked to talk about, but realized that at least they would be facing it together.

“Tell me what you saw.” Prue’s words so soft, it was hard to imagine she even had a tough side.

I remember the tire iron whirling its way toward Tracy, I just reacted... I guess even then I somehow knew I was meant to protect Innocents. I jumped in front of Tracy, covering her so that my body took the hit. But simultaneously the van hit the tree separating us and sending the tire iron right into Tracy’s temple. The next thing I know I am being yanked up and ordered to swap clothing with my Life Saver.

Prue could feel the dampness of Phoebe’s tears drawing through her jeans. She said nothing as she just kept cradling her sister’s little form.

Maggie was violently rambling... strangely in her own world. As I did what I was told, I couldn’t help but look into her eyes. They were as if she was saying, ‘It’s ok... I promised I’d take care of you and this was meant to be.’ With my own bloodied hand, I forever closed the brown eyes of the child to whom I will always be eternally grateful to.

Soon after, we took off on foot to a small house just outside of the city. It was a two day hike. We must have walked fifteen miles to get there, taking the back roads, hardly resting in our journey. The next year was spent in hell except for the wingless angels of Dylan, DJ, Mary, Michael... and Matthew...”

“Matthew? You never mentioned him before. Who is he?” Prue questioned, securing her hold around the trembling frame.

Matthew, was just a little baby, not even three months old, when I first arrived. He had a birth defect that left him crippled. Oh Prue his was so cute and sweet. But I guess he was in pain a lot because he screamed so often. I was the only one that was able to get him stop. And... And...

Phoebe’s quaking became near convulsions as she recalled what no one, save Jack Trudeau and a select few knew.

“Shh... Pheebs I’ve got you. Hush Baby... You don’t have to tell me now, just rest for awhile. Prue said, as an uneasiness crept through her mind, landing square on her heart.

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“...Through the vines of yesterday, our branches grew,
and you became a rose within my heart.” ~ Unknown
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“Are you sure she’s ok?”

“Yeah, she just fell asleep; we should be home in a few hours.”

“Ok... If you’re sure... I could have Leo orb...”

“Piper really, she’s ok Sweetie, you know this is something she and I have to work out alone. Please don’t be mad. It’s just...”

“I know... and I understand. Really I do.”

“Thanks Piper you’re the best... How’s the head?”

“Don’t be worrying about my head, just take care of Phoebe and bring her home safe and sound, Promise me!?!”

“I promise! And Pipe?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you!”

“I love you too Prue... I love you too.”

Piper tossed the cordless onto the empty cushion of the sofa, before returning to the cuddled warmness of her soul mate. She couldn’t help shake the chill of what happened, twenty years ago. She could feel the same sense of loss as she saw her baby sister run out the door. She wanted her back, safe in the Manor so she could know Phoebe would not leave them again.

Leo wrapped his arms around the softness of her shoulders, and could feel the whirlwind of emotions stirring in her heart. He didn’t have to be her Whitelighter to know that she would not fully relax until BOTH her sisters were back in her field of vision. So he pulled her to him and tenderly kissed the tears from her cheeks. Making his way to her lips he just let his love take over, his overwhelming love for her flow through his body, beautifully melding with hers... a union of body, soul and spirit.
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She felt for the tiny little object in her pocket, the possession that got her through many a night without her. As her fingers held its shape for security her eyes held their gaze on the restless sister, anxiously sleeping in her care. She watched as the beads of worry, filtered through the pores of her pain. Prue could feel the blaze of emotions, causing her fevered brow to thrash under the influence of her memories.

“No!!!”

“Pwease don’t!!!”

“Weave him awone!! You’re hurtin’ him!!!”

“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Phoebe bolted up, trying to disentangle herself from the grip around her fleeing waist. “Get away from me!! Weave him awone!!!” She barked as Prue attempted to keep her from hurting her already injured arm.

“Easy Pheebs, it’s me! I won’t hurt you... or baby Matthew. Easy Little One I’ve got you now, she can’t hurt you any more.” Prue said as she felt Phoebe’s muscles begin to relax at the onset of her words.

Phoebe just clung to her big sister, wishing she could make her monster go away, but she knew that this nightmare from her past was not make believe, but real... very, very real.

Prue laid her chin on top of her sister’s head and just let her cry out her history into the arms she always ran too as a child. After about a half an hour Phoebe reluctantly pulled away.

“Better?”

“Yeah thanks... And Prue...” But she never finished as her hands reached for her head, screaming at the horrible pain that crushed from temple to temple. The sudden screech of agony caused the startled meadowlarks to band in flight, escaping the potential danger her cries implied.

Prue reached into her pocket and pulled out the small bottle of medicine, and gently placed a small white tablet under Phoebe’s tongue. She then pulled her back down, wordlessly telling her to lay still. Her little sister eagerly obeyed resting in her proffered succor. Prue tenderly ran her hands over her forehead, helping to ease the torture with just her touch. Phoebe felt for the tiny little object in her pocket, the possession that got her through many a night without her sisters. After the drugs began to take affect, she dared to open her eyes. She gave a relieved smile to see that her big sister’s gaze was softly taking her in.

“I’ll try my question again, Better?” Prue said, letting her fingers continue to trace the gathers in her sister’s brow.

“Yeah. Much better, thank you... again. Say how’d you know to bring my meds?”

“You’re my daughter, I go on instinct.” Prue said as her own muscles relaxed, letting relief wash over her face.

“Piper insisted you take them with you when decided to drag my ass back home, didn’t she?” Phoebe countered; savoring the fact her sister called her ‘daughter’. Prue didn’t use it often, but when she did, it made Phoebe feel... well feel special.

“Guilty.” Prue confessed, as she grinned at how well Phoebe knew both her and Piper.

She gazed long into her sentry’s stare. “His eyes were like yours you know.” Phoebe said out of nowhere. Continuing on her journey of memories gone by.

“It was the weekend before Papa Jack rescued me and Maggie was on her usual forty-eight hour bender. I don’t think she was always like that. You see Tracy was really her own child, and in her own twisted way she truly loved the little girl...”

“Hell of a way to show someone you love them.” Prue muttered as she shook her head in disgust. Just the mention of Maggie’s name sent Prue’s, just below the surface, outrage into overdrive.

“Well, Maggie didn’t have anyone to show her how to love. She was just as much a victim as the rest of us.” Phoebe countered; as she gave her hot-tempered sister’s hand a gentle squeeze.

Prue returned the press with one of her own, amazed at how her little sis could be so forgiving and defend the woman who condemned her to a life of pain and heartache. She let her heart settle on her great pride in Phoebe rather than give into the anger that threatened to send her into a justified rant. So she focused on her sister’s eyes and let them guide her back to self-control.

“Anyway...” Phoebe continued, drawing on distant memories to make the throbbing of her present become but a vague outline in the picture of her life.

“Her sense of loss and fury were always enhanced by the alcohol and the sound of Matthew’s cries. But this weekend was the worst. He would not stop screaming no matter what I tried. I tried everything, really I did... It’s just that finally... Oh God Prue, I don’t know if I can do this... I can’t!!! I can’t do this!!!” Phoebe said crawling into Prue’s lap, too afraid to face what was haunting her.

Prue didn’t know what to say as she held tightly to her baby sister. She had seen Phoebe scared plenty of times, but only a few occasions that were so intense as to make her feel the need to revert back to a child.

Drawing on a memory... “Pheebs, remember when you wanted to help me with my luggage, when I was going off to college?” Prue began.

“Yeah.” Phoebe hesitantly said as she was trying to focus only on her sister’s voice.

“Do you recall what I said when you went for the biggest bag in the pile?” She continued, never letting Phoebe feel anything but her love.

“You said, that it was too heavy for me to handle, and then you put your hand over mind and we carried it together.” Phoebe tearfully said, as the memory evoked that which was both bitter and sweet.

“That’s right honey, so just take this heavy burden that you are carrying and place it into that piece of luggage and hand in hand we’ll carry it together.” Prue said as she gently placed her hand over her little sisters.

Taking a deep breath and allowing Prue to support her leaning sides, she started to relay what, she had never spoken of.

“Like I said he wouldn’t stop crying, and finally Maggie had had enough. She grabbed me by the arm, nearly making me drop Matthew, and hauled us both into the... the... bathroom, locking the door behind us.” Phoebe felt the hot August heat send chills down her spine as she replayed the scene in her mind. “She filled the... the bathtub with water, swearing in between her hungered gulps of Jack Daniels. Once the tub was filled to near overflowing, she attempted to yank Matthew free from my death grip. She succeeded, I was just too little to prevent her adrenaline rush from winning... Matthew only wailed all the more. He... he put up a valiant fight as did I, trying to release him from her crazed hands. I... I watched as his tiny arms flailed against the force, holding him under the water of his death pool. I... I watched as his little mouth attempted to gain desperate ventilation, only to have his infant lungs fill with the moisture of his end. I... I watched as the massive bubbles surfacing the innocent’s sea of fatality, slowly dissipated into a flat line of hydrogen and oxygen. I... I watched as the frantic blue eyes, that never left mine, changed from frenzied animation to still dullness. I... I watched the child I helped raise die, all because of me.” Her tears were dry, as her arid eyes no longer could hold back the parched sobs that filled her thirsty gaze. The dehydrated secretion ran down her waterless cheeks.

Prue’s eyes ached with the anguish that her sister was having to disclose. Hell having to have lived through. She wanted to wave a wand, say a spell, make a potion... anything that would make the pain she felt oozing from her soul, go away. But she couldn’t and that made the journey all that much harder to walk with the one who walked it all alone, twenty years ago. So she let herself cry for the child... for the sister... for the daughter. She let herself become the vessel for the tears that Phoebe could not shed.

Phoebe continued on, as if in a blind trance... “Then without warning she pointed to the lifeless form floating to the surface and told me it was my fault that he died, if I had just kept him quite... if I had just gotten him to fall asleep, he would be alive and not eternally unconscious. She blamed me for Tracy’s death too and said that all the beatings I endured were my just punishment for having failed. She then pulled the a wilted toddler from the water taking him to the other room and callously tossed him onto the makeshift bed, she then began to exact her retribution on me.

When she was too drunk to stand and too intoxicated to get her fist to make any further contact I broke free as we both passed out on the floor.”

Anger... Guilt... Fury... Blame... Remorse... Shame... Sprinted, dashed and raced through her whole system, as control gave way to surrender. Phoebe took the plastic water bottle... an object that represented the evil that took the life of a child, and she hurled it across the floral meadow, releasing her acidic bitterness along with the remainder of the recyclable’s contents.

“That’s why you freaked out when we wanted to give you a bath, when you first came back home, isn’t it? Oh Pheebs, Grams didn’t know, none of us knew. I am so sorry Baby!” Prue said as her rage at this hedonistic piece of humanity was failing to stay suppressed.

Still absorbed in her nightmare she dreamed on... “The next thing I remember is her throwing me in the closet and pitching Matthew’s dead body into my arms, mockingly growling to make sure that I keep his trap shut. Knowing he was already dead, her sneer wrapped itself around the hollow laugh as she watch the tears run down my cheeks. I... I felt the dampness of his cooling skin, soak through my shirt. I... I listened for the tiny coo he always gave, when I enveloped my hand in his. I... I looked into the eyes that seemed to say, ‘It’s ok... you promised me you’d take care of me and you did... this was meant to be.’ So once again I forever closed the blue eyes of the lost child to whom I will always be eternally grateful to.

Soon after, I don’t know maybe a couple of hours, I heard the door open and Papa Jack came and saved me. It took Aunt Helen only a few minutes to know that Matthew was dead, but nearly a half an hour to get me to let him go.”

Phoebe broke free from her sister’s hold, stood up and began to pace. An agitated gait that reminded Prue so much of her own. The pallor of her sister’s face gave Prue the heads up that her sister was about to loose it.

Phoebe stopped mid stride, sinking to her knees in defeat. She began to scream uncontrollably, her pent up torment echoing off the dense forest green, producing the mourning doves to join in her sorrow. She couldn’t stop the tears, tears that flowed as freely as her emotions. She couldn’t stop her thoughts, as they surged past her weakening barrier. The dull throbbing that grew in intensity over the past two decades came to an excruciating pinnacle. An acme of anguish the likes few ever have to endure.

“I don’t want to feel this again!!!! Please!!!” She could hear herself breathing, ragged and gasping as she strove to deny her emotion. I don’t was to feel the pain...”

“Oh Pheebs...”

“You don’t understand Prue.” She strained. “I can’t bear the weight of guilt anymore... Don’t you see Prue!! I want it all to end!!! ‘I’ want to end...” Her voice was so small, yet the words were both large and disarming.

Of all that Prue had heard over the last hours... Those words scared her the most. For the sister so full of life, had just told her that she wanted to be no more. The spirited woman had just informed her that she was eager to extinguish her eternal flame.

She felt her sister’s strong arms wrap around her, she tried to pull away, but Prue wouldn’t break her hold. So Phoebe was forced to unbind herself verbally.

“DON’T YOU GET IT??? AUGUST 12th... I KILLED THEM!!! ALL OF THEM!! I MURDERED TRACY ON AUGUST 12th... I DROWNED MATTHEW ON AUGUST 12th... MAGGIE HUNG HERSELF IN HER JAIL CELL ON AUGUST 12th... DON’T YOU SEE PRUE??? YESTERDAY WAS AUGUST 12th!!!

I HAD TO GET TO YOU!!! I COULDN’T LET YOU DIE TOO, NOT BECAUSE OF ME??? I COULDN’T LOSE YOU PRUE... I COULDN’T LOSE MY MAMA... NOT AGAIN!!!”

Prue was too shocked to say anything. How could she have let her baby sister think it was her fault. How could an insane adult, blame an innocent child for the sins of their own hands.

“Sunshine, it is so not your fault!! Maggie brainwashed you into thinking that, but that doesn’t mean what she said was true. Just look at Dylan, DJ, Mary and Michael... not then, but today. Today they live lives that are full and meaningful. Dylan, and Mike are at the Police Academy, DJ, just started her pre-law courses and Mary will be getting her nursing certificate next month. And because of YOU, they have the best parents and big brother in the world. Andy loves them and is so proud of his brothers, and soooo overprotective of his sisters... And Papa Jack and Aunt Helen so wanted more children, and YOU gave them that!!! NOT MAGGIE!!! YOU gave them a chance for a better life, by giving up a piece of yours. SO DON’T YOU EVER LET ME HERE YOU SAY IT WAS YOUR FAULT AND I WILL KICK YOUR SORRY LITTLE ASS IF YOU EVER... AND I MEAN EVER TALK ABOUT WANTING TO DIE AGAIN!!”

“It’s... It’s not my fault?” Phoebe questioned as she looked for assurance in the only place that she felt safe.

“Do you trust me?” Prue posed.

“With... with my life.” Phoebe returned.

“Then trust what I say when, you are nothing short of a hero in my eyes. The year you were gone I spent my time doing what you are... were... But Grams set me straight and now I’m just paying it forward. There were nights I would cry myself to sleep holding the only thing I had left of you, blaming myself for your disappearance. I held on to you with this...” Prue slowly pulled out the tiny pink tennis shoe that fell off of Phoebe’s foot when she tried to escape from Maggie’s clutch.

“And there were so many nights that I would cry myself to sleep holding the only thing that reminded me of home... of you. Blaming myself for not keeping my promise, not to go with strangers. I held onto you with this...” Phoebe slowly pulled out the matching shoe that she hid in her pocket all those years ago. So the answer to your question is YES!! I trust you, but more importantly I love you!!” Phoebe ended with a small swipe at her remaining tears, before having Prue pull her up giving her a hug that led them back to the shade of the tree.

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I, the little sister, am content in the branches of my idol.
I, the sapling, am happy here in the branches of the great oak I worship.
As I sit here, my branches sway with happiness.
Her trunk tall, her roots firm, she hugs me and love flows between us as though our roots were joined.
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Both sat with hands interlocked, lost in their own thoughts. Both content to stay silent as their love needed no words to be heard. Phoebe happy and at ease for the first time in years was first to break the silence.

“It was beautiful you know.”

“What was baby girl?” Prue asked still reeling from their exhausting journey through the hills and valleys on their way to the land of healing.

“My funeral.”

“WHAT!?!”

“My funeral... it was so beautiful... Well it was actually Tracy’s funeral, but beautiful none the less.” Phoebe said grinning at the confused and goofy look spreading across her sister’s face.

“You... You were there?” Prue stuttered out still trying to wrap the idea around her memories.

“Sure was. Who do you think it was that squeezed your hand, letting you know it was ok to let the balloon go...”

“That... that was you?”

“Yeah. Oh God Prue... I so wanted to jump in your arms and have you save me, but I knew if I did she... she would have used the gun in her coat pocket, the gun she had pointing directly at Piper.”

Once again, Prue was speechless at the never-ending revelations from the sister she always thought of as weak, who had so strongly prevailed.

“That... that was your little voice that started to spontaneously sing, wasn’t it?” Prue asked, as in hindsight, she knew the voice to be that of her sister.

“Right again. I don’t know why I started to sing... Hell I barely even knew what the words meant, but I figured it’s my funeral I’ll sing a song I like. Barry Manilow was on Sesame Street the week before I was kidnapped and he was talking about people needing to get along and that it only took one voice to...” Phoebe was interrupted as Prue jumped up pulling her sister up with her.

“Come on.” She said as it was now her turn to smile at the perplexed look she was getting.

“What?”

“I’ve got somewhere I want to take you!” Prue said, pulling her confused sister along the path she made just hours earlier.

Phoebe scooped up the empty water bottle not wanting to ruin the beauty of her hidden sanctuary. As they reached the parking lot Phoebe began to pull away and head for the Jeep, but Prue’s grip just towed her to her side. “No way Missy!! There ain’t no way I’m letting you out of my sight. Not for a long time. You’re coming with me!” Prue said as she shoved her worried sister into the passenger’s seat to the SUV.

“What... what about the Jeep? Piper will kill, me if I don’t bring it home.”

“Don’t worry about Piper, I have a feeling that the Jeep is not really on her mind at the moment.” Slyly grinning, causing Phoebe to roll her eyes.

“Eww!”
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

As they pulled up, Prue watched her sister’s eyes dance. Dance and shine like they used too so many years ago.

Prue had barely gotten the car in park when Phoebe was out the door like a flash.

Prue laughed to see that the child in her sister had returned. Locking the Beemer, she headed in the direction of her once again happy sister.

“Higher... Prue Higher!!” Phoebe yelled, her voice ebbing in and out with each swing.

“I can’t I’m pushing you has high as I can.” Prue laughed at the contagiousness of her sister’s energy and her joy in the simple.

“No you’re not. Come on Prue, nobody’s here. Just one little squint, that’s all I’m asking for.” Phoebe turned putting on her best ‘you can’t refuse me’ look.

“NO!!”

“PWEASE!!!!!!”

“YOU ARE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS!!” Prue chuckled as she narrowed her gaze, sending the chain link swing up over the top bar of it’s A frame.

“WEEEEE!!!” She screamed holding on tight as the swing’s fetter, sent her flying through the air.

Once the swing came to a complete stop, she jumped of and ran and hugged her big sister. “You kept your promise. Thank you!!”

“I’m just sorry it took me so long.” She said as she held her serious gaze on her sister’s gorgeous brown eyes.

Taking Prue’s arm she started to lead them to the BMW. “Well better late than never, I always say.”

“BUT?” Prue asked, as she pulled her sister to a halt. Knowing Phoebe had something up her sleeve.

“No buts.” She said as she forced Prue to resume their gait.

After an appropriate pause. “However... Since I waited twenty years for you to keep your said promise I do believe a trip for ice cream is only fair.” Phoebe cheekily said as Prue just laughed.

“Yeah Squirt, I guess it’s only fair.”

“Prue?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you!”

“I love you too!”

“To the moon and back?”

“To the moon and back! Always...”

“Forever...”


The End

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“A ministering Angel shall my sister be...” ~ William Shakespeare
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This trivet of stories, The Price Of A Broken Promise, Promises To Keep and Promise Me, are dedicated in loving memory to my real big sister, Marian. “The best friend I never knew. Until we meet, keep looking out for your little sis will ya? I love you... To the moon and back!”


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Poetry Acknowledgement: The beautiful poem, Content In The Branches was written by Becky P. an 8 year old sister of an adoptee, in honor of her Big Sister (From BB/BS org.) I would love to read what this talented young lady has to offer in the years ahead.