Disclaimer: I lay no claim to any of the Charmed characters, quotes, or overt references that may appear in my stories. They are the sole property of Spelling Television. I write for my own satisfaction and for the enjoyment of those who choose to read them.

This soliloquium, of sorts, was inspired by the song, sung by Josh Groban. It has pulled at my heartstrings for many months, and recently, in the wee hours of the night I penned the following. For many reasons this song has deeply moved me.

I have taken the liberty of providing a link; so that if you wish, you can listen to the powerful words of Linda Thompson (wife of David Foster) as they are beautifully, accompanied by the music of Richard Marx, you may. Many may be familiar with this wonderful piece, but I encourage you to take the time to listen to it... perhaps again. Be it before, during or after you have read these humble ruminations. Its words speak such truth and at the same time offers such hope.


http://d21c.com/Poetry_nMotion/Love/pages/ToWhereYouAre.html


To Where You Are

~Short~

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

She sat in the window seat, her knees pulled as close to her as was humanly possible. She had not moved since he left her. Since the day of his funeral. The room was dark, cluttered with dishes of half eaten food, and dying floral arrangements. The floor was a sea of white, crumpled tissues strewn everywhere. Her sisters gave up on trying to comfort her. How could one begin to take away that kind of pain? An ache so engrossed into your soul that to breathe was unadulterated anguish.

So there she sat. Her briny gaze set on the blanket of sky, a universal awning that was covered with pinhole dots of light.

“Are you still there?” She nearly begged.

Crashing Silence...

Her tears flowed freely in the darkness of the sanctuary of their room. A space that was so full... full of him. She sadly pulled her view to balance of the room; the shafts of moon boldly dared light her haven of unrest. Memories filled every corner. The nightstand held the book that they read each night. The closet filled with his clothes and his scent. Overpowering... Slowly she rose, walking with tender steps. Pulling the knob she inhaled. The mixture of him and her... Their clothes the only thing that would ever touch again. Her shaky hand reached in and drew his favorite shirt from off the hanger. Taking it to her breast she wrapped the sleeves around her neck, sobbing, silently into its stiff collar.

“A...are y...you s...still t...there?” Falling to her knees she clung, clung to the clearness of their memories.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be?
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

With trepidation, she lifted her tear stained face to the heavens. Yes... yes she heard him.

“Can it be?”

The room filled with a brilliance that was seen only by her. The intensity of his eyes burned through the radiance that surrounded him. She felt a hand both gentle and firm. Its hold gingerly pulling her to her feet. The shirt slipped from her fingers as she felt his arms wrap around her waist. The soundless music was only for their ears. He easily danced her around the room. Her head resting on his strong and secure shoulder. The man who inspired her to greatness. With him she felt nothing in life was impossible, except... except a life without him. Still she danced. Breathing in and out the moment.

“Can it be?”

“Yes... yes my Forever Love...” His voice evaporating all the air from the room.

Opening her enraptured eyes, she found she was still seated on the quilted bench, staring into the vast canopy of space. One star seeming to shine brighter than the rest. A stab, a wonderful pierce embedded itself into her soul. Reaching for the pane that separated them...

“F...Forever L...Love...”

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

She wished upon all that was descent in heaven that she could go to him. Escape the surreal for that distant star that beckoned her with such persuasive urgency. To see him smile. The one that melted her. The one that he shared only with her. Oh how she wished... If only for a moment to know that he was there. A breath caught in her throat as she opened the window. The gentle breeze awakening the scent of his cologne. The aroma digging deep into the passion she wished to share again.

“I wish...”

She placed her hand on the small round of her tummy. A dart of deep sadness barbed her memory. She recalled the evening she told him. The restaurant was empty save for the staff and themselves. The menu was set to include such things as Baby-backed ribs, sweet baby peas, tatter tots and dessert was a Baby Ruth candy bar placed upon a baby blue plate. The floral arrangement was a lovely bouquet of colorful mums and the napkins were neatly encircled with a decorative teething ring. The stringed quartet played only soft soothing lullabies. She clutched her fist to her breast, as waves of grief twisted themselves around her heart. The vision of his wide eyes, as he FINALLY caught on. The shout of joy that caused the private bistro’s personnel to burst into applause. The swirling of her skirt as he spun her around the dance floor, repeating two wonderful words.

“Thank you... Thank you... Thank you...”

The echoes of his voice pulled her back to the four walls that imprisoned her happiness. Back to the now, that would make her raise their child alone. Back to where he was not, or ever would be again.

She removed her hand from the glass panel, her moistened print slowly fading... fading.

“I... I W... wish....”

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

She made her way to the empty bed. Her aching flesh, searing from the touch of the satin sheets. She closed her lids over the eyes that felt as if shard of glass had taken up permanent residency. Her head pounded around the endless history their storybook romance contained. She prayed sleep would come quickly. For it was only in the comfort of nothingness that the oft used cliche... ‘time heals all wounds’ was actually true.

As exhaustion claimed her consciousness, she fell into peaceful agitation. She felt such a warmth, such a loving, powerful flame. A heated caress that instantly melted the icy hold that death seized within her the day he died.

“Are you gently sleeping... Here inside my dream?”

She heard the beating of his heart as it quickened to equal hers. The wonder of him, still amazed her. How could just one man evoke so much emotion within just one woman? But he could and he is... was hers. As the grip of confusion and loss threatened to claim the throne of her heart yet again, she listened as the wind whispered his voice from the recent past.

“My Forever Love... Isn’t faith believing that all power can’t be seen?”

A principle he unwaveringly claimed and valiantly lived... and died by. Her spirit surged with pride and purpose. A purpose she would carry on and instill in their son or daughter. Faith to see what can’t be seen, Faith to keep her afloat in the seas of uncertainty and Faith to surround her with the courage to accept the impossible, as an opportunity to be conquered and defeated. No matter what was to be faced, no matter the odds, Faith would gain her victory in whatever plagued her body, soul or spirit.

“I... isn’t F... faith... b...believing?”

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you’re mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

She hugged his pillow to her tormented body. The coolness of its nearness setting her heart afire. The unison of their kindred spirits once again rekindling the one that was left behind. She grasped the pillow as if it was him, only a heart beat distancing them. The treasured memories he gave her, snippets of what was, what is and what will be would be she’d cherish forever...

“Why?”

“Because you’re mine.”

“Yes my Forever Love, you are mine, death will not take you from my heart. The grave will not separate us. I will carry you on into eternity. Oh but my dearest love, please watch over me. Keep me too in you heart. Return to me as you did today, reminding me of the infinite love we shared... share. A love that can’t be defined by mere words, a unity of two lives that even the language of the angels can not translate. When I slip, may your arms be the wind that balances me. When I weep, may your fingers be in the rain, wiping my sorrow away. And when I bring the child of our love into the world, may I see you in their eyes, hear you in their laugh and oh please... please let me feel your touch when their tiny fingers wrap around my own.

“Watch over us... My Forever love.”

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

She awoke refreshed but alone. Somehow this time it didn’t hurt as much. Somehow the day looked a shade brighter. Somehow the two sisters on the inverse of her door, she now longed to be with. The knowledge must have reached them as they cautiously broach the entrance of her room. All three gazing, none daring to be first.

Faith...

Slowly one made her way to the center of her scope. The other swiftly followed. Tears, releasing her pain rushed her cheeks. Gasps of letting go, prevailed. The liberation was bittersweet. Her eyes desperately sought her sister’s. Relief and sorrow reached out and embraced her. The comforting arms of compassion encircled her. The exquisite and perfect love of family made the exodus easier.

Sheltered in the left and right wings of her sisters, she slept. Letting her soul soar. Flying to were he is. Smiling.... Taking his hand, allowing the breath of love to narrow the distance between heaven and earth.
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

...Love will live on and never leave.



~Finis~


~:~This was written with a specific sister in mind. I purposely omitted names. I will let your imagination reveal to whom I was referring. The narrative’s context could inhabit any one of the four, perhaps your vision of a certain sister will touch your heart more than my own. Thanks for taking the time to read this simple offering.~:~


Disclaimer: Lyrics to To Where You Are were written by Linda Thompson. All rights belong to the respective artists. The only thing I claim is my admiration for her extreme talent.