Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Charmed. They are sole property of Spelling Entertainment, et al.

Rated PG [It's a Christmas story]

She placed the last ornament on the tree and turned on the multi-colored lights, praying that they worked. She was never one to check the lights before putting them on the tree. They worked and to her amusement glowed brightly. She turned off the light in the living room and sat on the couch taking a deep breath and exhaling to the sounds of Bing Crosby flowing from the stereo. She sipped eggnog from a mug with a picture of Frosty the Snowman. She kicked off her shoes, curled up on the couch and basked in the warm welcoming glow of the lights. The rest of the house was dark and empty.

Paige sighed as she thought about Piper and Phoebe being gone once again. Paige’s favorite time of the year was Christmas, and unfortunately during her previous five Christmas seasons, it had been the loneliest time of the year. She had hoped that having sisters would change that but she had never felt lonelier. She knew it was different than before when she just didn’t have anyone there. Now she had two people who she had grown to love very much who seemed to not care about Christmas.

She knew it was about Prue. She knew that they must have had happier Christmas holidays in years past, but Paige wanted to belong. She wanted to make them see Christmas was still Christmas and not just another holiday without Prue.

She held her breath as she heard the front door open and waited to see who would enter the living room. It was 3am and she knew that the club had closed already and that Phoebe should be back from her night out with the few girlfriends she had left.

She wanted to hear compliments about how great the tree looked from whoever was entering the house. Instead, Paige was greeted by the sound of glass shattering followed by her name being growled. She knew Piper was home.

“Paige, damn it! How many times do we have to tell you not to leave your crap laying around?”

Paige quickly turned on the foyer light and noticed that her art supplies were in the hallway. She had planned to do some painting when she became distracted by the decorations she had found in the back of the hall closet. She looked at Piper apologetically and shrugged.

“Why are all the lights off anyway?”

Paige felt the disappointment creep into her heart. She knew Piper hadn’t even noticed the tree. She simply shrugged again and walked back into the living room knowing Piper would go straight to the kitchen and then to bed.

Alone again with no one to share the holiday spirit, Paige waited for Phoebe’s return. It wasn’t long before the front door opened again. Paige jumped up and slid into the foyer. Phoebe looked at her and smiled.

“Hey look someone’s smiling.”

Paige looked closer and could tell that Phoebe was drunk.

“Oh. No wonder you’re smiling. I remember those days.”

She helped Phoebe up the stairs and into bed. She pulled off Phoebe’s shoes and pulled the cover up around her chin and turned off the bedroom light. As she turned to leave she could hear Phoebe muttering. As she listened closer, her heart broke.

Phoebe muttered, “Christmas sucks without Prue. I wish she’d never died and everything was exactly like it was last year.”

Paige thought about what Phoebe had said as she closed the door and leaned against the wall. She looked at Piper’s closed door and could barely hear the conversation between Leo and Piper.

“Leo, I know it’s the Christmas season and there’s supposed to be Yule Tide greetings and fa-la-la-la’s but excuse me if this year I don’t feel much like celebrating. My entire life is turned upside down. Christmas is gone; it might as well have died when Prue did, because without her there is no freaking Christmas Spirit. I’d do anything to make it like it used to be.”

“You’d wish away Paige, Piper? Because wishing that things were as they used to be means a life without Paige, you’d wish her away?”

“Don’t ask me a question I can’t answer Leo.”

The words stung Paige’s soul as she allowed tears to fall down her cheeks. Paige felt as though something needed to be done. She knew she had to give them the greatest sacrifice of all, life without Paige.

She headed to the attic intent on finding the right words, the right magic to make them believe in Christmas and to give them what they wished for.

It was 5am when Paige realized exactly what she needed to make herself vanish from her sisters’ lives. She checked on Phoebe who was still sound asleep. She whispered to the middle sister.

“I love you, Phoebe. I know leaving and bringing her back is the right thing to do. I hope you’ll be truly happy.”

She then crossed the hall and cracked open Piper and Leo’s door. Leo was gone. Paige knew he had been given early morning assignments for the week. She noticed that Piper was tossing and turning. She sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to wake her oldest sister. She let a single tear slide down her face and to the floor before she looked at Piper. Piper was still asleep and Paige could tell she was troubled. She listened to Piper’s whispered words.

“I’m sorry. It was Prue. I’m sorry.”

Paige didn’t want to know about it. She was tired and ready to go.

“Piper. I’m sorry about you most of all. You never even gave me a chance. I wasn’t her and that’s all that mattered to you. I could have brought you so much happiness and laughter, but you wouldn’t give me a chance. For that I’m sorry. I know you, most of all, will be happiest by the return of your big sister. I just wish you knew how much I love you.”

She returned to the attic and finished her spell. While standing in the middle of a circle of candles, she spoke it aloud. Smoke and dust swirled around her giving her the feeling of being in a tornado without actually moving. When it all calmed down she was once again in the attic.

“Damn. It must not have worked.”

She opened the door to the attic and crept slowly down the stairs. She opened the door to Phoebe’s room and was shocked to see a twin bed, pink wallpaper, and toys. She quickly shut the door.

Paige knew the spell must have worked but not quite as she had planned. She wasn’t supposed to be there. She crept across the hall to Piper’s room and opened it. There were two twin beds, dolls and books everywhere. Paige crinkled her face in confusion and ran down the stairs to the kitchen where she knew she would find Piper. Instead she found an older man.

A tear escaped as she called out to the man.

“Who are you, and why are you in our house?”

The man did not respond.

“Did you hear me? Why are you here?”

Again nothing.

“Excuse me, sir, why in the hell are you in our house?”

“He can’t hear you, Paige.”

Paige was startled by the voice behind her. She turned quickly to find a face unfamiliar to her but familiar none the less.

“Who are you? And who is he?”

“Oh, him? He’s nothing to worry about. He’s one of your Gram’s many husbands. A nice man but not too keen on the witchcraft. He’ll be gone in a few months.”

Paige looked again at the man and then her attention turned to the sound of footsteps cascading through the kitchen. Three beautiful dark-haired girls came barreling into the room filled with laughter and giggles. The oldest one spoke first.

“Grandpa Forest, can we have cookies?”

“Now, Prue, you know your Grams would rather I feed you a good breakfast.”

Paige was stunned by the image of a very sweet 8-year-old Prue. She surmised that the youngest was an adorable 4-year-old Phoebe and the shy one was a 5-year-old Piper.

“I don’t understand. Those are my sisters but they’re children”

“Let me explain. You cast a spell to vanish yourself from Piper and Phoebe’s life. So you have. But it’s now our job to show you why you are important to them. They may not see it but you’ll have to show them. You’ll have to want to show them that having you in their life is not just their destiny, but the only way they will be happy.”

“They look pretty happy right now, without me.” Paige said as she watched the young Halliwells scamper from the room each with two cookies.

“Ahh, now they are only beginning to see the misery. In this time, this reality their mother, your mother, has died already.”

“What is this? Is this like that old movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life?” Paige remarked.

“It’s a wonderful life? I don’t know that one. I don’t know much yet about television.”

“Okay, you still haven’t told me who you are.”

“I’m Melinda Warren, your ghost of Christmas Past.”

“You’re the ghost of Christmas Past? Right. So does that make me scrooge or something? I mean, I love Christmas. They’re the ones who hate it. So am I the scrooge here?”

“No dear. You cast a spell that would take you out of your sisters’ lives. I’m here to show you their beginnings. I’m here to show you their life with Prue. Before you came into their lives. I’m here to show you that from the very beginning fate had you in mind to bring them the peace and wholeness they need. Right now I want to show you what was. Later another ghost of sorts will come along and show you two lights of Christmas Present.”

“Two lights of what?”

“Christmas pres…never mind, come now and I will show you what was. The loss these girls suffered. Maybe it will help you to understand their pain better.”

Paige became dizzy as the room began to spin. She closed her eyes and held on to Melinda’s hand. Suddenly she felt cold, miserably cold. She opened her eyes and took in the dismal gray San Francisco fog that rolled around her. She heard a crying child not far from where she stood. She looked to Melinda who was gazing at a child kneeled next to a tombstone.

Paige read the inscription and felt her heart skip a beat as she realized she stood in front of her mother’s grave.

“Why are we here, Melinda?”

“It is what was, Paige. And that young 13-year-old girl is what made the present possible.”

Paige followed Melinda’s gaze to the child weeping over the grave. She heard the child speak and knew it was Prue.

“Mommy, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. Don’t worry about Piper and Phoebe. I will love them and take care of them. I will always save them. I’d die for them.”

Paige felt all the misery and pain coming from the young Prue. She was amazed at the strength that emanated from her sister. Paige smiled at Melinda.

“She’s so strong. Piper and Phoebe were well protected.”

“You don’t know the half of it Paige. Prue was there lifeline. She taught them and held them and kept them safe.”

Paige nodded, “I know all of this. I’ve heard it all before.”

“Sure you have, but you haven’t seen for yourself.”

And with that the world began to spin again. Paige landed on her rear in the middle of a gym decorated in green and red. She looked around and recognized it as a high school gym decorated for a Christmas dance. She immediately recognized a very awkward, nerd-like Piper standing by herself at the dance while the other students danced all around her. Paige knew she had to be at least 16.

“She looks so sad, Melinda. Has Piper always been so sad?”

“Keep watching.”

Paige did so and watched as three older boys and two older girls walked toward Piper. They were laughing and Paige could tell they intimidated Piper. One of the girls was holding a glass of red punch. Without a word the girl poured it all over Piper’s white dress.

“Everyone knows you shouldn’t wear white after Labor Day. What are you anyway? The results of all the recessive genes? I mean how can Prue be so cool and you be so weird?”

Paige was ready to fight with the girl, but remembered that she could be neither heard nor seen. She knew she didn’t have to fight though as she saw Prue step behind the mean girl and push her to the floor of the gym.

“Don’t you ever mess with my little sister again, Dawn, or you will be answering to me.”

Piper ran out of the gym crying. Paige and Melinda followed her and watched her run into the locker room. They found her sitting on a bench crying. Paige had never seen Piper look so defeated, so weak.

“She’s not like that now, Melinda. I guess getting picked on, made her stronger.”

“No, she did.”

Paige followed Melinda’s outstretched hand and watched as Prue entered the locker room door and immediately sat with her arm around her little sister.

“Piper, honey. Please don’t cry. Dawn is such a spoiled brat. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“Yes she does, Prue. I’m pathetic. I’m ugly, I’m a big baby, and I always have to depend on you to fight for me.”

“What? Are you serious? Piper, look at me. Come one now, look at me.”

Paige could see the tears still running down Piper’s cheeks as she looked up to face their oldest sister. She almost felt bad getting to look in on that part of their lives, but she knew there was a reason she was there.

“Prue, it’s true.”

“No it isn’t, Piper. You are the most incredible person I know. I’m completely amazed by you. Yeah, that’s right. Amazed. First of all, you are not ugly. You are in a stage in your life right now where you feel that way and where you have to wear these glasses and the braces, but that stage will end soon Piper and you will come out of your shell. You will break out of your cocoon and become the most incredible butterfly. You think Mom was pretty don’t you?”

“Of course. She was more than pretty.”

“Well, that just proves my point. You look exactly like her.”

Paige could tell Piper was blushing. She admired Prue for making Piper feel that special about herself.

“Now on to my second of all, you are not a big baby. You are a very compassionate person and, sure you’re sensitive, but those are great qualities. Who is the only person in the world that can stop Phoebe and I from arguing?”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. That takes a pretty strong person if you ask me. Smart too. Now Piper there might be a day when I’m not around. Like next year when I leave for college. I won’t be there all the time. And it’s going to be hard on all of us because we’re close. But it’s going to be good for you and Phoebe, because you guys need some time to figure out who you are without me. You know?”

Paige laughed at the look Piper gave Prue. She knew Prue had gotten to philosophical for even Piper.

“Can we just go home now, Prue?”

“Yeah we can. We can watch some old Christmas movie, curl up with Phoebe on the couch, make some popcorn and decorate the tree too.”

“You know what Prue?”

“What Piper?”

Paige listened as Prue and Piper exited the locker room.

“You’re the only reason I even like Christmas.”

Paige knew then what made Piper so strong and so determined not to forget Prue. And she knew why it had to be hard on her. She looked at Melinda who was drying a few solo tears from her eyes. Paige smiled warmly.

“Melinda, what about Phoebe? I can see why Piper needed Prue so much. She made her feel good about herself, but what about Phoebe. Why does she hate Christmas so much?”

“Ahhh, Phoebe has always loved Christmas. She was born with the spirit. I wouldn’t be surprised if she came into this world wailing to the tune of Jingle Bells. Christmas past for Phoebe was made better by Prue. That is true. But Prue has been absent from Phoebe’s life before during Christmas.”

“When she lived in New York?”

“Yes. And that Christmas was a very hard and lonely time for Phoebe. She felt much like you are feeling now. Look and see.”

Once again the world spun around and becoming louder in the distance was the sound of Elmo and Patsy’s “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.” Paige laughed as they materialized in a small run down, freezing apartment in New York. Her smile though quickly faded as she watched a roach crawl across the toe of her shoe.

“Eeww…Melinda where are we? This cannot be Phoebe’s apartment.”

“But it is. See?”

Paige looked to the couch where a pale Phoebe sat bundled up and tapping her toe to the music. She took in the sight of the pathetic tree, sparse in limbs and decorations. She frowned as she heard Phoebe talking to herself.

“Okay, Pheebs. It’s not that bad. So what if you are 3000 miles from home. It’s not a big deal. I mean sure you miss Piper, but Prue isn’t worth missing. She’s so mean anyway, and never believes anything I say. What would be the point? Besides, Grams is dead and I need to figure things out.”

“She had to rationalize herself to…herself?”

Melinda nodded. Paige returned her attention to the scene before her as she heard the phone ringing. Phoebe looked down at the roach.

“That must be Piper.” Phoebe muttered to the insect.

Quickly Phoebe turned up the radio and turned on the television as loud as it would go. The sound hurt Paige’s ears but she was curious to see what Phoebe was doing as Phoebe picked up the phone and laughed into the handset.

“Hello?”

Paige could only hear one side of the conversation.

“Oh hey Piper!”

“No, I’m not coming home for Christmas. I can’t Piper. I’m having a huge party. Can’t you hear them?”

“It doesn’t matter Piper, Prue could care less if I come home.”

“No. It is true, Piper. She hates me for whatever and that’s fine. I’m not going to waste my Christmas on a sister who would rather I didn’t exist.”

The words were hard for Paige to hear. She knew it must have been hard for Phoebe to say.

“Look, Piper. I don’t care if it takes ten more Christmases, I will not celebrate Christmas at home until Prue apologizes or at least until she can be civil.”

“What? Why should I apologize, she’s the one who accused me of sleeping with Roger and then made it virtually impossible to stay there after Grams died?!?”

“Maybe you’re right Piper, but not this year. Maybe next year, or the year after that. Until then Christmas isn’t worth celebrating.”

Phoebe slammed the phone down and Paige watched helplessly as she slid to the stained carpet on her knees and cried. She watched Phoebe cry and get angry. She could feel the remote control to the television fly past her head as the song on the radio changed from the “Grandma” song to “I’ll Be Home For Christmas.” Paige took Melinda’s hand.

The world spun again and Paige found herself back in the attic still holding Melinda’s hand.

“Let me guess, Prue never apologized and a Christmas of forgiveness never came.”

“Right and now…”

“And now Phoebe blames herself for Prue’s death and therefore for Piper’s misery.”

“Right, you catch on quickly dear.”

“Thanks, so I guess we’re done now and I can try to make it better somehow?”

“Not quite, you still have the present and future to deal with.”

“But I know why Prue is so pertinent to their Christmas misery.”

“Yes, but you don’t yet know why you will be so important to their Christmas happiness.”

Paige took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. She knew without looking that Melinda had disappeared. She opened the attic door and quietly walked down the stairs. She checked in on Phoebe and found her still in bed covered and warm.

She walked past Piper’s open door and knew that Piper must already be in the kitchen. She walked down the stairs and caught sight of herself leaving the manor.

“Bye, Piper. Don’t forget about today.”

“I won’t Paige. You and me, shopping for Phoebe at 2pm.”

“Right.”

Paige watched her present-self close the door and then turned her attention to Piper. She expected to see a scowl of disapproval. The scowl she always pictured Piper having after she left a room. The scowl of disappointment. But instead Piper was smirking. Then she was calling for Leo. Leo appeared in blue lights.

“What is it, honey, I was getting ready to help a charge in serious need.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Leo. I just wanted to know if you picked up Paige’s present for me yet?”

“Yep, I got it. I’m really glad you got that for her, too.”

“You know what we talked about last night, Leo?”

Paige thought about the conversation she had heard between the two of them. About her being wished away, she frowned.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Well I was thinking about it all night and then again in the shower this morning. And I came to the conclusion that Paige doesn’t deserve Phoebe, or me and she doesn’t deserve to be a Halliwell. Maybe I have been wishing her away.”

Paige felt the bite of rejection in her heart and as she was about to turn to go she heard Piper’s voice again.

“I’ve been wishing her away because she deserves better than this. She deserves better than all this unhappiness. She has this incredible spirit Leo and I’m just so afraid. I’m so afraid to…”

“Love her?”

“Yes.”

Paige felt a hand around hers and then once again her world was spinning. It stopped and she came to a landing in Phoebe’s room. She turned to find who her ghost was. A face she had seen all too often appeared before her.

“Cole?”

“Surprising, ain’t it? I’m your ghost of Christmas present.”

“You’re the ghost of Christmas Present? How in the world is that even possible? You aren’t even dead.”

“Well, half of me is. You remember Belthazor, don’t you?”

“Okay, forget the logistics of it all. How did you get the gig of Christmas Present?”

“Beats the hell out of me. All I know is I was at my apartment this morning and I disappeared from there and appeared here next to you in the kitchen and I just know what needs to be done. So, poof!”

Paige shifted nervously still standing in Phoebe’s room. She watched her older sister shift under the covers and groan slightly. Paige jumped a little as Phoebe opened her eyes.

“She can’t see or hear us.”

Paige nodded slightly indicating that she heard him, but her eyes were still transfixed on Phoebe. Phoebe sat up and moved to the edge of the bed where her feet dangled near the floor. Paige listened as Phoebe groaned to herself.

“Owww…my head is killing me. Thank God for Paige or I would have been on the foyer floor.”

Paige watched as Phoebe picked up a picture of Paige taken at P3. Phoebe traced the outline of her youngest sister and smiled. Again she spoke out loud unaware of the listeners.

“Paige, if I could only find the right words I’d tell you how thankful I am for you. If it weren’t for you, Piper would be without hope. She would have been a Fury if it weren’t for you. And I couldn’t even begin to explain how you’ve helped me.”

Paige turned to Cole who was smiling at his girlfriend.

“She can’t see you, remember, doofus boy?”

Cole blushed and looked at Paige again.

“Yeah, I know that. Look at her though, Paige. Can’t you tell how much she loves you?”

“I guess. I mean I know she must, but how do I know she loves me as a sister and not just an alternate on the Charmed Ones squad?”

“Phoebe loves often and easily Paige. But it’s the deeper love, like she has for Piper, Leo, me and Prue, that she has for you. Wait, you’ll see.”

Phoebe picked up the cordless phone next to her bed and began dialing. Paige watched the numbers she dialed and realized she was calling her cell phone. Again she listened to a one-sided conversation, seeing Phoebe much differently than she had in Christmas-past.

“Paige? Hey, it’s Phoebe.”

Paige tried not to answer as she listened to Phoebe talking to her present-self on the telephone.

“Listen. I just wanted to say thank you for tucking me in last night. I rarely drink like that but for some reason last night, I lost my head I guess.”

“Yeah I know I don’t have to explain Paige, but in a way I do. See, I felt as though I could drink so much last night that I wouldn’t…you know what? I don’t want to tell you this over the phone. Can I meet you for lunch today?”

“Okay, 12pm at?”

“Okay, at Frank’s Pizza it is.”

Time-traveling Paige felt her stomach roll at the mention of pizza. She knew she was hungry. She watched as Phoebe hung up the phone, got some Tylenol out of the bathroom and started the shower. She felt Cole’s hand around hers and once again the world was spinning.

When she and Cole settled once again she was staring at the outside of the manor.

“What, we couldn’t use the door to get here?”

Cole shook his head and had a dark expression on his face. He looked toward the manor and Paige took a closer look. To Paige, the manor seemed lonelier. She looked on the porch and there she saw Phoebe.

She ran to look at her sister closely and it was then that she saw the bottle of bourbon sitting next to Phoebe. She knew then that they were in a present that existed without her. She had not been there, so Phoebe had not made it to her bed. She hadn’t made it to the foyer. She had barely made it to the door. Phoebe reeked of alcohol.

Cole shook his head in sadness and took Paige’s hand again, however instead of a spinning world they walked straight through the wall of the manor and into the foyer. Cole led Paige into the living room.

Paige was saddened by the sight around her. There were no red and green decorations. There were no little porcelain Santa men. There were no stockings and no candy canes, no tree and no lights. Instead, there were pictures of Prue. Pictures of Prue were everywhere.

“I don’t get it Cole. Even without me in their lives they should have been able to move on after Prue’s death.”

“You don’t see it do you? They haven’t moved on even with you there, Paige.”

“Oh, yeah, thanks Cole, that’s making me feel better.”

“Yeah, but look around Paige. With you there they haven’t moved on, but at least they’ve moved forward. That’s the best step anyone can take. Look around. It’s a shrine to the dead.”

Paige nodded intending no disrespect to Prue. After all it had been her sister too, even if they had never met.

“Cole, what am I supposed to learn here?”

“A lot of things kid, a lot of things.”

“Yeah, I got that, but like what?”

Well, you need to figure out why you are important to them and see that for yourself. And you need to figure out how to reach out to them.”

“It feels like I’m doing all the work in these relationships, Cole.”

“Tell me about it. Look, just try to picture your life without them.”

“Okay, my life would be demon free, death free and filled with friends who I know like me for me and not for my magical powers.”

Cole looked at Paige with a raised eyebrow.

“What? Okay so I don’t have any friends and I never have, but still the other stuff is true.”

Cole shrugged in agreement, “Maybe Paige but you’ve only been around for a few months. You say Piper isn’t giving you the chance, but you aren’t giving them the chance to grieve and then to give you their undivided attention. You saw Phoebe in the Christmas Present with you there. She was smiling because of you. And Piper, she was smiling because she was happy she was going to surprise you for Christmas.”

“Okay, all that’s true, so if you can just tell me these things then why do I need to know about the Christmas-present where I don’t exist.”

“Let’s just say that the people in control of this spell want to drive their point home.”

“Oh yay.” Paige muttered sarcastically.

“So I guess I need to see Piper of the Christmas present without me in it.”

Cole nodded, “Take my hand.”

Paige scowled at Cole and then grabbed his hand. The world turned and twisted and again they were floating through time and space. Paige opened her eyes and looked around. They were in the middle of P3. From the back of the club she and Cole could hear arguing.

“Damn it Leo I don’t care. Get out of here now!”

“Piper, please. Why can’t you just try to give us a chance? To give your destiny…”

Paige jumped as Piper slammed a bottle down on the concrete floor and it shattered.

“Don’t say that. If you ever, ever say destiny again in my presence I will do much more than divorce you.”

Paige’s eyes were wide in fear. She had heard them argue before but never fight and never using the word divorce.

“Cole, I don’t understand, what does my presence have anything to do with Leo and Piper?”

“You gave her something to focus on, someone to fight for. She felt as though everyone else was stronger than she was and with you there she had someone she felt she needed to protect. It made her move forward. Not move on, but move forward. They’re still healing Paige, but you being there has made that pain they feel less heartbreaking.”

She closed her eyes again as Piper stormed out of the club. She opened them to find herself back in the attic.

“Oh thank God,” she whispered to the Book of Shadows, “One more tense to go.”

She looked toward the attic door and wondered who her guide would be. And more so wondered how far into the future she had gone.

She crept silently down the stairs and could hear the laughter of small children. She thought for a second that she had traveled to the past again, but as she rounded the corner into the living room she knew it was the future. A tree, bigger than any she had seen, filled the corners of the living room, piled high with presents. The lights danced as classic Christmas songs floated melodically through the air.

She tried to figure out who everyone was in the living room. She recognized Piper and Leo and knew that the small girl of 8 had to be their daughter. Her hair was blonde and she had Piper’s smile. She noticed Cole holding a small bundle of blue blanket in his arms and Phoebe holding onto a little 3-year-old girl in her lap. Standing next to the tree was a beautiful 5-year-old girl. Paige wondered whom she belonged to and then worried when she didn’t see herself in the scene.

“Go ahead, it’s okay Lillian. You can hang the last ornament.”

The child looked longingly toward the living room door.

Paige noticed a tear in Phoebe’s eye and then saw a tear in Piper’s as well. She wondered if Lillian was her little girl and if so why did she look at the door as though there was a mother missing that would never come home.

Her answer came when she saw Lillian’s eyes light up. Paige looked toward the door and saw herself 9 years older. She was happy. She could tell by the laugh lines forming at her eyes. She watched herself pick up Lillian and hug her hard.

“Hey baby girl, you didn’t think I remembered did you?”

Lillian shook her head no. Time-traveling Paige looked on with curiosity and began to wonder where her ghost of Christmas-future was.

“Well, it’s on the porch, go see for yourself.”

Paige followed the little girl and the entire family onto the porch. There was a shiny red bicycle with training wheels. Lillian jumped up and down as only a child can do on a Christmas morning.

“Can I ride it now? Can I? Can I?

“No, right now we have to open all the presents. Christmas is for everyone.”

Paige smiled at her future self and was glad that she was a good mother. She wondered if there was ever a husband. She looked again at Piper and Phoebe and noticed how lovingly they looked at Lillian and future-Paige. She listened as her future-self questioned Piper and Phoebe about their tears.

“Well, we were just thinking about how incredible everything looks.” Phoebe said obviously covering something up.

Piper joined in, “Yeah, and honestly we were watching Lillian holding that image and, I guess we were both wondering what it was like for you growing up at Christmas time. We always had each other and Prue and you had only you.”

Future-Paige smiled wide, “Actually, it wasn’t too bad. But I can tell you that living here with you guys and having such a large family for Lillian, well, that’s what Christmas Spirit is really about. The love.”

“Amen sister,” Phoebe said as she embraced future-Paige.

The traveling-Paige continued to watch from the corner of the room as the children opened their presents and as her future self interacted with Melinda. She saw the bond she had formed with the first-born child of the next Halliwell generation. She tickled Melinda and then the two of them, with Lillian, sang Jingle Bell Rock in goofy voices. As their laughter died down, the room became silent and little Melinda took the time to speak to her Aunt Paige.

“You know what, Aunt Paige.”

“What baby?”

“You’re the only reason I like Christmas.”

Paige stood in the corner and tears came to her eyes at the same time they rushed to her future-self’s eyes. She felt a presence next to her and knew her ghost of the future had arrived.

“Feels pretty good when they say that to you doesn’t it?”

Paige turned her head slowly to meet the face that spoke softly and sincerely. She came eyes to eyes with her oldest sister. Blue eyes soft and loving, skin perfect and smile dauntingly familiar.

“Prue. I had a feeling I’d be seeing you sometime.”

Prue shook her head, smiled and walked away from the scene. Paige followed taking one last glance at her future daughter and then followed the lithe form of her oldest sister to the attic. Once there, she watched Prue sit on the old sofa by the attic window and look longingly at the book of shadows.

“Things you want for Christmas?” Paige asked knowing what Prue wanted.

“Yeah, one last Christmas with them. Piper and Phoebe.”

Paige shook her head knowingly and sat next to the ghost of her oldest sister.

“Why am I here, Prue. How did my spell go wrong?”

“You actually haven’t cast a spell Paige.”

“But I was in the attic and I spoke the words and Melinda said…”

“That you cast the spell, yeah, yeah I know. It’s the spirits of Christmas.”

Paige looked at Prue with confusion.

“I know it’s hard to understand Paige, but they want you to see what you would be missing but more so what our sisters would be missing if not for you. I did all I could with my short time there and when it came to Christmas, well let’s just say near the end I didn’t really make it a happy time. I should have apologized to Phoebe and held her and made sure she knew how much I loved her. And Piper, well, I don’t know how to fix Piper. She’s sad, but I don’t want her to be that way. I want her to be so happy that she can’t stand it. Because when I’m watching from way up there all I feel is how torn up my sisters are.”

“Yeah, they’re still not taking it too well.”

“Not just them Paige. You too. I see how long it’s taking for Piper and Phoebe to completely open their hearts to you. It’s not easy for them to do that. But that’s what you need more than anything isn’t it?”

“I don’t know. I guess. Look, I’ve been without love on Christmas before, what’s one more year.”

“Hold on, Paige, they love you. Don’t you know that? They love you very much. They just can’t show you that right now. Especially at Christmas when all they’ve been thinking about is what they’ve lost. But stick around Paige, show them what they’ve gained in you because if they have to go through life without you, it won’t be a long one.”

“What are you talking about Prue?”

“Well, you just saw how happy everyone will be someday right?”

Paige nodded her head and waited for the next revelation.

“You haven’t visited the alternative future yet.”

“The one without me?”

It was Prue’s turn to nod. She took Paige’s hand and together stepped into a spiraling vortex. They landed on their feet. Paige looked around and quickly made note of the cold air and the fog. She could feel the grass under her shoes and the wind sent shivers down her spine. She knew they were in the cemetery again. The cemetery where their mother was buried.

Paige looked long and hard and tried to make the words she was reading mean something else, but no matter how hard she blinked or wiped at the tears in her eyes, the name on the tombstone read the same: Phoebe Halliwell.

“But why, what happened? Prue, please tell me this isn’t real.”

“If you aren’t there then this is real. This is what becomes of our sisters without you there.”

“But how?”

“Easy. There’s no power of three. Piper gives up and turns over their powers. The Source kills Phoebe out of spite.”

“What about Piper?”

Paige followed Prue’s eyes to see the woman dressed in a long hooded coat walking slowly toward the tombstones. Paige swallowed as she recognized Piper. She also recognized the sadness in Piper’s face, but she realized that the sadness was greater than she had ever seen it.

“She quit everything. She moved to the country and she told Leo to stay away from her.”

“Children?”

“No, a battle with a demon left her unable to have any.”

Paige could feel her jaw drop as she took in the events of the possible future.

“Prue, I don’t want any of this to happen. I want to be there with them. I want to be there for them. I want to be sure they don’t wish me away.”

“They don’t what?”

“Nothing. Just get me back home, please.”

Prue smiled softly.

“I would Paige, but do you know what you’re to do when you get back?”

“Hell yeah, I’m going to put the Christmas back into my sisters, before it kills us.”

Prue laughed as she disappeared leaving Prue once again in the attic. Paige hoped that she was back in the present and everything was as she had left it before she said the spell. She opened the door and crept downstairs. She noticed the sun was beginning to rise, and light slowly streamed into the windows.

Opening Phoebe’s door, she was careful not to make any noise. She was startled when she didn’t see Phoebe there. She quickly walked across the hall and opened Piper’s door. Again a room with no sleeping people.

Paige’s heart began to thump loudly. She turned on Piper’s light and that’s when she noticed something shining on the floor. She stooped down and picked up the silver object. Her brow creased in confusion. In her hand was a small piece of silver tinsel. She turned and look down the hall. Turning on the light she saw more tinsel leading toward the stairs.

It was then that she heard the noise coming from down the stairs.

Paige crept silently downstairs and could hear her sisters’ voices in the living room.

“Shh…Phoebe hush. I think she’s coming.”

“What do you think she was doing in the attic all night?”

“Beats me, now shut it!” Piper whispered harshly.

Paige smiled in interest at what her older sisters were doing.

“Phoebe, Piper, what are you guys doing down here and what is all this tinsel on the floor for?”

Paige rounded the corner into the living room and stopped frozen in her tracks at the sight before her. Piper and Phoebe were both covered in silver tinsel. Their faces were covered with the grins of childlike amusement.

“Good morning, Paige!” Piper yelled. Phoebe joined her sister in wishing Paige a good morning.

“What’s going on?? Paige asked intrigued.

Phoebe sighed and Piper laughed.

“Well,” Piper said, “We’re helping you out a little.”

“By what? Drowning yourself in tinsel.”

“Sort of,” Phoebe responded.

“Yeah, unlike you, we haven’t indulged in the Christmas spirit. And we thought since this is your first Christmas as a Halliwell…”

“…We’d make sure it was a good one for you.”

“So you cover yourself in tinsel?”

Piper and Phoebe nodded.

“New family dynamics equals new traditions,” Piper explained.

Paige nodded and then walked to the remaining pile of tinsel. She grabbed a handful and placed it on Phoebe’s head.

“There, that’s better. You missed a spot.”

She laughed as Phoebe and Piper threw tinsel at her. Paige felt good but she knew that her trip through the phases of time wasn’t for nothing. She knew there was still work to be done. Paige wanted Piper and Phoebe to love Christmas for themselves, not just because she loved it.

“Hey,” Paige said finally collapsing on the couch. “I need to finish shopping for a certain someone’s Christmas present. Piper do you want to go shopping with me today?”

“Uh, me? Yeah, sure.”

Phoebe looked hurt. “Why can’t I go?”

“Hello, Phoebe,” Piper admonished sarcastically, “Paige has to finish shopping for you.”

“Oh, I knew that.”

Piper shook her head in amazement. Phoebe shrugged and Paige laughed. Paige was feeling a little better about their situation and in her mind a plan was forming. She would be sure it started with the events she saw in the visits from the ghosts of Christmas.

“Okay, well, I have to get ready for work. I only have to go in for a half day today. Something about me working too much overtime and I need to take a little personal time.”

“Okay, so do you want to meet at 2pm?” Piper looked at her watch.

“Sounds good. Right now, though. I am going to go up and take a shower, and get ready for work.”

Paige left Phoebe and Piper in the living room smiling and throwing tinsel at one another. In the shower she thought about the events the ghosts of Christmas had shown her. She knew that as she showered, Piper and Leo were in the kitchen discussing how hard it is for Piper to love her. She knew that Phoebe had crawled back in bed nursing a still-there hangover, despite the playfulness of the early morning. She knew that as she worked her cell phone would ring and Phoebe would ask her to lunch. She knew all these things would happen because she was still there. She just wasn’t sure how she was going to get her family from transition present time to the good future she saw.

She stopped thinking about it as she got dressed and wandered downstairs to the kitchen. She met Piper in the kitchen, reminded her about their 2pm shopping excursion and left as she saw Leo’s blue lights behind her in the kitchen. She knew what conversation was about to take place and she knew that she should feel good that Piper was trying her best to let her in. But so far Piper’s best hadn’t been good enough. Paige was more determined than ever to make Piper love her.

As she drove to work she waited for her cell phone to ring. She knew that Phoebe would be waking up again soon with a horrendous headache. As she pulled into the parking lot of work her cell phone began to ring to the tune of Jingle Bells. Paige loved her Nokia Cell phone. She pushed the answer button and placed the small lightweight object against her ear.

“Winter Wonderland here, how can I help you?”

“Paige? Hey, it’s Phoebe.”

Paige had known that before the phone had rung.

“Hey Pheebs, what’s up?”

Paige already knew what was about to be said but she listened again.

“Listen. I just wanted to say thank you for tucking me in last night. I rarely drink like that but for some reason last night, I lost my head I guess.”

“It’s okay, Phoebe. You don’t have to explain.”

“Yeah I know I don’t have to explain Paige, but in a way I do. See, I felt as though I could drink so much last night that I wouldn’t…you know what? I don’t want to tell you this over the phone. Can I meet you for lunch today?”

“Sure, but don’t forget I’m meeting Piper at 2pm. How about at noon?”

“Okay, 12pm at?”

“At Frank’s Pizza?”

“Okay, at Frank’s Pizza it is.”

“Okay, I’ll see you there.”

Paige hung up the phone and realized that she never said ‘I love you’ to Phoebe or Piper. And she knew they had never said it to her. She wondered if that time would ever come. She needed that moment more than anything. She needed the moment when her sisters would not just love her, but acknowledge to her that they loved her all along.

*************************

It had been too hard for Paige to concentrate at work so she left earlier than she had planned. She still had an hour until she was supposed to meet Phoebe. She decided to walk through some of the shops near Frank’s Pizza. She wanted to find Piper something special, something that would mean everything to both of them. As she perused the expensive and inexpensive things she realized that there was nothing on any store shelf that would mean that much. But still, Paige wanted to buy Piper something for Christmas that was special.

Paige glanced at her watch and was happy to see that it was time to meet Phoebe. She walked the half-block to Frank’s Pizza and saw her sister standing in front of the building wearing sunglasses. Paige smirked knowing how the sun must be killing Phoebe’s eyes.

“Hey kid, where’ve you been?”

“Hey Pheebs. I was just looking in some stores down the street.”

“Buy me anything?”

“Nosey. No I didn’t buy you anything. Do you see any packages?”

“You know what Paige, you’re a smart-ass just like our big sister.”

“Well, at least we have one thing in common.”

“Actually you two are a lot more alike than you think.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Paige smiled as she followed Phoebe into the restaurant and sat across from her in a booth.

“Hey, Paige, got an offer for you.”

Paige eyes Phoebe suspiciously, “Yeah? What’s that?”

“Tell me what Piper got me for Christmas and I’ll tell you what she got you.”

Paige tried to maintain a serious face. She could tell that Phoebe really did love Christmas even if that guilt tugged at the back of her mind. She saw a flicker in Phoebe’s eyes and burst out laughing.

“You have no idea what Piper got me.”

Phoebe frowned, and Paige laughed harder. “How do you know?”

“Because I know.”

They were interrupted by the waiter taking their order. After he left to put in for their small extra cheese pizza, Phoebe continued.

“Fine, be that way.” Phoebe tried to pretend to frown but her smile was too vivid for even her to hide. “You know what Paige, you ‘re making this Christmas the most fun. Thank you.”

Paige knew the conversation was about to take a turn to the serious side.

“No need to thank me, Phoebe. I lo…” Paige stopped herself. She was determined not to be the first to say the word, the first to admit it. She needed to hear them say it first. Instead Paige decided to take a chance and direct the conversation to what was really bothering Phoebe about Christmas.

“You feel guilty don’t you, Phoebe?”

“What? What do you mean?”

“It’s why Christmas is sad for you. I mean, you’re putting on a good act right now, for my benefit but the truth is this time of year hurts you. It makes you sad. Sad because it was Christmas when you realized that it was possible to be cold and alone and to really miss your family. It’s Christmas that reminds you of an apology that never came, isn’t it?”

Paige hoped she hadn’t pushed too far too quickly. She noticed the tears in Phoebe’s eyes. It did hurt her, Paige knew, but it was something they needed to talk about. To Paige’s surprise, Phoebe was more than ready to talk.

“How did you know, Paige? Never mind, we’re witches, there’s no telling. Yeah, you’re right on all accounts. But you left out that it’s Christmas when I remember that one third of my family is dead. I have no mother, no grandmother, no Prue. I think about the things I’ve missed the most about them and Christmas just doesn’t seem that important anymore, Paige. But Paige, I look at you, and I see how your face lights up when you see a house decorated like something out of Christmas Vacation. I see your smile when you hear a child laugh while sitting with Santa or when you’re wrapping a present. I see all that and slowly, I’m remembering the good things about Christmas. It’s not about what you’re missing, but what you have. And yeah, there’s an apology I’ll never get, a forgiveness that I’m seeking, but if that never comes it won’t be the end of the world.”

Paige thought about Christmas future and nodded her head.

“You know what, Phoebe, you’re right about the apology not coming, of course with our lives who knows. But that forgiveness will come if you ask for it. You have nothing to be forgiven for as I see it, but until you hear it from her, you will never be fully happy and complete.”

“Yeah, but how in the world do I talk to Prue to ask for her forgiveness?”

“You and I both know that the person you want and need to ask for forgiveness is Piper.”

Phoebe blinked back her surprise, her true feelings. Paige watched as Phoebe shook her head in agreement.

“Paige, how can I ask for her forgiveness when she won’t talk about it at all.”

“Okay, well…you know how much losing Prue hurt you?”

Phoebe nodded again.

“Well, from what I’ve heard and seen Phoebe you’ve always been the independent go-getter. You didn’t need her as much as Piper did. So the loss, although equal in pain to the two of you, is really more for Piper. She was never away from Prue, she never tried to make it on her own. She depended on Prue for a lot more than sisterly advice. They were best friends.”

“I was the youngest, they had more time together.”

“Hey, imagine how I feel with you and Piper. And imagine if we lost Piper tomorrow. Imagine the pain you would feel. How horrible and heart-destroying it would be. I’d be in pain too. I just wouldn’t feel it as deeply as you do. That’s Piper with Prue. See?”

Phoebe looked at Paige as though lightening had just struck. Paige could tell that Phoebe finally understood what she needed to do.

As they finished up their lunch and 2pm loomed near, Paige hugged Phoebe goodbye and told her to think about everything they had talked about. Phoebe agreed. Paige felt good although sad about the conversation.

“One down, one to go ‘til a Merry Christmas.”

Paige felt the mist on her face as she stared thoughtfully into the fountain in the center of the mall. It was cool and gave her a chill, but one that relaxed instead of tightened her muscles. She neither saw nor felt Piper’s presence behind her. She breathed in and exhaled slowly, audibly and turned around. She was face to face with her oldest sister.

“Oh, Geez! Piper? You scared me!”

“Sorry Paige, I just saw you staring into space here and you looked so peaceful and so, I don’t know, I just didn’t want to bother you yet.”

“Are you serious? You’re never a bother to me.”

Paige watched Piper’s face and thought she saw a twinge of guilt. It quickly disappeared as Piper let a smile creep across her face.

“So little sister. Are you ready to try to satisfy Phoebe’s insatiable need for all things new?”

“Always.” Paige said, as she thought about the one thing Phoebe really wanted.

Paige began to walk alongside Piper and was stunned as her oldest sister slipped a hand into her own. It was awkward at first. As though Piper was unsure of her ability to hold Paige’s hand. Then as though everything was going to be okay, Piper’s hand tightened its grasp on Paige’s hand as they walked toward the first store.

“Paige, I’m really glad you asked me to do this. It means a lot that I can spend some time with you.”

Paige blushed under her sister’s watchful and caring eye. There was a resistance in Piper’s face. Paige could tell Piper was fighting everything she was feeling, but the truth was evident in her always-revealing eyes. Paige was beginning to see the light of love gleaming in her oldest sister’s eyes.

The appearance of love in Piper’s being scared and overjoyed Paige. She fell silent as she watched Piper search through racks of clothes. As they moved from store to store with no luck, Piper, frustrated, took Paige’s hand and led her to the ice cream stand.

“Piper, it’s December, isn’t a little too cold for ice cream?”

“Paige. It’s never too cold for ice cream.”

As they sat down, Piper seemed content with her triple scoops of chocolate in a chocolate dipped cone. Paige tried not to laugh as she ate her own double scoop of orange sherbet in a cup. She waited for Piper to speak. She hated to be the first one to talk when she was with Piper. After a few minutes of sugar-filled silence, Piper broke the silence.

“I don’t know, Paige.”

“Don’t know what?”

“What to get Phoebe. I mean, when I ask her she seems so hesitant to tell me like she thinks I don’t want to give her anything, you know?”

Paige wondered if the time had come to break out the big Christmas-spirit ammo. She decided the time would be now or never.

“Piper, I know exactly what you can get her.”

“Really? Because, right now, any ideas would be extremely helpful.”

Paige took in a deep breath trying to figure out how to word her revelations. She figured to the point and honesty was the best path to take.

“She told me what she really wants for Christmas.”

“And that is?”

“Forgiveness.”

Paige could read the confusion and then the possibility of realization on Piper’s face. She waited for a response.

“Forgiveness? I don’t get it, Paige. What did she do that she thinks she needs forgiveness?”

“It’s about Prue’s death.” Paige winced as she saw the quick retreat Piper’s heart made. She knew she was pushing her relationship with her sister to the edge but she knew for the sake of their sanity and their Christmas spirit she had to do something. She refused to say nothing and have Piper alone, surrounded by death later in life.

“What about Prue’s death Paige? Does Phoebe blame herself for Prue’s death?”

“No, not really, but she thinks you do. It’s your forgiveness she really wants, and needs.”

“She told you this?”

“Sort of, we figured it out together.”

“What? Together? Like what, over lunch or something.”

“Something like that. Please Piper don’t be upset.”

“Don’t be upset? Paige, you just told me that my sister thinks I blame her for Prue’s death, when that couldn’t be farther from the truth. You know that. You were there that night in the tomb after I had turned into a Fury. You know I blame Prue.”

“But you should only blame the Source, not either of your sisters. Do you want to hear what I think and have to say?”

“You’re going to tell me anyway aren’t you?”

Paige shrugged indicating she was, “Okay, listen up. This is Christmas…”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Don’t interrupt me. It’s Christmas and the reason all of this is coming to light is because of me. It’s a long story and I can’t tell you all of it but I can tell you that I cast a spell last night.”

Paige could see the concern and anger mixing in Piper’s furrowed brow.

“Don’t look at me like that. I had good reason.”

“What kind of spell, Paige?”

Paige inhaled deeply and found her voice, which always became weak and shaky when in a confrontation with Piper.

“It was a spell to disappear, to no longer exist.”

“What? Why, Paige?”

Paige was stressed by the sadness and concern in Piper’s voice but she was relieved that the anger had disappeared.

“Okay, last night, I decorated the tree and I was sitting there basking in the joy of Christmas. Then you came in and I could tell you were in a bad mood, again. And I knew you didn’t really want to share the Christmas spirit. And then Phoebe came home, drunk. So I carried her upstairs and put her in the bed. And in her drunken state she said that Christmas sucks and that she wished things were exactly how they used to be last year.”

“Paige, I’m sorry she said that, but she was drunk.”

“Drinking brings about honesty, you know? But what she said didn’t hurt nearly half as much as what I heard next coming from your room.”

Paige could see the guilt again in Piper’s face, the love that had been trying to break through was once again dark.

“Yeah, I heard you talking to Leo. I didn’t mean to, but I did. And I heard you tell him that you couldn’t answer a question about wishing me away.”

“Paige, this morning I told him…”

“Wait, I’m not through. I was sad. I was more than sad. The only thing you guys want for Christmas, the only person who could bring your Christmas spirit to you is gone forever, so what good am I with all my, what was it you said? Oh yeah ‘Yule Tide greetings and fa-la-la-la’s.’ So, I thought about it and went to the Book for answers. I saw a spell that would make me vanish. After all you guys were already wishing me away, I figured I might as well help you out.”

“But Paige, we…we didn’t mean that.”

“I know, but please listen to the story. I said my goodbyes to you guys early this morning as you slept.”

“You said that I never even gave you a chance. That you weren’t her and that’s all that mattered to me.”

“You were awake?”

Piper shrugged neither admitting nor denying that she was awake during Paige’s goodbye speech.

“You were awake and you didn’t stop me?”

“I knew you wouldn’t be successful with whatever spell you were trying because Prue’s gone. She isn’t coming back. There isn’t a spell in that book that I haven’t tried, believe me.”

Paige nodded and continued, “Well, you’re right. It didn’t work and went strangely awry.”

“How so?”

Paige could tell Piper was intrigued, a little upset with her, but more concerned and regretful than anything. Paige realized that she was becoming very good at reading Piper’s emotions.

“Well, a big tornado came and I ended up back in the attic, only it was a weird attic. I went downstairs and there was some old fart in the kitchen and you, Phoebe and Prue were there and you were all very young.”

Piper eyed Paige suspiciously.

“What? You don’t believe me? You can turn into a werewolf thingy, be brought back from the dead, travel to the past and turn into a carcinogenic sh