Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, you know who does. i just like writing about them!

“I HATE YOU” she ran to her room, deliberately making a lot of noise. As the door was slammed, the whole house seemed to tremble.
“UGH,” the final scream before she fell to her bed, burying her head deep in the pillow. The tears came; they’d been suppressed long enough. She grabbed the nearby remote, blasting out her favourite music.
Downstairs her parents listened. The loud angry music reflecting the anger she felt. They were at a loss, their little girl was incredibly confused, perhaps even unhappy.

Paige lay down and cried incessantly, to her it seemed everyone hated her. Deep inside she knew she had been unreasonable, it had been her to cause the latest fight with her parents, but what thirteen year old would admit that?

Reaching out she clung tightly to the tattered teddy bear; Paige had no idea who had given her the bear, as far as she knew it was just another birthday present from an aunt or uncle. But this bear was special. He was her confidant; with the music blaring she felt safe enough to talk to the bear, venting her frustrations.

Eventually Paige rose, she moved to her desk, taking a fresh writing page, she began to compose a letter. This was a regular occurrence. Paige had a secret stash of letters, some to her birth mother, some to her own parents. Never did one reach the mail. She wrote these letters for herself.

“Dear mom”

I know how much you hate me, and I’m sorry.
I do love you, more than anything in this world, I even love dad, even though he is constantly yelling at me. But I know neither of you love or care for me. I want you to find me a foster home, I don’t want to go on living here, I’m so unhappy, (The tears stained the page as they fell). I’ve tried so hard to make you love me and to make you proud of me, I wish I’d been successful. My birth mother hated me, she didn’t want me, and I don’t think either of you want me. I’m sorry I’m so hard to love, I’m sorry I am such a horrible person. I wish you two could have had your own children, I think then you both would have been happier instead of making do with me.

I love you, and I’ll miss you

Paige

The letter went straight into the box with all the others. Paige knew these letters were harsh, but at the time she felt strongly enough to write them.

She got to thinking about her birth mother. Paige was always curious, but always too afraid to ask her parents in fear of hurting their feelings. Truth be told she loved them, she couldn’t imagine life any other way. She had long ago convinced herself that if her birth mother hadn’t given her up for adoption, she’d never have known the friends she has now, she’d never have met her wonderful parents.
She found it difficult to love her birth mother, her parents never hid the adoption from her, she’d known about it before she could even understand it. It had always been instilled in her that her birth mother had loved her, and that it had taken a lot of love to give her up, to admit she couldn’t handle the responsibilities and pressures of motherhood. When Paige was fighting with her family, she found this difficult to comprehend, but when she was of a clear frame of mind, she understood.

A few weeks later, Paige turned fourteen, her mother knocked on her bedroom door
“Come in”
“Paige, sweetie, I want to give you this, I hadn’t planned to show it to you until you were sixteen, but I think you’re mature enough for it now”
Paige eyed the envelope suspiciously “What’s in it?”
“its from the adoption agency, its addressed to you. I don’t know what’s in it”
Paige reluctantly took the sealed envelope, she made no move to open it, her mother took the hint and left her to be alone

Slowly and carefully she opened it, meticulously so as to not rip any of the treasured contents.
First she read the letter, from her biological mother, Patti.
Paige felt anger as she digested the words, three older sisters. All understanding vanished, this woman was ready for motherhood, hell she already was one. She ached to rip up the letter, but just couldn’t go through with it. Once again the key turned in the lock, the music was switched on, and the teddy came out. “How could she do it to me, how could she give me away but keep the other three, it makes no sense”

After she’d calmed down considerably, she got to thinking about her sisters. She’d forever longed for an older sister, but had never once thought it a real possibility, after all most children who are given up for adoption are the first children. She fell asleep imagining the life she was meant to have, imagining her sisters, wondering if they knew about her

When she woke up she folded the letter neatly, and put it back in its envelope, and felt something else in there as she did. It was a picture of three little girls, Prue, Piper and Phoebe. Paige couldn’t help but notice how happy they all looked. She traced the outline of their faces with her little finger, trying to pick out any resemblances to her. This was the first time in her short life that she’d been able to grasp any notion of where she came from.

The years went by, that was the last letter she ever wrote to her mother, she understood better now. There was nothing she could do about finding her sisters until she turned 18. That was the law, but she fully intended on seeking them out as soon as she reached said age.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Now here she sat in the Halliwell manor, she did find her family, even if she was too late to meet her mother, grandmother or oldest sister. The past year had been eventful, to say the least, it made her grateful to have found at least two members of her incredible family. For such a young person she had lost so much.

Phoebe entered the room, hugging her crying sister from behind
“What’s up Paige?”
“Nothing” she lied, Phoebe saw her clutching a letter
“Who’s the letter from?’
“Me” Paige answered honestly, she extended her arm to allow her newfound sister to read it. Phoebe took it, tears falling as she read
“Paige did you really feel this way?”
“No, that was me being selfish. I was thirteen; as far as I was concerned I was hard done by. I’d had a major fight with my dad, and of course I blamed him”
“What was the fight about?”
“He caught me smoking” Paige felt stupid telling the truth, she didn’t even know how she’d blamed him, how could she it was her who’d been in the wrong. Phoebe just nodded, understandingly, she held her little sister tight, wanting to make the pain vanish.

THE END