DISCLAIMER: I don't own anyone who you recognize


The song, which this fiction is based upon, was written and sung by Fiona Apple, thus she owns it, not me.
Author’s Note: This is set during the Phoebe/Roger incident, and I have changed the order of some events, which you will probably recognize.

I tell you how I feel, but you don’t care
I say tell me the truth, but you don’t dare
You say love is a hell you cannot bear
And I say gimme mine back and then go there - for all I care
I got my feet on the ground and I don’t go to sleep to dream
You got your head in the clouds and you’re not at all what you seem
This mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways
So don’t forget what I told you, don’t come around, I got my own hell to raise
I have never been so insulted in all my life
I could swallow the seas to wash down all this pride
First you run like a fool just to be at my side
And now you run like a fool, but you just run to hide, and I can’t abide
I got my feet on the ground and I don’t go to sleep to dream
You got your head in the clouds and you’re not at all what you seem
This mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways
So don’t forget what I told you, don’t come around, I got my own hell to raise
Don’t make it a big deal, don’t be so sensitive
We’re not playing a game anymore; you don’t have to be so defensive
Don’t you plead me your case, don’t bother to explain
Don’t even show me your face, ‘cuz it’s a crying shame
Just go back to the rock from under which you came
Take the sorrow you gave and all the stakes you claim -
And don’t forget the blame
I got my feet on the ground, and I don’t go to sleep to dream
You got your head in the clouds and you’re not at all what you seem
This mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways
So don’t forget what I told you, don’t come around, I got my own hell to raise

Prue - 25
Piper - 23
Phoebe - 20

Prue merrily walked into the apartment she and Piper shared. She slung her briefcase carelessly next to the couch and went into the kitchen - the smell of a casserole emanating through the open door told her Piper was in there.
"Hey Piper," she said, jumping onto the kitchen counter and swinging her legs.
"Someone’s happy," Piper observed, pouring herself a glass of wine.
Prue simply held out her left hand, flashing a gorgeous diamond engagement ring in Piper’s face.
"Roger?" Piper asked, her smile wide.
Prue nodded. "Can we ditch the wine and go straight for the champagne?" She asked cheekily.
Piper immediately threw her wine down the sink and broke open a magnum of champagne.
"Congratulations, Prue, you really deserve this," she said as they clinked their glasses together. The two sisters went into a huge rant concerning the wedding; date, place and most important, the dress.
An hour later, they were eating the wonderful casserole Piper had been preparing. Suddenly the telephone rang. Prue jumped up and answered.
"Hello?"
"Prue, it’s Phoebe, I think you two should get over here. "
"Phoebe what’s wrong? What’s happened?"
"It’s Grams. She had a heart attack. I’m at the hospital with her now. "
"Oh I’m so sorry, we’ll be over there in a few minutes."
Prue put the phone back on the cradle and relayed the situation to a worried Piper. As soon as Piper heard the words "heart attack", she was out of the door in a flash.
They raced down the hospital hallways until they found Phoebe. She was shaking, her face was red and puffy and tear tracks coursed her delicate skin. Prue and Piper immediately enveloped her in a warm embrace. They held her while she cried and sobbingly told them the details of the accident. She had made her grandmother angry by telling her that she wished she had a different family. She had no idea what her words would cause.

1 YEAR LATER.
After that day, Prue and Piper had moved back into the manor so that they could be there for both Grams and Phoebe. In the beginning, it was good. Everyone got along, making an effort just like a happy family. That all changed on one, single, pivotal day. Penny would be away for two weeks, visiting Aunt Gail. Prue got up as usual in the box room she had volunteered to take. It was the spare room but with two sisters moving back in, there was a lack of space, and some one had to take the box room. So she got the fluffy end of that lollipop.
She sleepily rose from the bed she slept in as a child, and stumbled into the bathroom, thankful that that day was work-free. Everything was going fine and to make the day even better, she decided to take herself out shopping, on Roger’s credit card.
Phoebe got up from the couch at lunchtime to answer the ringing doorbell.
"Oh hey, Roger. Prue’s not here at the moment."
"When will she be back?" he answered.
‘What a slime, I can’t understand why Prue’s marrying the guy’, Phoebe thought.
"I don’t know."
"Ah, that’s risky. " he said, staring Phoebe straight in the eye.
"What’s risky?" ‘What a freak!’
"She could walk in on you and me, under the covers. " he raised his eyes suggestively.
"Bye, Roger," Phoebe tried to close the door in his face, but he put a hand around the door, and was able to push it open.
"I thought Prue was the one for me, until I met you. Phoebe, you’re so beautiful. so fresh, so. sexy. "
"Get out of my house you creep!"
He grabbed her by the wrists.
"What the hell’s going on here?" Prue stammered angrily at her sister and her fiancé.
"Uh. Phoebe came onto me!" Roger let go of Phoebe’s wrist and pointed to her like a child.
"Phoebe! That’s my fiancé. how could you?" Tears were quickly streaming down her cheeks as she barely whispered the words at her sister.
"I didn’t. He came onto me. " Phoebe stopped when she realized that she was fighting a losing battle. Prue glared at Phoebe, narrowly missing the way Roger smiled back and forth between the two sisters.
"Phoebe don’t lie! Roger wouldn’t come on to you. He loves me. right?" She looked at Roger; her questioning eyes matched her words.
"Of course I do. With all my heart," he spoke simply, looking Prue right in the eye. To finish off his grand display, he ended on "And I would never do anything like that."
Phoebe couldn’t stand it any longer. She held back her tears and ran from the house, letting them go when she was safely at the end of the street. She ran to the pier, where she sat for hours, simply throwing stones in the water. How could Prue choose a man over her sister? Phoebe had never liked Roger, and Prue had always put it down to plain jealousy.
Piper paced the length of the living room, raging at her older sister.
"Where did she go Prue?" she demanded of her.
"I-I don’t know. I rang all her friends. She can’t have gone far, she has no money on her person."
"Thank you for pointing that out for me. If you were seriously worried you would get in that car and go looking for her yourself."
"You know what?" Prue stood and collected her car keys from the hook and started towards the door. She peeked through the windows in the door "It’s really coming down out there. Perhaps you should take your car too and look for her." With that, Prue left to drive around the streets of San Francisco, Piper rushing from the door shortly afterwards.
Phoebe sat, mulling over the events of those few short, hellish and enigmatic minutes. What was Roger’s reason for doing this? Who would actually hurt their fiancé by trying to influence their younger sister into an affair? She let the tears fall until the stars began to shine down on the water, their reflection made visible in the rippling waves by the bright, icy moon. Gradually her mind drifted, and she realized just how late the time was, the hours of concentration causing immense fatigue. Running out of the house in such a rush meant that she had forgotten to bring any cash with which she could catch a cab home. She silently cursed three people, herself, her sister and Roger, as she stood up, stiff and cold, as the rain began to hammer down on the beach, causing small craters in the soft white sand. She began to run home, but the fatigue over came her and she had to stop to a walking pace after a few minutes.
She arrived home forty-five minutes later. Where were her sisters? Well that was just peachy! They knew the circumstances, and yet Prue was probably at Roger’s house, and Piper could be with her new flame, Jeremy. She sat on the porch, shivering and shaking with rage, disappointment, anxiety, fatigue and least important, cold. She curled up on the mat like the cat which they seemed to have adopted lately did, her right arm bent so that she was leaning on the cushion of flesh on the inside of her elbow, her left arm curled up so her hand was covering her chest and her legs curled up at the bottom of her. She quickly drifted off to sleep.
Wandering around the streets slowly, the sisters’ attempts were in vain, but they checked twice and twice again, everywhere, the visibility was terrible. Eventually, two hours later, they both gave up on their meaningless search and attempted to be slightly optimistic; Phoebe would come home, when she wanted to. But she would come home. Prue was the first back onto the drive of the manor. She saw a figure huddled on the porch, and immediately knew who it was. She swiftly exited the car and ran to her sister.
"Phoebe?" she called before she arrived at her sister’s feet. "Phoebe?" ‘Oh, great, she’s ignoring me’, were her first thoughts, but then she realized that she was sleeping.
She attempted to rouse her, again, from an uneasy slumber. Noticing how drenched Phoebe was, Prue put her hand against her forehead. She was shocked by how warm her forehead was, and realized her erratic breathing as Piper pulled onto the driveway behind Prue’s car. She quickly relayed the situation to Piper, and the two attempted to rouse their sister.
Phoebe eventually woke up, mumbling to Prue that she was sorry, indoctrinated herself into believing that she had provoked the situation, therefore she must apologize. Prue ignored the words and helped her up, letting Phoebe lean heavily on her as she helped her to the couch and covered her with a lot of blankets. Piper fed her water and turned on the fire, Prue keeping watch as she fell back to sleep.
"She was well on the way to hypothermia, Piper," Prue said, quietly, as Phoebe slept.
"I know. If we hadn’t gotten home when we did. well thank God we got here on time."
"I can’t believe I did this. What a great big sister I am to you both; I let her go out and get pneumonia or whatever, all because I couldn’t tell who was lying to me. I chose my fiancé over someone I practically raised," she ranted, angry with herself.
"Prue, don’t be too hard on yourself. I really don’t think Phoebe would ever do that to you two. She’s not selfish like that," Piper attempted to console.
"I wish I had your rationality. You go get some sleep, I’ll stay with her," she assured Piper.
"Are you sure?"
"It’s eleven, you have to get up at six to go to Quake. Don’t want to mess up your new job."
Piper left the room, so Prue was left watching over her little sister.
When Phoebe awoke the next morning, she saw Prue slumped asleep in a chair, and found herself on the couch. It took her a few moments to recollect the events of the previous day, and between her pounding head and her vivid memory, the tears fell easily and rapidly. She pulled the numerous blankets around her, both to keep her warm and to hide her from her family’s existence. She heard the crinkling of blankets from the chair, and realized that Prue was waking up, so she sunk further into the voluminous blankets.
"Pheebs?" Prue asked, checking she was sleeping. "Pheebs please don’t be mad with me. I’m so sorry."
Underneath the covers, Phoebe was silently letting a few tears fall. She had acquired a dose of the flu since yesterday’s events and soon enough the trapped, hot air and stress became too much for her under the security of the blankets and she peeked over the top of them. Her face was red, to match her bloodshot eyes.
"I’m sorry too, Prue. " she choked out, sobbingly.
"Shhh, you should get some sleep. You’re sick."
"I know, but I want you on my side."
"I am on your side, I sat with you all night, I missing work for you today."
"You don’t have to."
"Yes, I do."
"No you don’t! I know why you’re doing this! It’s because you’re feeling guilty. It’s awful being shoved away by your sister, one of the two most important people in your life, because suddenly their boyfriend is more important."
"Phoebe, that is not the reason. If you don’t want me around, that’s fine. I have to go talk with Roger."
"Fine," she sneezed. "Whatever. I don’t need you."
Prue left the living room, and walked indignantly up the stairs. Phoebe flopped back against the couch and cried until sleep overcame her.
At one o’clock in the afternoon, she felt herself being shaken awake.
"Phoebe?" she heard a delicate voice ask. Piper. She painstakingly opened one eye.
"Hey," she said, hoarsely.
"Hi. Are you ok?"
"Physically I’m not too bad. I’m really upset over Prue though. What are you doing home?"
"Lunch break. Prue’s upset too. It’s one of those times where she doesn’t want to show her emotions because she doesn’t yet know where her loyalties lie. This is a very hard time for all of us right now."
"I know. Sorry I had to go and get sick. I’m even more of a burden now I guess."
"Burden? Sweetie why would you think that?"
"It’s true. I get into all kinds of trouble, and being the youngest it’s like you and Prue have been responsible for me."
"No, we’re here for you, we always have been. We always tried to protect you when you were little and it’s hard to get out of that habit. Prue and I get into trouble to but like you come to her and me, I go to her, and. well she keeps things to herself. You’re not a burden."
"I feel like one."
"Trust me, you’re not." Piper checked Phoebe’s temperature again. "You still have a fever, go back to sleep. I have to get back to work. I left you some lunch in the fridge; you haven’t eaten since yesterday morning."
"Thanks, I love you."
"Love you too," and Piper left for Quake as Phoebe quickly fell back to sleep.

Prue returned to the Manor at six. Phoebe was sat up on the couch watching TV. There were remnants from the lunch Piper left Phoebe on the table. She had picked at it slightly, but hadn’t eaten much of it.
"Hey," Prue said quietly to Phoebe. Phoebe grunted in response.
"Is that all I get?"
"Isn’t that all you deserve?"
"Phoebe I’m trying here. Please cut me a little slack."
"Why should I? I’m not the one who chose a guy over my sisters. Not to mention a guy who lies."
"That’s what I’m trying to resolve, but I can’t do that unless you’re willing to participate in this discussion."
"Fine, talk away."
"I went to talk to Roger. You were right. He did lie," Prue admitted quietly.
"I was right? Wow, I think the world just stopped turning."
"Phoebe. please don’t. Anyway, he was drunk. At two in the afternoon. Being intoxicated, he spoke the truth. He did love me, when he met me at my job interview. That was like three years ago. Then he met you. It seems he’d been using me to get to you."
"Why me?"
"He wanted to have his way with you. He thought you’d be good at. well I don’t have to spell it out for you."
"I never liked the way he looked at me. I’m sorry Prue, I didn’t realize how hard this had all been on you, I just concentrated on how horrible it was to be over shadowed by my sister’s fiancé."
Prue got up from her position on the chair she had slept on and hugged her sister. Together they cried, the eldest finally showing her weaknesses.
"I can’t believe he screwed me around like that, Phoebe," Prue sobbed."
I know, it’s ok," she moved on the couch so that the two were laying side by side.
Together they fell asleep, each growing further beyond their already accelerated ages, forming the essential bond that would serve them well in the years to come