Disclaimer: the Charmed Characters are the creation of Aaron Spelling and Constance Burge.. I've just borrowed them for your enjoyment
"Penny..Penny...Pen?"
Penny Halliwell looked up with a start, her friend Gail put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Sorry Penny, I was just wanting to know if you were ready yet, the girls are in the front room"
Penny looked disorientated for a moment "yes, yes I'm ready"
Gail watched as her friend stood to move to the front room to collect the three young girls, it was as though Penny had aged overnight her spark had gone, she looked lost, uncertain, her friend had never seen her like this.
Penny stood in the doorway looking at the three young girls - looking but not really seeing, as if on autopilot she spoke to the eldest.
"Prue its time"
Prue Halliwell bit her lip trying to control her face, she nodded at her Grandmother at the same time she prodded her younger sister.
At six Piper was three years younger than her big sister, yet in some ways that gap was much wider. Piper looked up to Prue, Prue always knew what to do, Prue had all the answers. Piper was to young to realise that Prue was a little girl herself a little girl who felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders, a little girl who would never let her fear show. Especially now.
Piper felt another push not hard but harder than the first she knew what her sister wanted she wanted her to stand up, wordlessly Piper stood. She looked across at Prue, Piper didn't see her sister swallow hard or her nostrils flare in a bid to stop that dam itching, the itching that told her if she wasn't careful her tears would fall. Prue wrinkled her nose - no way was that going to happen - she had to much to do, to much to think of.
As young as she was Prue knew her Grams wasn't coping, she wasn't right, she wasn't bothered about her granddaughters, she wasn't bothered about anything. Prue had never felt so alone.
Prue was brought back from her thoughts by the sound of breaking china, she jumped at the sound, she felt Piper bump against her in her effort to get closer, then they heard the wail.
Prue looked at her Grams she hadn't flinched it was as though she couldn't hear anything, Prue looked around frantacilaly in search of the source of the crying. Even as she scanned the room she couldn't help thinking how everything had changed - even her baby sisters cry.
*********
Gail spotted the youngest Halliwell first - Phoebe was 18 months old. She was tiny Phoebe had been born prematurely and had never caught up, at 18 months old she was the size of a year old she was like a little doll. As Gail went to pick her up Phoebe's sobs increased Gail could see the tiny chest heaving.
Phoebe looked up at the lady, she recognised her but didn't want her - she only wanted one person and she was missing. Phoebe was confused, her face crumbled, her lip quivered, two big tears ran down her tiny face, she shoved a chubby fist in her mouth even at this age she was like her big sister, making every effort not to cry, she was too young, she was yet to master her big sisters techniques she couldn't stop it the tears cascaded down her face.
Prue was over at Gails side like a shot she felt like her heart would break when she saw the state of her baby sister.
"Mmmmmama," the word was smothered by her fist but Prue knew what she was saying.
Prue once again had that dam feeling in her nose - the one that was connected to her eyes, she took a deep breath.
"No baby, come here, come to me, its just a cup, its ok" Prue knew Phoebe had scared herself when she broke the cup, Prue knew just by instinct her sister must have been hoisting herself up by the cloth on the table. She was angry some fool must have left their cup there, didn't they know Phoebe would pull the cloth!
Phoebe stopped crying Prue looked at the deep brown eyes staring back at her neither sister moved for a few seconds. Gail watched as Phoebe calmed down, holding her little arms out to her sister waiting for the older girl to pick her up.
Prue lifted her baby sister into her arms she felt the familiar tug of Phoebes tiny hand wrapped around her hair, Prue had one arm under her little sisters bottom taking her weight, the other she used to smooth back her sisters wild, curly hair.
"It's ok baby, its ok, shhh"
Phoebe looked into her sisters deep blue eyes, this was something familar somehting she could latch on to - they were the same colour as the one's for which she had been searching - she stuck her finger out and prodded Prues face.
Prue smiled as she caught the little hand and brought it to her mouth holding the fingers she kissed them then pretended to bite them making her baby girl giggle.
Piper came over and looked up at her sisters Prue could see the tears ready to fall, she kissed the little hand once more then let go holding out her hand to her other little sister.
Piper felt strange something was wrong something bad, but she couldn't understand what she just knew she didn't like it. Without a word she reached for the offered hand and held it tight she felt her sister squeeze it, once again looking at those blue eyes.
Prue smiled at her younger sister, hoping to give her courage, she knew it was time, the time she was dreading, she didn't have the answers all she knew was this sucked she wanted this day over - no correction she didn't want this day at all.
Prue sat in the front pew her younger sister Piper squashed against her, Piper had been crying in the car not knowing what was going on but not liking whatever it was, she had a dark dress on, she never wore dark dresses, so did Prue - it just felt, well it just felt wrong. Piper stopped crying the tear tracks still visible on her face, this was all so strange, she didn't know what to do, where she should be, how to act - the person who normally helped her simply wasn't there.
Piper could vaguely remember Aunt Gail telling her something - she knew it was important - she'd had to sit down she remembered Prue telling her to listen. She had listened she'd heard the words but couldn't grasp them.
Mummy had gone.
Piper looked around the big church it was full of people they all looked so big, big and strange, some she recognised others she didn't. But they all had one thing in common they all kept looking.
Piper hid her face against her sisters arm, if she couldn't see them, they couldn't see her. Content for the moment she closed her eyes as she felt the familiar hand hold hers. Even this was odd, this was the same hand that up until a few days ago would push her, or punch her intent on winding her up, the same hand that would tickle her, keep things out of her reach, taunt her. Piper knew without being told even this had changed, now the hand was protective, and caring, this was a good thing, good but strange.
Little Phoebe sat on the pew at the side of her oldest sister, Prue had tried to put her on her knee but Phoebe had struggled - she wanted her own space. She looked to her right her Grams was staring paying her no attention, turning to her left she could tell Prue wasn't quite right. Phoebe chewed on her lip, kicking her legs against the wood beneath her. That was good - that was noise and she was making it, she smiled as she looked around, there was a big box in front and a man in a white dress. Phoebe put her head on one side her sister had grabbed her legs and as hard as she tried she couldn't quite reach the wood. Phoebe sighed, then quickly pulled her legs up - before her sister realised what was happening Phoebe had managed to stand up on the pew, leaning forward she grinned at the people standing behind her. She had expected them to try and tickle her do something make her laugh but all they did was smile, it was an odd smile, if Phoebe had been older she would have recognised it as a pitying smile.
Phoebe bounced up and down from her knees she had somehting in her hand so she waved it.
Prue looked at her baby sister, she was clutching the flowers she had been given - a red rose and a white rose, the thorns had been taken out, which was just as well as Phoebe waved them frantacilly in her fist. Prue put her arms around her little sister.
"Stop Pheebes, come on honey sit down" her voice was a whisper she deperately wanted Phoebe to behave.
Phoebe was oblivious - recognising her sister her voice boomed out "Pooo"
"Shh, there for Mummy" Prue could have kicked herself, as soon as the words left her mouth.
"Mammmma?" Phoebe had no sense of pitch her voice rang out clear in the quiet of the church.
Piper looked up and took in the situation.
"Yeah Pheebes, for Mamma"
Phoebe grinned, this must mean Mamma was coming, she sat down looking ahead waiting for her Mummy to come and get her.
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Prue couldn't believe this was happening, it still wasn't real, her life had been tipped upside down. One minute she was a normal little girl with two little sisters and a Mum to look after them, now that had gone. Inside her stomach was churning, who would get her ready for school? Who would comb her hair? Who would listen to her worries and make them go away? Who would make her better when she was sick?
It all sounded so mean so selfish but this was what she thought - she knew who would do that for Piper and she knew who would do it for Phoebe but what about her. Anyway it was wrong, this wasn't right, it wasn't right for any of them, nobody could replace her Mum.
She was deep in thought when she realised everyone was standing, she nudged Piper and the two little girls stood up, looking to her side she saw that Phoebe was already standing, she was on her tip toes looking around the church.
Phoebe was searching - Piper had said Mamma was coming for her, at least that's how she remembered it, so where was she?
Phoebe felt herself being picked up and turned to the front of the church. That was ok it was Prue, she smiled at Prue and kissed her.
Prue felt the sloppy kiss land on her cheek and looked into the deep brown eyes of her baby sister, Phoebe looked so innocent she had no idea where she was, or what was happening, Prue had been holding the tears back all day, she almost choked as she looked at this baby girl, this baby girl, so trusting, so loving, so cute with her massive brown eyes, do deep you could sink into them, her hair was thick and curly she had a grin that filled her face. Once again Prue held the tears back, she managed to smile at her baby sister and kissed her back.
The Minister led the mourners in song - The Lords My Shepherd. Piper knew the words and as try as she might they wouldn't come out, there was this lump in her throat, this huge lump that wouldn't let anything past, there was also that weight, the one pressing against her chest.
Piper gave up, instead she listened to the sounds around her, she could hear Prue, Prue was singing, not very well, and not all the time but Piper could hear the odd word or line being forced out.
Phoebe recognised singing she liked singing, she wriggled in her sisters arms, she didn't know the song, that didn't matter, she knew another one. She took a deep breath like she'd been shown and joined in.
Piper grinned, she looked at Prue, Prue was grinning too, her Grams was oblivious and the rest of the mourners where smiling, most of them smiling through their tears.
"Up buve so eyyeeee, dimonnn, innnn sk eyeeee"
Phoebes baby voice rung out loud and clear - the words not quite right but even so recognisable - Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, the song their Mother had so patiently taught her last week, this was the most they'd heard, nobody had even realised Phoebe had taken it in, Phoebe had refused to repeat it. Prue and Piper looked at each other, without saying a word each knew what the other was thinking, although not 'normal' somehow this song or rather nursery rhyme was right - everything else that day was wrong but this was right, they knew their Mum would have loved it.
The hymm finished so so did Phoebe, she beamed at Prue and clumsily clapped her hands.
Prue's eyes filled with tears, even so she smiled, in their darkest hour there was still some light.
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Prue led her sisters towards the coffin, Piper had calmed down, she didn't know why or how but she felt ok, she had felt ok since Phoebe’s version of Twinkle Twinkle.
Prue leaned forward and put her roses on the casket, Piper followed suit, Phoebe was between each of her sisters each of them had one of her hands, somehow Phoebe had managed to cling on to her flowers, they were crumpled but she had them just the same.
Prue reached down and picked her sister up.
"Pheebes, put the flowers on the box" Prue's voice was a whisper she hadn't know what to say coffin was to harsh, too harsh for anyone but Phoebe was only 18 months old she wouldn't even know what one was.
Phoebe leaned back in her sister’s arms and stared.
"There’s a good girl, come on like me and Piper"
Phoebe looked doubtful, she had become quite attached to her flowers, they were good for waving and she could hit things with them.
"There for Mummy Pheebes, put them on the box" Piper leaned in and whispered to her baby sister.
Phoebe's little face creased, Prue held her breath, Piper closed her eyes.
"Mamma?" Phoebe had a frown across her forehead.
"Yeah baby Mamma" Prue didn't care who was watching or what else was going on - this was for her and her sisters.
Phoebes frown increased.
"Ox?"
"Yeah babe, put them on the box for Mamma" Prue still held the chubby hand which was curled into a tight fist clutching onto the flowers.
"Mamma ox?"
Prue couldn't answer she nodded.
"Mamma!" Phoebes voice was loud.
"Shhh honey, Mamma's asleep"
Phoebe put her finger to her mouth, her eyes were wide "big sweep?"
Dam there was that tickle in her nose again, once again Prue crunched up her face.
"Yeah honey, Mamas having a big sleep, leave the flowers for her yeah?" Prue raised her eyebrows at her sister.
Phoebe nodded and reached out to drop the flowers, as she put them down she wriggled out of Prues arms and stood once again between her sisters.
Once again Prue felt the tears threatening, once again she held them back.
"Bye Mum, love you" She looked across at Piper
Piper choked "Miss you, love you"
Phoebe looked from one sister to the other once again she was frowning, before anyone knew what she was doing Phoebe raised her little hand and tapped it on the box.
"Mamma Up!"
Prue tugged at Phoebes hand trying to pull her away.
"Up, Mamma, up!"
Prue knelt down so she was level with the little girl, she knew if she picked her up there would be a struggle.
"Shh!" Prue held her finger to her mouth.
Phoebe stared at her big sister.
"Mummy's sleeping"
Phoebe looked puzzled................So? Mummy could wake up.
Phoebe moved towards Prue and put a chubby hand either side of her sisters face.
Phoebe stared directly into her sisters eyes "Up.....Poo?...... Mamma up?" Phoebes voice was a whisper.
"No sweetheart not now, she can't get up, we need to go. Come with me?"
Phoebe nodded and moved her hands down to her sisters neck, she held on tight as she felt herself once again hosited into the familiar arms of her big sister, Phoebe didn't speak or make any more noise, she inserted her thumb in her mouth and rested her head quitely against her sisters shoulder. Something wasn't right.
Prue stroked her little sisters hair, she knew the baby sensed something was wrong.
"Say bye bye, Pheebes"
Without lifting her head from her sisters' shoulder little Phoebe brought her clenched hand to her mouth and kissed it, opening the palm she blew in the direction of the box.
Phoebe looked down at Piper a frown on her face.
"It's alright baby, Mummy caught it" Piper smiled at her sister.
Phoebes brow cleared she lifted her hand again and pointed the palm at the coffin, she opened and closed her fist, her other thumb still in her mouth.
"Bye bye" Phoebes voice was almost a whisper.
Prue held the little girl close, she could smell the familiar scent of baby powder and shampoo she kissed the baby's head reaching out with her free hand she took Piper by the hand and proudly led her little sisters to the awaiting cars.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Prue Halliwell sat in the corner of her room she had managed to escape the pitying looks the hugs and the kisses, she just wanted everyone to go, she sat on her own trying to imagine what her life was going to be like, all she knew at the moment was that there was a hole, a deep black hole.
A movement in the doorway caught her attention it was Piper she was standing in the doorway a paniced expression on her face; Prue watched her younger sisters face clear when she spotted Prue in the corner.
Piper was over to her in a shot, no words were exchanged as Piper squashed onto the seat next to Prue, Prue put her arms protectively around her younger sibling's shouders as Piper snuggled in.
The sisters had had enough no one would leave them in peace, it seemed people couldn't understand their need to be left, they were both fed up with the constant attention and pitying looks. Prue felt angry, that was her overwhelming emotion she was angry at everything and everybody, everybody that was apart from her little sisters.
Prue was angry with her Mum for dying, she was angry with her Dad for not being there, she was angry at her Grams for not looking after them, she was angry with all the people in the house - she was angry!
Piper didn't know how she felt she just knew she was sad, sadder than she'd ever felt before.
Little Phoebe was confused, it had been nice all these people, all these people looking at her, talking to her, picking her up, the enjoyment soon turned to frustration, people picked her up shen she didn't want to be - she had stuff to do!
Once again Phoebe was being held by someone she didn't recognise, she was tired and hungry, no one seemed to care that she hadn't eaten for ages and where was Mummy and George? Phoebe wriggled and started fussing fortunately the woman holding her had the sense to realise she wanted to be put down. As soon as Phoebes feet hit the floor she was off.
Nobody noticed the tiny girl climbing her way up the stairs, with all that was going on the safety gate had not been put in place. Phoebe grinned this was more like it!
Phoebe loved climbing she was an expert, she could climb up the back of any chair or sofa, tables were not a problem she'd even managed to climb on top of the kitchen counter, stairs were not a challenge. Very quickly Phoebe found herself at the top dropping to her knees she quickly crawled throught the first empty door she came to.
Phoebe was on a mission - Mummy had to be somewhere, Prue had said she was asleep, Phoebe knew Mummy slept upstairs.
Phoebe scoured the room, there was no sign of her Mum, however her face lit up she's spotted something else, something else that was important to her - George!
George her stuffed monkey! Clutching him tight she gave him a few sloppy kisses then took him with her on the next leg of her journey.
Phoebe left that room and went into the next - she knew she was on the right track she could smell Mummy. Phoebe toddled over to the bed clutching George with one hand she tried to climb up, she couldn't see properly from the floor maybe Mummy was there.
Phoebe filled her lungs "Mamma?" greeted with silence Phoebe was still not ready to be defeated.
Taking her normal route she made her way to her Mums nighstand and put her foot on the bottom drawer handle, then she realised this wouldn't work she couldn't grab onto anything because she was still clutchng her beloved George. Having found George Phoebe was reluctant to let go. She abandoned her plan, noticing the comforter dangling over the bed, with her free hand she grabbed hold ready to hoist herself up. The comforter slipped from the bed Phoebe sat down with a thud, tears of frustration rolled down her face, Phoebe moved on to plan C.
Standing up Phoebe ran from the room into the room opposite - there! That was better this would do!
Phoebes face lit up - there they where!
Prue and Piper looked at the pitiful sight that was their baby sister, standing in the doorway, a tearstained face with her thumb in her mouth, George dangling from her hand the deep brown eyes stared back at them.
Clutching at Prues dress Phoebe tried to haul herself up, Prue leaned forward and helped the little girl climb on her knee.
Phoebe knelt on Prues lap facing her sister, she stared solemnly at Prues face.....there they where......part of what she was searching for.......the blue eyes, exactly the same as her Mum's.
Phoebe locked eyes with her big sister; clumsily reaching up she put a chubby hand on each of her sister's ears and pulled her to her.
Prue laughed, Phoebe didn't stop until their noses were touching, "Hello baby! - You want a cuddle?"
Phoebes nose was still pressed against Prues as she nodded her head.
Prue couldn't help but smile as she pulled the little girl back "I can't see you like that honey you're too close"
Piper was smiling as Phoebe gave Prue a huge grin.
Prue grabbed her baby sister and lifted her off her knee holding her high above her head, Pheobe giggled.
Prue brought her down and sat her sideways on her lap, cuddling the baby of the family, Prue knew this was it - this was how it was going to be. She felt a sloppy kiss land on her face and the shuffle as Phoebe leaned over to grab Piper, Phoebes mouth was open indicating that she wanted a kiss.
"Ughh! Gross Pheebes! Close your mouth!" Piper was laughing as she leaned in ready to accept the sloppy kiss from her baby sister.
Phoebe gave Piper a big gummy smile - she hadn't kept hold of her teeth for very long she'd fallen over with her bottle in her mouth and knocked the front ones out only months after they had come through.
"I'm sure she knows what she's doing!"
Prue smiled at Piper "I'd put money on it!" turning her attention to Phoebe "You little monkey! You're just like George!" Prue poked Pheobe in the tummy making her giggle.
Pheobe was content for the moment - no one else would do, nothing else could calm her, looking into Prues eyes gave her the comfort she needed. She was exhausted nobody had really bothered to keep her in her routine she'd missed her afternoon nap, snuggling into her big sisters arms the baby of the family felt safe and secure, closing her eyes little Phoebe was soon fast asleep.
Piper broke the silence "What you thinking Prue?"
Prue had been staring at the sleeping baby in her arms.
"Nothing"
"Tell me"
"Just that, well just that, she's ours now Pipe, she's our baby girl"
Piper smiled as she snuggled into Prue "Yeah, she's ours? - I can help can't I Prue?"
"Yes Pipe, you can help"
A gap had appeared in the sisters' lives and in the absence of anyone else to fill it the sisters had turned to each other, and that was how it began......