Disclaimer: the Charmed Characters are the creation of Aaron Spelling and Constance Burge.. I've just borrowed them for your enjoyment


I fell for it everytime - if the whining and the pleading didn't get me the cute, hopeful smile did - every time every dam time - for as long as I could remember my little sister always got around me. The only consolation was this time she'd be suffering to! That thought had kept me going for the last two hours....two long, very long, uncomfortable hours.

I should know better, I really should, god it was beginning to effect my brain - I was babbling, babbling in my own head this can't be good. I growled and shook my head in an effort to stop these rambling thoughts - concentrate! I needed to concentrate all my efforts should be focused on the damage I could inflict on my little sister when this, this torture, this hell finally ended.

"Come on Pipe it will be fun" GOD!!! How many times had she said those seven words and how many times did I fall for it - no need to count - every dam time!

Still at least she'd be trapped in her own little hell hole.

I struggled to remember a time when she'd said those seven words and it turned out true! I tried to focus.....there was the time she took me for a sauna, that had been ok, (ish), that was until she decided to cool things down by throwing some cold water onto the hot coals........we had both nearly died (not that I'm one to be dramatic) but the steam from the coals had been so dry, we'd coughed and spluttered our way out of the log cabin not caring about the strange looks we were getting it was only when we calmed down we realised in out haste to breathe all thoughts of modesty had gone out of the window. We stood there centre stage clad in the smallest hand towel I had ever seen - well maybe another exaggaration but our charms were barely concealed. Another embarrasing moment - all down to my little sisters idea of fun!

Then there was the yoga - that was fine, we'd been going for a week or two and I was really starting to enjoy it - so was Phoebe. I could hear her now "Isn't it great Pipe so relaxing" - it was relaxing all right - too dam relaxing I had fallen asleep, quite happy in my little dream world, totally oblivious to everything around me until I woke myself up with a loud snore. Oh if only the ground would open up and swallow you when you wanted it to! Everyone had heard - Phoebe was the loudest of all, the laughter and the strange looks saw to it that I never attended again - that was one occasion that no amount of pleading on Phoebes behalf would get me back! Talk about embarrassed!

Then there was the time she thought we needed to 'find ourselves'. I personally wanted to stay lost but no! Once again I gave into the pleas - "Please Piper please! It's no fun on my own, please come with me. Prue won't come". No dam right Prue wouldn't come! Prue had more dam sense. So there I was in the centre of a circle chanting....chanting!!! Ommmmmm......Ommmmmmm - I looked across and Phoebe had the cheek to grin, I could see she was dying to laugh as the circle closed in around me to feel my aura! My aura! My god - could these people get more personal?!

So it should be no suprise today....how had it started oh yes! "Pipe - have I got a treat for you" I should have been suspicious right away but no - hook line and sinker! My curiousity got the better of me - so naive! "Piper there's this treatment - guranteed to take inches off in one session just think how great you'll look in that new dress"

I paused in my beating of a steak to a pulp - she'd caught my attention.

"It's fantastic - come on Pipe Prue's treat"

I'd grinned - knowing she would somehow con Prue into paying for us - but not brave enough to ask how......ignorance was best when dealing with Prue!

She had made it sound so attractive - "Look Pipe they immerse your body in a warm, creamy type of goo"

"GOO!" I'd practically screamed at her.

"Chill Pipe! Crikey you really need this - this will take the edge off your nerves"

I didn't bother to explain that the only time my nerves were frazzled was when she was scheming some hair brained pass-time for me to get involved in!

"Yeah Pipe - it'll be all soft and warm and squidgy then they wrap you in soft cotton and just lay there - totally relaxed you don't need to do anything and to cap it all you're guranteed to lose like 7 to 8 inches"

"7 to 8 inches!" She'd got me...the thought of laying down in nice warm substance (I couldn't bear to think of goo!) while the inches just fell off mmmm it did sound good!

So once again....like some sort of lamb to the slaughter my little sister led me to my doom!

My semi-high soon dipped when we were seperated and I was led by some amazonian type woman to a cold, bare room.

"Strip!" she practically barked at me - she was so not going to win any charm contest!

I hesitated, now unsure of myself.

"You have to be measured!" As she spoke she snapped the tape measure between her hands.

I looked at her stern, unsmiling face and felt like I was 9 years old getting ready for my much dreaded gym class. I had one consolation - the woman who had taken Phoebe off looked ten times worse.

I stripped off - feeling totally vulnerable, I was cold and shivering - she grabbed my upper arm and began measuring - top of my arm, middle of my arm and wrist, then she did the same with the other arm. What was this? Did she really think I was interested in losing inches off my arms!!!

Things went from bad to worse - once she had finished with my arms she moved to my waist, hips, thighs, legs - I felt totally humiliated things couldn't get any worse. I was going to kill Phoebe!

But of course things did get worse!

Next on the agenda was the application of the goo....yes goo. A thick, brown, foul smelling paste was plastered all over my body - even worse it was cold! The room was cold the goo was cold I was COLD...apparantly the heating had broken - no biggie I said teeth chattering, smiling in an endevour to cheer up Amazonian woman. Then I was wrapped in horrible old, dirty looking bandages - I felt like something out of 'The Mummy' - All that was needed was those horrible crabby things to come scuttling across the floor. I cheered up shen she said I was to put on a rubber suit - not that I'm kinky mind! It was the promise of the heat stimulating my metabolism helping to shed all of those unwanted inches. I didn't stop to think that I wasn't actually over weight! My mood soon dipped again when the temperature in the suit began to drop - it just felt wet and squidgy - not pleasant at all. Apparantly I was to stay like this for another hour - plenty of time to ponder Phoebes fate.

My only consolation being that she was suffering too.....good I thought......just what she deserved....no suffering could be bad enough.

The door opened and Amazonian was back - with a hose in her hand, no surely not! She wouldn't.....she would....she stripped off my rubber suit and turned the hose towards me and I was sprayed! Coughing and spluttering - shivering in all my naked glory - Phoebe was so dead!

Nothing I did could warm me up......I was measured....yes I'd lost the inches - an eighth on a centimeter on each of the 'measure points'...PHOEBEEEEEE!!!

I got dressed - I couldn't remember feeling so mad I stormed out of the room looking for my little sister - who was no-where to be seen!

She's gone home the receptionist happily informed me...she said would you mind getting a cab?

She was dead she was so dead!

I made my way to the Manor trying to calm down, after all she'd been in the same boat - it wasn't as though her room would have been any warmer. I entered the kitchen where my two sisters were chatting.

"Hey Pipe! Enjoy you're mud wrap?" Prue beamed at me I could see the twinkle in her eye - immediately I was on the alert,

"Not really...how about you Pheebes? Did you enjoy it?" I directed my comment at my younger sister, she was sat nursing a cup of hot chocolate.

"Oh god no! I didn't bother - it was far to cold I came home and vegged out"

I could feel my blood boil - I was incensed! The only thing that had kept me going was the thought of Phoebe suffering too! I grabbed for her nearly knocking her off her stool.

"Hey! Piper come on leave her alone! What's the problem?" Prue had stepped in for once the roles were reversed she was playing peacemaker!

I had Phoebe by the collar of her shirt "I'm so going to kill you!"

Phoebe looked shocked she actually looked shocked!

Prue jumped in and pulled us apart "Calm down!"

"Calm down! Calm down! You'll need to calm down when you find out how much it cost! Go on Phoebe tell her!"

"Ermmmm $150"

"And why would I be mad?"

"She put it on your credit card!" I was triumphant my work was done - I watched as Phoebe ran out of the room Prue in hot pursuit. Ha! - And I didn't even have to be the one to do the killing - our big sister would do it for me! Feeling much better as I heard the raised voices I reached for the abandoned mug of chocolate - adding a few marshmallows I settled back and listened - now who was smug!


THE END