Disclaimer: the Charmed Characters are the creation of Aaron Spelling and Constance Burge.. I've just borrowed them for your enjoyment

Prue Halliwell stared out at the garden, she had been in the garden seat for well over an hour looking, looking but not seeing. Prues mind was on other things. Try as she might not to she kept running through the events of that evening.

It had all started pleasant enough, she had been surprised just how much she had been looking forward to the evening particularly after all the upset of the previous two weeks. That was when it had started - two weeks to the day.

Prue remembered how angry she'd been - as per usual her anger had been directed at her youngest sister - Phoebe.

Prue had logged onto the laptop - at least she'd tried, as it happened Phoebe had still been logged in Prue had clicked on the screensaver and there it was - an instant message from their Dad.

Everything had escalated Prue was angry that Phoebe had been in contact with the Father who had walked out on them years before, she'd been so angry she could still remember the feelings vividly. Betrayal - that had been her biggest emotion, she'd felt so hurt, Prue felt betrayed of course she didn't bother explaining this to Phoebe, no of course not, that would have been too close, she never let that happen, she never let her little sisters see just how vulnerable she felt underneath the hard ass exterior. She had felt so betrayed after all she'd done for her little sister she'd put him and his needs before hers. She knew of course, she knew as it was happening that it was all coming out wrong, she just looked angry, her fists were clenched and her mouth caught in a straight line, her blue eyes flashing with temper.

Prue had watched her sister cower, then she'd watch Phoebe become angry - Prue knew she was being defensive, she knew her kid sister inside out, it was always the same, Prue would start with the yelling, initially Phoebe would be scared, then she'd fight back, then she'd get upset. Phoebe was the opposite of Prue in this respect, Phoebe wore her heart on her sleeve, she never hid her pain. Prue scowled - not until tonight, the night that had resulted in Phoebe in her room, Piper in the kitchen and Prue in the window seat.

Prues mind drifted back again......Piper had walked in - as usual - right bang in the middle of World War 3.

"You had no right to use the laptop, you knew I was logged on" Phoebes face was contorted, twisted in anger as at last she found her voice, the voice she needed to defend herself from her sisters verbal attack.

"Don't even try it! Don't even try and twist this!" Prue equally angry had been yelling back.

"Privacy! Privacy Prue! You're always in my face! It's time you backed off I'm not a little kid anymore, I don't need you to advise me on every dam decision in my life!"

"No! No of course not! I should just let you stumble through your life then bail you out like I always do!" Prue could see the comment hit home, she saw the look of hurt flash through her sisters eyes.

Phoebe bit on her lip, she couldn't trust herself to speak, she knew she was close to tears, Prue shouldn't have said that, she wanted to cry but it was tears of frustration and anger not hurt - and for once she didn't want to give Prue the satisfaction of seeing her reduced to tears.

"What the hell?" Piper frowned at her sisters - this seemed even worse than usual.

"She spyed on me!" Pheobe had found her voice.

"Oh grow up! For crying out loud - if you want me to stop treating you like a little kid then stop acting like one!"

"What?" Piper still didn't have a clue what this was all about.

"She's been writing to Dad" Prue spoke to Piper but glared at her other sister.

Piper raised her eyebrows "And we're this upset why?" she directed the question at Prue.

"Because once again she's proven she can't be trusted, once again she's gone behind our backs, once again she hasn't had a goddam thought for anyone but herself"

Phoebe was getting more and more frustrated - she'd always found it difficult to win a verbal with Prue, Prue never gave her a chance, Phoebe knew if she said anything she'd just sound defensive and give Prue even more ammunition - she'd been in this situation too many times. Phoebe couldn't believe it even now, even now after all these years Prue could do this to her, Prue could reduce her to a blubbering idiot!

Prue's words had found their mark - the tears fell "I knew you'd react like this, that's why"

"There we are - there we have it! So you admit it you have been sly and decietful!"

Phoebe looked at Piper hoping she'd help, Piper shook her head "You should have said"

"Suit yourselves!" Phoebe had grabbed the laptop and run to her room.

Piper let out a long sigh.

Prue had shaken her head at Piper "Don't" she held her hand up defensively.

"I wasn't going to" Piper scowled at Prue, how many times had this happened! The sisters knew the dance so well, each knew the others steps, the hand had been to stop Piper defending their baby sister.

Piper was still scowling "However you were a bit hard"

Prue had sat down her head in her hands "It was all true"

"Prue!" Piper sounded angry "She's right she's not a little kid - we might not agree with things she does but we can't dictate to her" Piper paused "Not anymore"

Prue had been too upset to speak, she got up from her seat and made her way to her own room, she couldn't tell Piper that she just felt hurt, Phoebe didn't have to go behind her back, she could have told her what she was doing, then the last comment from Piper was the icing on the cake - dictate - is that really how her little sisters saw her? Did they really see her as some sort of control freak, dictating and controlling their actions.

Prue had thrown herself onto her bed, then just like her little sister she let the tears fall, they were slow, trickling down her face in a steady stream.

Piper had started to clean, that's what she did when she was upset, she could feel the ball of anger growing in her stomach! Dam it! They were both to blame, Phoebe had been sly but Prue shouldn't have been such a bitch.

Phoebe was curled up in a ball. Why did it always backfire! She'd been in contact with their Dad for a couple of weeks, nothing spectacular just a couple of EMails. She'd been worried since the first exchange, she hadn't known what to do. Phoebe was well aware of her older sisters opinion of their - in Prues opinion - deadbeat Dad. Prue was bitter and twisted when it came to their Father, Phoebe had learnt from an early age to avoid the subject for fear of incurring her sisters wrath. She'd struggled with it from the beginning - she couldn't even tell Piper. Phoebe's tears stopped, had begun to calm, but her sisters words kept rolling round in her head her sisters didn't trust her! Phoebe knew that in this respect Prue had been right, Prue had a point, she should have told her. But Phoebe had done what she'd done all her life, she'd kept her head down, she'd put off facing up to facts in the hope the problem would go away. Phoebe couldn't help the wry smile that came to her face, she never did learn! Things never went away, oh no not for Phoebe Halliwell, no they just came right back, bigger and stronger and bit her in the butt, or in the majority of cases were Prue was involved kicked her up the ass!
The following few days had been strained to say the least, the Halliwell sisters had a lot in common, not least of all was their stubborness and reluctance to back down. Piper avoided her sisters she really didn't want to get involved in this one, even though deep down she knew she'd have to, after all this wouldn't go away, this was her Dad. Piper couldn't help but see the irony in that statement 'it wouldn't go away this was her Dad!'.

Prue felt guilty, she'd been nasty to her little sister but still she couldn't bring herself to say sorry, she only had to remember what had caused her anger in the first place to prevent that from happening.

Phoebe still felt hurt, Prue had really hit home. Eventually Phoebe gave in, she was angry at herself but she just couldn't help it, she tried not to give in but Prue was right she was a stupid little kid still upset just because of a row with her sister! Just like when she was little Phoebe hated it, she hated anyone being mad at her, she hated the bad atmosphere, she hated Prue not understanding and most of all she hated that feeling, the one where she felt that she'd let everyone down.

Phoebe had come down to breakfast - her sisters were at the table, both had faces so long they could have tripped on them, Phoebe knew she couldn't keep it up - dam it they always won! She was always the one to come crawling back, Phoebe sat down at the table, neither of her sisters even bothered to look up.

"Erm, guys" Phoebe watched as her sisters viewed her with an air of suspicion, "I'm sorry" there she'd done it.

Prue looked at her her face unreadable.

Piper nodded.

"Can we call a truce? Please I hate this" Phoebe hadn't realised just how upset she'd felt, she felt the tears welling up, she couldn't stop it.

Prue slowly turned her head and looked directly into Phoebes eyes.

Prue couldn't help it she felt herself melting, she nodded "Me too"

Piper smirked "Me too what?"

Prue glared at her wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Me too what Prue? You're sorry or you hate this?" Piper was determined to have some payback for the miserable days she'd spent as a result of her sisters stubborness.

Prue looked at Phoebe she was still chewing on her lip "Both".

Piper smiled, "Good! I should dam well think so too! You both need you're heads banging together, and any repeat performance I might do just that"

Piper looked from one sister to the other with a satisfied look on her face.

Phoebe smiled at Piper she knew Piper had been as miserable as she had been "Oww, just the thought" Phoebe rubbed her forehead, "Prue's head is as hard as her ass"

A smile spread across Prues face, Phoebe could always cheer her up!

"Pheebes, the things I said, I'm sorry" Prue hesitated "I didn't mean them, I was shocked I suppose."

Phoebe nodded she didn't want to dredge that up again, Phoebe had come to terms with Prues words, Prue wasn't the only one who knew her sisters, Phoebe had worked out why she'd been so angry.

"It's ok Prue don't worry, but can we talk?"

Prue nodded.

"First off I am sorry, I'm really sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I just didn't know how"

Piper raised her eyebrows "If you want to talk fine, but truth please!"

Phoebe groaned - could she get away with nothing!

"I could never find the words, the words or the time" Phoebe hesitated "And I was scared"

"Of me?" Prue looked hurt - she could still remember Pipers reaction that word dictate had taken days to leave her head.

Phoebe couldn't help but see the hurt in Prues face, it was so rare that Prues emotions were so raw, Pheobe felt awful, she'd caused this.

"No Prue, not of you" Phoebe averted her gaze "Of you being right, I didn't want to tell you, for you to warn me, and then for him to let me down again, us down again"

Prue bit her lip, she reached out and gently brought Phoebes face up to meet her own, she shook her head "I wouldn't have gloated"

"I know that, I know its just well, I knew you'd be mad as well, I just wanted to be able to say, it's ok, he's alright, he's here to stay.....I thought......I thought that maybe then, maybe you'd see that he wasn't going to let us down, maybe then you wouldn't be so mad....."

"Maybe then we'd be a family?" Piper had finished Phoebes sentence for her.

Phoebe nodded, Prue stood up and put her arms around her sister, she didn't speak, she did what she had done all her life, she gave her sister a feeling of warmth, love and security, Phoebe hugged her big sister back.

Prue came back to the present.....so that was how one mess ended and another had begun.......



She'd been determined that that night would be different. Prue didn't even realise, she had tears streaming down her face, she'd tried she had really tried. Prues mind driffted back again, she just couldn't seem to focus. Phoebe had been so excited, their Dad had been in contact with her for a few weeks - he wanted to see them, all of them. Phoebe relayed the message, dinner at his hotel.

Prue remembered her reaction, no way! Straight off she'd said it, and of course once she'd said it that was that. That was how she found herself alone, well not quite alone she had a plate of Broccoli to keep her company, while her little sisters lived it up in the best Hotel in town. Ugh even the smell had been disgusting! She'd just taken the vegetables out of the microwave when she heard the door.

Prue opened the door - she didn't need to speak, she gave an amused smile and let her on off boyfriend of many years into her home.

She'd been unable to stop her mouth - Prue smiled as she remembered, how many times she'd said that to a young Phoebe "You just can't stop that mouth can you?!" Prue had lost count of the number of times her sisters mouth had got her into trouble. Still deep down Prue knew she loved her for it, even when she'd had to tell her off for going to far with a neighbour or at school inside Prue was proud of her little sister. Prue loved her to bits - even her mouth, more often than not Prue was amused, but of course she couldn't let Phoebe see that, no she had to teach her right from wrong, what was acceptable and what was not.

Prue could still remember so clearly Mr Johnson coming round to complain to the girls grandmother about Phoebe picking his prize roses. The five year old Phoebe had stood there with an air of innocence, Prue could picture her now, her hair wild and unruly, her face so serious, the big brown eyes so wide, her sweater two sizes to big that just added to her vulnerability.

"Honest Mr Johnson, I'm sorry, it was an accident"

Prue could remember looking on as the five year old imp played them all - how could picking flowers be an accident!

"Yes, you see Harry, Phoebes just a little girl, she doesn't always think things through I'm sure she didn't mean it"

Prue had caught the flash in Phoebes eyes, the one that told her big sister that she knew exactly what she'd done, and now she thought she'd got away with it! Prue never did give her up to Grams, Prue could still remember to this day the look on Phoebes face when she caught Prues eye, Prue had raised her eyebrows, that was all it had taken, the look of guilt flashed clearly across the little girls face, from that day on Prue could always tell when Phoebe was covering up.

Mr Johnson had gone away without anymore fuss, admiting that maybe he had overreacted, Grams had patted Phoebe on the head "there there honey, no need to get upset it was just a misunderstanding, nobody's mad with you"

Prue had watched as Phoebe gave Grams here sweetest smile "Thanks Grams, I feel better now".

Prue had been amused as much as anything - 5 years old! She should have been on the stage. As soon as Grams had left the room Phoebe had tried to make a dive up the stairs but Prue was to quick for her, she grabbed her little sister by the back of her sweater and pulled her back.

"Truth"

Phoebe had looked at Prue from under her hair, tiny frown lines appeared on her forehead. Once again Prue raised her eyebrows.

"I was just playing"

"Playing what?"

"Gardening"

"Gardening?"

"Mmmm"

"And how does that go exactly?"

"I erm, I pick the flowers"

"So you picked Mr Johnsons prize roses?"

"I didn't mean to"

"What so they just snapped and ended up in your hand?"

Phoebe had nodded - that sounded fair.

"Phoebe?" Prue's voice sounded the warning.

"Well no, not really, I needed them"

God it was like pulling teeth!

"Phoebe!"

"To get married, I'm marrying Robbie at tea-time"

"Oh right - that's ok then" Prue had shook her head "Phoebe what have I told you about taking other peoples things"

Phoebe had hung her head "Not too" Phoebe looked up, hope on her face, she'd just thought of something "But they were outside, they weren't in his house or anything"

Prue shook her head "Phoebe you know better"

The tears had started then "I'm sorry Prue, I didn't think............. I just wanted to look nice for my wedding"

Prue had nearly laughed, she'd smoothered her mouth with her hand "Ok, but you know it was wrong don't you?"

Phoebe had nodded as Prue continued "And you know you shouldn't tell fibs don't you?"

Phoebe had nodded again the tears were still falling, she held her arms up to Prue "I'm sorry Prue, don't be mad!"

Prue had inwardly groaned - that was all it took - dam it! How could she teach her little sister right from wrong when all she had to do was cry and hold her arms up! She would get better as the years rolled by but for now Prue gave in, she knew she would so why fight it? She picked her sister up and held her tight,

"Shh, stop now, stop that crying that won't make this right" still Prue was trying! "How about we take some money from your money box and buy Mrs Johnson some roses to replace the ones you took? And while we're there you can say sorry like you should have done before and this time mean it"

Phoebe had sniffed in her arms "Ok" little Phoebe sniffed some more, "but Prue I was saving up for a hula hoop" Phoebe had frowned at Prue clearly perplexed at this turn of events.

Prue smiled to herself even then, even at the age of 5 Phoebe had her round her little finger, Phoebe had no where near what she needed for a hula hoop, Prue ended up taking a few cents off her just to make it real, then putting the majority of the money to the flowers herself, to cap it all she promised Phoebe she could borrow her hula hoop whenever she wanted and she'd made her a bouquet for her tea-time wedding to Robbie!

But anyway once again her thought had digressed - Back to that night the one where she was in the kitchen, cup of coffee in hand running off at the mouth with the one person who would not judge - he was impartial - it wasn't his Dad. Andy had listened, that was his job that night, he listened while Prue reeled off all the things she'd wanted her Dad to experience and hadn't, all the things he missed and hadn't even known aboout, when she eventually dried up Andy said three words, three little words that's all it had taken to send the tornado into motion 'tell him then'.
Prue stood in the crowded restaurant she had been there for a few minutes, minutes that had ticked away without her even noticing. She watched her little sisters, her beautiful little sisters, her girls laugh and chat with a man they hardly knew. A man who had the sheer audacity to call himself their father.

She felt pain, it was a horrible unbearable totally indescribable pain.

Her little sisters looked so happy, of course that was what she wanted, she'd never wanted anything less she wanted the two people she loved more than anything in this world to be happy - yet she couldn't get over the feeling that was swamping her, the feeling of hatred, jealousy and mis-trust.

Hatred because of the life she'd been forced to live, the gap she had had to fill, all due to his inadequacy - she had been forced into a relationship particularly with Phoebe that should never have been, she should have been allowed to be the big sister, shared the fun, conspire and plot, but that simply wasn't to be. She had been forced to grow up fast, she'd been forced to fill that gap, the gap he had left, she'd been forced to be the authoritarian the killjoy, the person who taught her sisters right from wrong. She'd been forced to be what had Piper called her? the dictator. Her entire world had come tumbling down around her small 7 year old shoulders - the night he left, the night he walked out on his wife and daughters, his family, the family he was supposed to love.

Jealousy because she hated this, she hated being the one left out, and yes she was jealous, jealous of the fun her younger sisters were having with a man that should have been such a big part of her life, a man who should have given her unconditional love, a man who hadn't been there when he was needed.

Mis-trust, how could she help it? She had a huge problem with him turning up the way he did. Why? Why after all these years?

But more than anything she felt the need to protect. Now more than ever, as she watched her sisters, both so happy, both so trusting, both so welcoming. Did neither of them realise just how much they'd hurt if he let them down again?

Prue couldn't see that her sisters were the way they were because of her. She had been the one to hold them, comfort them, love them, she had been the one who had supported and encouraged them to become their own women, she had been the one who had given them the security and confidence to love and be loved. It was so ironic Prue had been the one to build an infrastructure around them that was so strong, so loving that they held no fear of letting people in and yet she was the one who had built the wall, a wall so strong that very few people got over it, the number of people Prue let into her heart could be counted on one hand. At seven years old Prue Halliwell had felt so hurt, so rejected that without even realising it she built a brick wall that might as well have been 100 ft tall, other than the two women who she was watching so closely she trusted no-one. How could she?

All of these feelings came together like a thunderball - anger, an uncontrollable anger burned in Prues gut. She could hardly bear to look at him, he was laughing and joking like it had been yesterday. How dare he?! How could he?!

Prue was on auto-pilot as she made her way over to the table, she watched the shocked expression on Pipers face, she caught the worried expression on Phoebes. She heard him, she could hear his voice - it went through her, it turned her stomach cold.

"Prue! Hey you made it!" So cheerful, so pleased! So like he'd seen her the day before!

Prue couldn't speak she nodded at him, unable to trust herself, Phoebe grabbed her arm.

"Hey Prue, nicely timed, just in time for dessert - typicical!" Phoebe rolled her eyes, Prue knew she was doing her best to difuse the situation, Phoebe knew the look, she knew the facial expression, she knew it too well, it was Prue's totally pissed look.

"Sit down, here come on" Phoebe continued - she sounded like Piper in babble mode "Here look next to me"

Prue didn't respond, she was still staring at her father.

"Prue - hey you are going to join us aren't you?" Him again!

'You are going to join us!' Like she was the stranger! Prue couldn't move she was frozen, for the first time in her life she couldn't speak, it had all seemed so clear in her head, what she was going to say, what she was going to tell him, and now she was frozen her facial muscles unable to move.

"Dad was just filling us in on the last few years" Phoebe babbling again!

"Yeah?" Prue nodded her head - her voice had come back "Tell you where he's been all of your life?" Prue could not hide the bitterness.

"Prue" Piper sounded concerned "Come on"

"Prue leave it"

"Leave it! Oh yeah that's right that's what we're good at in this family isn't it? Leaving things or is that leaving people?!" Prue spat the words out she looked directly at her Father.

Victor Halliwell looked at his eldest daughter, he didn't know what to do or say, he simply didn't know his own daughter well enough to react. He sat dumbfounded, he was struggling to think of something to say, something to calm the situation, a waiter walked past with a lemon meringue balanced at shoulder height, Prue couldn't have planned it better, she didn't even think twice, almost on reflex action her foot went out, the waiter tripped. The Halliwells watched, as if in slow motion, the meringue flew off the plate hovered in mid air before landing unceremoniously in Victor Halliwells lap.

Prue smirked, Phoebe and Piper looked embarrassed - they'd seen Prue do it. Victor was businly wiping himself down, the waiter was red with embarrassment as he looked for a cloth to help clean the customer.

Prue hadn't moved she watched the scene dispassionately. Victor stood up and removed his jacket.

"No harm done, look most of it caught my jacket" Victor smiled at his daughters.

Phoebe still looked embarassed, Piper stepped in.

"Hey, why don't we continue this conversation at home, somewhere less public"

Prue's eyes went wide as she stared at her sister "What?!"

Piper was resolute "I'm not staying here to be embarassed like this" Pipers voice was low but Prue knew she meant business.

Prue nodded as Phoebe stood "Erm I'll go with Dad"

"Yeah, do that - I doubt he remembers the way"

Ouch! Piper shot Prue a look - she knew Prue was on the edge, ignoring Prue's comment she moved quickly "Good idea, here take my car I'll ride with Prue"

Piper caught Prue by the elbow and pushed her towards the door.

"Of all the...." Piper shook her head at a loss for words.

Prue had calmed down slightly she looked at her sister with a wry smile on her face.

"Prue give me the keys" Pipers tone did not put the issue up for debate - her sister was far too worked up to drive, Prue tossed the keys to her sister and took the passenger seat.

Piper climbed in beside her, she had to say it, she knew she couldn't ignore it "Prue just be careful eh?"

Prue looked across at her younger sister, Piper could see the confusion and the mix of emotions running through her head.

"You'll split the family"

"What? Is that what this will come down to?"

"If you carry on like this yes"

"What you and Phoebe would pick him over me?" Prue paused "After all we've been through?"

Piper detected the hurt tone in Prues last sentence.

"No Prue I wouldn't" Piper shook her head "That will never happen, I can't speak for Phoebe but you'd win every time - why push it?"

Piper watched as the tears began to roll down Prues face - she leaned over and took her sister in her arms, Prue pulled back and dried her tears.

"Ok - lets go, lets see what he's got to say for himself"



Phoebe Halliwell was numb it was as though someone had come along and wiped the carpet from under her feet. All through her life her biggest wish, her biggest desire was to feel normal.

For as long as she could remember she had felt a void, a void so big sometimes she thought she would fall into it and never get out. She envied her sisters, her sisters had memories - memories of the two people who should have been key to her life, the two people who should have been there for her, for every twist and turn that life would throw at her. She had been thrown a line, a line which she had grasped with both hands clenched tight - a line which her big sister seemed determined to sever.

It had all been going well, well it had felt strange, but everything had been going fine, that was until Prue showed up. As soon as Phoebe had caught sight of her sister she knew there would be trouble. Phoebe rolled over on the bed where she had taken refuge a few hours ago, a few hours that seemed much longer.

At first Phoebe had been hopeful, by the time she had arrived back at the Manor with their Father Prue was calmer. Prue had gone upstairs to clean up once again leaving her younger sisters with their dad.

Phoebe and Piper had been showing him some old photographs, they'd been laughing as some historic family event, hell he'd even laughed when he had realised that the girls Grams had cut him off the photos - trying to erase all trace of him.

Prue had come back in the room and once again the atmosphere had changed for the worse.

"Sharing memories?"

Phoebe had cringed she could tell by the tone of the voice Prue was not being conversational she waited for the sting and sure enough it followed.

"Well I've got one of my own, your back walking out of that door" Prue had stared hard at their father waiting for a reaction.

She half expected it and he didn't let her down "Maybe I should go"

Prue gave him a triumphant smile "Yeah? There's a surprise, first sign of trouble and you're off"

Victor Halliwell had eyed his eldest daughter trying to measure her up "I'm just trying to get to know my girls"

Phoebe has sucked her breath in she had known as soon as she'd heard the words Prue would take off.

"Your girls?!" Prues voice was incredulous.

"Prue don't, wait let him explain" Phoebe had been desperate, Piper had done nothing she just looked on - letting the scene unfold.

"Dad's explained, he didn't have money, but he does now, he says he'll support me through college"

Pheobe couldn't have said anything worse she watched as her sisters eyes went wide with anger, the blue flashing signalling to all who knew her that she was about to explode.

"Money! Money! You think this is about money?!" Prue was yelling at her little sister.

Phoebe was shaking her head no! no! That wasn't what she meant - she was just trying to show her sister he wasn't out to get anything!

"And you!" Prue had turned her wrath onto her father the one she was really angry with "Don't you dare think you can come here after all these years and buy your way back! Where were you when you were needed?" Prue didn't even give him a chance to answer "Where were you when they were little? Where were you when Piper had three teeth taken out and was up all night coz the pain was so bad. Where were you when she did her recital, when she was in the school play, when she got ready for her prom" Prue was on a roll her attentions turned to Phoebe "Who do you think dragged her up?" Prue pointed a finger in the direction of her youngest sister "Who taught her to read, ride a bike, ice skate, right from wrong. Who do you think had to get her up in the morning, get her ready for school, take her to school, pick her up from school, made sure she did her homework, kept out of trouble, punished her if she did something bad, praised her if she did something good" Prue paused just long enough to get her breath "Who had to stay up all hours of the night with her when she was sick, or upset, who brushed away her tears, who held her and cuddled her, who made her feel safe?"

Phoebe had gone pale - Piper saw Phoebes face, she was the one Prue was hurting not their father, but Prue was too mad to notice.

"Who had to take her everywhere she went, or stay in and babysit, who couldn't have a weekend away because she had to look after her little sister. ME!" Prue screamed the last word at him "And why? Because you bailed, because you couldn't cope! Well guess what after Mum died neither could Grams, but me I was nine by then - she was still a baby, you do the math!"

Prue stood in the middle of the room her body rigid with temper, her eyes were blazing her fists clenched tight.

"I think you should go" Piper had had enough as she said the words Phoebe made a dive for the stairs - she bolted to her room, slammed the door and threw herself onto the bed.

Victor Halliwell left, he gave Piper a peck on the cheek as she showed him to the door.

"Say goodbye for me"

"Is it goodbye?"

"Erm, look - I'll be at the Hotel for another week if you or your sisters want to come over - please do"

"Prue's upset" Piper didn't know what else to say - talk about stating the obvious!

"Prudence always was the tempramental one"

Piper had looked at him without emotion - "She prefers Prue" It wasn't lost on Piper with anyone else it wouldn't matter but this was their father and he didn't even know what to call his eldest child.

Victor had nodded as he made his way to the cab.

Piper took a deep breath - who to go to first! She made her way back to Prue - Prue hadn't moved she was still in the same pose, rigid, fists clenched.

"Prue sit down, I'll be back in a minute I need to check on Pheebes"

Prue went to move towards the stairs, but Piper had had enough, she grabbed her sister by the arm "I mean it Prue! Enough of the drama! You sit there and you wait for me. Got it!"

Prue looked into Pipers face she could see just how serious her sister was, she slowly nodded then made her way to the sofa.

Piper let out the breath she hadn't known she was holding - it took a lot for Piper to get mad but when she did she was a true contender - even with Prue.

Piper didn't bother to knock, it was like stepping back in time to when Phoebe was a kid, she opened the door to her sisters room half expecting to find her little sister in tears rolled up in a ball holding on tight to George her stuffed monkey.

Phoebe didn't look at her sister her back was to the door, she didn't need to look she knew which one of them it would be.

"Leave me Pipe, I just want some time alone"

"Not going to happen Pheebes not for a few minutes anyway" Piper walked over to her sister she reached out and rolled her over, to Pipers surprise Phoebe wasn't crying, she looked pale, slightly shaken but she wasn't crying. Piper held her in a tight hug "She didn't mean it like that" Piper knew why Phoebe was upset, she didn't need to be told.

Pheobe didn't answer, she couldn't she didn't know what to say.

"She didn't Pheebes, she was just making a point to Dad"

"And using me to do it"

"Sort of"

"She kept count?"

"No, don't be daft, Prue did what she did for you coz she loves you not because she had to"

"Didn't sound that way"

Phoebe sounded so hurt, Piper kissed her sister and hugged her even tighter.

"Does she resent me that much?"

"No! You know that's not true...come on babe what's Prues biggest fault?"

Phoebe gave Piper a wry smile "Her rotten temper"

"And her biggest strength?" Piper nudged her little sister, she was smiling at her trying to ease her pain.

"Her little sisters"

Piper giggled - that was such a Phoebe response, Phoebe was grinning back.

Piper kissed her sister once more "Don't be so upset baby, she didn't mean it like that"

Phoebe nodded - she put her arm around her sisters neck and returned the kiss "I love you"

"Love you more"

Phoebe smiled "You can't"

Piper made her way downstairs - although she'd calmed Phoebe she knew she wouldn't feel better until Prue explained to her exactly what she meant. Piper knew Prue inside out and she knew her anger and resentment had been directed at their father, she also knew that Prue was useless at expressing her feelings - it hadn't been lost on Piper that Prues tirade had started off on her sisters behalf. There had been no mention of their Dad missing her life - no Piper could still hear Pues words 'where were you when they were little?' .......what about when she was little!

Piper looked across the room Prue was slumped on the sofa her face in her hands.

"She ok?"

"You can see for yourself if you're that bothered" Piper might of understood but she was still angry.

"Piper! Don't I screwed up, just tell me"

"She thinks you resent her"

Prue looked puzzled.

"Being born, if she hadn't been born you wouldn't have had to give up your life"

"I never said that"

"Might as well have done - very dramatic"

"I never meant to be"

"Oh well! As long as you never meant to be! Christ what the hell were you thinking Prue!"

Phoebe had been thinking long and hard about some of the things her sister had said....they were all true....Prue had described her life accurately. It had been instinct to Phoebe even as a toddler...with no one else to turn to little Phoebe would search for her sister, Piper had told her she'd climb astride Prues knee's facing her sister. Piper said she'd sit there for ages just staring into Prues eyes, Grams had said it was because they were like their Mum's Phoebe must have been searching for her and that was where she found her comfort. Phoebe sighed, Piper said she'd have freaked out if Phoebe had stared at her like that but Prue had just laughed, she would grab her baby sister and hoist her high into the air making her giggle, then she'd bring her down and cuddle her bringing her peace.

Phoebe wiped away a silent tear - so much taken for granted. Prue was right she had always been there for her, she had cleared up after her, held her, comforted her and yes Phoebe knew without a doubt in spite of the way it had all come tumbling out .....loved her.

Phoebe had been so lost in her thoughts she hadn't heard the door open, she jumped startled when she felt a hand on her back, she felt the bed sag as a body climbed behind her, she relaxed as she felt the body press next to hers, the arms embrace her tight, the face next to her resting on her shoulder.

"You know I can be such a shit sometimes"

Phoebe couldn't help it a smile spread across her face "Yes, I do know"

She felt the arms around her tighten even more "I'm sorry"

Phoebe didn't speak, this was all she needed.

"Phoebe, it all came out wrong"

"I'm not sure it did Prue.....I mean what you said....it was all true"

"Maybe it was.....but what I didn't say was that it didn't matter, none of it really mattered, I'd have been there for you anyway...." Prue paused "I love you honey"

"I know"

"Maybe but it mustn't have sounded that way"

"It didn't"

"It's not you I resented, never think that, not ever"

Phoebe was more than a little surprised when she felt the tear land on her neck, she shifted around so she was facing her sister, Phoebe brushed the tears away and held her sister close, just as Prue had done many times throughout her life.

"It's the situation I resented never you.......I hated having to be the authoritarian, not being able to join in and laugh with you at your little scams. Most of the time I was never really that mad at you you know"

Phoebe smiled "Mmmm, how about when I got caught shoplifting with Robbie? or When I got caught smoking? or When I fell out of the window? or When I ..."

Prue smiled back "Stop now while you're winning" Prues smile left her face "Truth is though Pheebes if he hadn't left I wouldn't have had to punish you, the dynamics would have been different, do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, but you know, you'd still be my big sis...I think deep down you would have still insisted on kicking my ass"

"Probably, but sometimes it just made me so sad" Prue was finding it difficult her eyes had filled with tears.

"Why?" Phoebes voice was gentle as she held her sister close.

"Do you remember the first time I spanked you"

Phoebe nodded her head "I was a little cow, I deserved it"

"Maybe but that's not the point ...it shouldn't have been me....it should have been Mum or Dad, but I had to do it. You know I never cried at Mum's funeral but I cried myself to sleep that night"

"I didn't know...but you know something I didn't I was fine, you came back and told me why it had happened and held me, and talked to me and I was fine, Prue you did right"

"I know but I was you're sister! It just brought it home to me that day, you know the responsibility"

"I didn't make it easy did I?" Phoebe grinned at her sister.

"Never, but I always loved you" Prue kissed the top of her sisters head, the sisters snuggled down and drifted to sleep safe in each others arms.



........
Phoebe had been sitting at her desk for hours, she wasn't sure why she was there but she was there. She'd been staring at the paper for at least an hour, it must have been at least an hour since she left the room, the room that was filled with that atmosphere that awful thick, foggy, clingy atmosphere, the atmosphere you could feel, but not see, the atmospere you could breathe but not touch.

It had been an emotional couple of weeks - since that night - the night that Prue had discovered her secret, the night that Prue had discovered she had been in touch with their Dad, and now after two painful, gut wrenching weeks it had felt like things had finally come to a head.

Phoebe had never really understood why her big sister was so furious, furious and bitter, furious, bitter and twisted, Phoebe stopped herself she had to focus. For as long as she could remember Prue had been like an umpenetratable brick wall, at least as far as her missing parent was concerned. Phoebe could never understand - Prue had memories, Phoebe knew she did, she knew from photographs, not from Prue. If you spoke to Prue or asked her anything about their Dad ....well.....it just wasn't worth it. Phoebe knew there would be one of two reactions and neither was satisfactory, at least not to Phoebe. Prue would either get angry, Phoebe could remember that reaction better than any, or she would clam up either way Phoebe never achieved her aim, she never found out anything about their father and it would take ages for Prue to thaw.
No Phoebe learnt from a very early age to leave the subject well alone, and as far as her big sister was concerned that was that, but inside Phoebe was torn. She needed to know, she had no memories of either parent, she lived through her sisters and her sisters had blocked that source, so when Victor Bennet had got in touch with his youngest child Phoebe hadn't been able to resist.

Little had she realised the pain it would cause. She had felt it that night, raw pain. Not for herself.....although that had been bad enough....no the pain she felt was for her big sister, tonight had been a revelation. Tonight had been the night she saw her sisters hurt, hurt that she'd been shielded from all her life, tonight she could have reached out and touched it.

She had known Prue had made an effort, after the night in the restaurant Phoebe had finally got her sister to sit down and listen to her, Phoebe had explained how she had always felt a gap, a gap that had become such a big part of her life that it had to be filled. She had finally gotten thorough to her big sister just how she felt. She wanted to know her Dad. It was that simple, she wanted to know her roots, where she came from, how it all came about, how her Dad met her Mum, how he'd felt when each of his daughters had entered the world. Phoebe had totally focused on the positives, she didn't need to know why he had left, why he had walked out on his little girls, why he had left their Mum. Phoebe wasn't bothered, she just wanted to know her dad, pure and simple.

Only it wasn't she could see that now. This was her doing, it was all her fault, she knew that, she'd provided the opening, and she'd been the one that led her sisters to this hurt and betrayal, she couldn't even think of herself now, she knew whatever she was feeling must be a tenth of the hurt her sisters felt, especially Prue.

A tear trickled slowly down her face and hit the page, she hadn't even known she was crying, angrily Phoebe lifted her hand and brushed away the tears. She picked the pen up and stared at the paper, Prue had tried, Phoebe knew with all her heart, Prue had been as excited as she was that night, they'd reached an understanding, an understanding that had allowed Prue to open the door, Phoebe knew just how much effort Prue had made to put the past behind her. It had all been sorted, tonight was the night that they were going to be officially recognised as a family, Piper had made a special meal, Prue had got the best china and glasses out, they were ready to move on. Phoebe had been so happy, the three sisters had been sat in the lounge waiting for his arrival, all dressed to the nines, all so excited they were unable to speak.

Phoebe could still picture Prue and Piper sat on the sofa waiting, just waiting for the moment they had waited for for twenty years then it had all gone wrong. A knock on the door - a special delivery.

Phoebe could still see Prue's face as she opened the parcel, she'd watched as Prue read the note, she watched as Prue composed herself, she watched as Prue re-erected the wall she'd so recently pulled down.

"He's not coming"

Phoebe could still see their faces - pain - raw pain. She had felt like the bottom had fallen out of her stomach.

"Why?" She remembered asking the question, she couldn't remember why she asked the question, she'd known all along the answer didn't matter, it couldn't matter, the fact was once again he'd let them down.

"Something came up - he's sorry but he thinks its probably for the best - heres what he remembers" Prue had waved a video tape at them "Love Dad"

Phoebe had felt the colour drain from her face, she'd risen as if on auto-pilot, took the tape from Prue and pushed it into the VCR.

It was a collection of home videos - it started with a family holiday, Patty heavily pregnant the girls clearly excited, there was a close up of a 6 year old Prue her head resting on her mothers stomach.

"Hello baby! Hello baby girl!"

Pheobe heard a man's laughter in the background "You don't know that honey, maybe its a boy, maybe its a little brother - I could do with some male company"

Prue giggled as she stroked her Mums tummy "No Daddy! It's a little girl, it's another baby sister!"

Phoebe had watched as a four year old Piper came into view "Yeah Daddy, its a baby girl.......my baby girl!"

Prue had playfully pushed Pipers hand away from their Mum's tummy "No! My baby girl"

"You've got one!" Piper was pouting at her sister

"So!!............ I'll have two!" Prue wasn't about to back down.

"I want one!" little Piper was clearly becoming aggitated.

Prue was still laughing, teasing her sister "Shame"

"No!" Piper had gone to smack Prue but Prue had caught her hand.

"Stop it! We'll share!"

Patty had laughed "So popular and she isn't even here yet!"

Phoebe had watched the video it felt strange being talked about, but nice! Her sisters clearly excited at the prospect of a new baby. Phoebe glanced at her sisters both looked teary eyed. The scene changed to christmas, Phoebe was just over a year old her sisters excited, playing to the camera, opening their presents.

Phoebe watched Prue on the screen, little seven year old Prue, it hit Phoebe like a ton of brick...Prue doted on their dad.....Prue had been a Daddy's girl.

No wonder she'd been so hurt.

Phoebe picked up the pen...................

Dear .....she paused, up until that night she had never hesitated...now it felt different....now everything had changed.
She finally decided ....it had taken ages,

Dear Mr Bennet,

She felt the need to explain.....

I thought about Dear Dad....this may sound harsh but its true..........you haven't earned the right........Dear Victor .....that's what my sisters call you...............that didn't seem right either...........I don't know you well enough........... so what's left?....Mr Bennet, you see that's how I've been brought up, I've been brought up to respect people, I've been brought up to be polite, I've been brought up to watch my manners...but you wouldn't know that you didn't bring me up.

I don't know why but I need to tell you how I feel.........deep down.

Deep down I've always thought I'd got the rough end of the deal. Deep down I've resented not knowing you. Deep down I envied my sisters - they could remember being held in your arms, being tickled, held, loved - deep down I hated not having that.

I watched your video tonight, I watched you play with your daughters, kiss your wife, play the perfect family man..........deep down I know that was what it was.......a play.

My sisters at the ages of 5 and 8 had something that should have been so strong, something that couldn't be broken, something that couldn't be taken away, that something was the love of their Daddy.... you weakened it, you broke it, and finally ......................you took it away.

You asked me to come stay with you, I was so excited, so thrilled, it would be perfect. Me and my Daddy, the father I never knew......deep down I knew it wouldn't happen. You promised me money, college a car, I've no idea why but deep down I knew you were competing with Prue......save yourself the bother, there is no contest, it's a non starter, Prue could give me nothing and still win hands down, you see what Prue gives me.......money can't buy.

What you took away............deep down it was nothing because you left so much behind............two heart broken little girls, hearts broken but not beyond repair, you took away their trust but in doing so that made them strong, protective, loving and loyal...in short the opposite of you

Do you want to know how I feel?....................Deep down................................. I'm the lucky one...............Prue used to say you were a waste of space.............deep down I didn't believe her...........deep down?.............Now I do.

Phoebe brushed her tears away, she had watched that video tonight and realisation had finally dawned....how could her sisters think anything different it had to be a lie, she could think of no excuse, if he had loved them so much how could he have gone? No wonder Prue trusted no-one! She folded the letter and put it in an envelope, not intending to post it, writing it had served its purpose. Her mind was clear. Rising from her desk she made her way downstairs, she went to the Lounge, she knew she'd be there, looking into space, staring into nothing.

She watched as her eldest sister quickly rubbed at her face "Hey beautiful!"

Phoebe returned the smile "Hey gorgeous!"

Prue grinned "Where's the other member of the Mutual Admiration Club?"

Piper was standing in the door she gave her sisters a tearful smile - they'd retreated to their corners, licked their wounds and were ready to bounce back, they'd done it before they could do it again.

That night was a turning point in the sisters lives. Phoebe had buried her romanticised image of her dad, the girls had seen him for what he was, a line had been drawn. They all understood - the past was past.

Phoebe snuggled down in her bed - the night had been good after all.........she closed her eyes and thought about what she felt 'deep down' deep down she hoped there would be a place in their lives for their father, he could never make up for what he'd done, but hell deep down she knew he'd paid the price, deep down she knew he knew it too. He'd missed out on a family, a family who had come through so much together and were stronger for it. A family with so much love at times it was as though you could touch it.

Deep down? Deep down Phoebe felt overwhelmed, overwhelmed with love for the two sisters who had played such a major part in her life, and that gap....deep down it had never existed.

THE END.