Some think their lives would be easier if they got their wish. I learned that
year, nine years ago as I look back now. It doesn’t make it easier at the least
it makes it more complicated. When she disappeared, I wished so hard, I
promised everything I owned and sometimes everything I loved, to get her back.



My name is Prue Halliwell. I’m grown up now, an adult on her own. However, I
think I really grew up nine years ago, when I was eighteen, since that day, the
day that I lost my sister.



It was October of my senior year. I was at the height of my life, whether I admitted it then. I was the captain of the varsity cheerleading squad, and the president of my class. My father was finally home, as in in the area as oppose to half way around the world. My sister Piper had grown out of a funky insecure stage and was now approaching the 24/7 horny stage, but she was one of the two best things in my life. She and I were closer than ever. But my life was perfect, overall. And in a comparison to what it is now, it couldn't have been better.



My parents divorced when I was young. Six years later, they still managed to
have my youngest sister Phoebe. I was extremely embarrassed at first to tell my friends my mom was pregnant, but I got over it. Life went on.



I remember that day exactly. I was coming home school and it was soon before
Halloween, decorations were up and my mom had been collecting candy for months.
As I pulled up to the curb, my mother and grandmother were rushing out of the
house to do . . .something, I only now can guess where they were going. Phoebe
was still at the babysitter's and Piper was at some extra-curricular thing. I
immediately took advantage of having everyone out of the house and I went to
Andy's.



I was there for about an hour and a half and then as I walked home, I can't
explain it to this day, there was something wrong . I ran home and there was a
policeman in front of my house. Piper pulled up right then on her bike and ran
to my side. We both stared at the officer, there was something wrong.



I thought it was Mom or Grams and even thought it might be Dad, but I never
thought . . . . It never entered my mind. The officer, he was tall and in his
mid forties, sat us down on the front steps to our Victorian House. I kept
looking at the officer. His hair wasn't colored like Dad's was, it was gray. I
noticed his gun and wondered if he ever used it. I wonder now if these kind of
random thoughts enter people's minds in situations like this; Piper is convinced
that they don't.



As he opened his mouth, another car drove up. It was my dad. He ran out of
the car, barely making eye contact with us he gripped the officer. I had never
seen my dad like that. His body language said he was angry, his eyes, though,
only contained fear. I stood up trying to get my father to let him go.




"This better be a prank!" he said sternly as he still gripped the man. The
officer looked straight back at him. He grip slowly loosened as he stuttered and
shook his head, ". . .It's a . . prank . . . it's not true. . .she's okay. . .I
know she is. . . she's okay."



I looked back at Piper. Through her confused eyes, I think she knew what the
officer was going to tell us.



"Your sister is missing." I couldn't gather completely everything he said after
that only little bits and pieces. ". . . walked from daycare . . . by herself. .
. .bag found . . . will do our best. .. . sorry."



Some people told me that in that situation themselves, all they thought was
denial, all I thought was shame and defeat. It echoes through my mind: We would
never find her. While I was fooling around with my boyfriend, my sister was
taken.



I looked back at Piper. Tears were streaming down her face. I knew then that
my parents wouldn't give up. And that one look at Piper made me want to fight
with everything I could to get Phoebe back. But . . . I will never forget the
one moment where I thought . . .or I knew. . that we were never going to find
Phoebe. She had just turned six the day before.

The rest of the day was a blur. We found out that Phoebe had decided to go
home by herself; I always thought that that was a given, but that was just me. She had been bugging us for the past few weeks to walk home like Piper and I used to. We always told her no, we even were having problems getting her not to wonder off and do so.



In a way, it was as if my family expected her to walk home by herself. She would get yelled at and sent to her room after one of us went to find her and she wasn’t there. She was okay though. The what-ifs would run through our minds, but they would be just that: what ifs. Phoebe would be upstairs pouting in the safety of her own room. However, she did and something happened. and the what-ifs were instead replaced with why?



My mother blamed, and maybe still does blame, herself for not talking to Phoebe
more about the dangers of going off by herself. It came so unexpected on an any
other day. No one could have prevented it. Someone suggested to us to press
charges to Maria, the babysitter, but the problem was we were all too busy
blaming ourselves and trying to figure out what went wrong to blame her. No
charged were ever filed.



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Phoebe’s head laid on my stomach.


"Hey Prue."


"Yeah?"


"What happens on a cloud?"


"I don’t know. I think time stands still there, but at the same time the cloud continues to move around the earth."


"Huh?"


"Like slow motion."


I suddenly sat up in bed to a dark bedroom. On a cloud, I shook my head. So that was where I had been.



~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~::~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~



After she had been missing for twelve hours, an officer told us what they
guessed had happened. Phoebe, being very intelligent, planned this. She knew
when she could leave and no one would see: when the other children were being
picked up. She left and took a bus to our side of town. She was last seen on
Lancaster Drive by Mr. Penniert. She had disappeared in 5 blocks from our house.



A month went by, well . . . .28 days. It still baffles me that I remember that. Everyday seemed the same; once a week went by I only that a day had been. People who I should have known were showing up on our doorsteps with food and "support." I don’t think they ever helped.


I could barely get dressed in the morning, and when I did finally get to school my friends were "understanding." They began to stop hanging out with me, after a few weeks. My turmoil became too much for them. Some how I don’t know how, maybe because of my vice president, my best friend I managed to maintain my place as president in my respected positions. At that point I couldn’t give a shit about it, now I think people didn’t fire me because they felt bad for me . . . I never talk to her anymore, my best friend from high school. My responsibilities were still there but it seemed as if I never did them, I went but I didn’t, like I was never there.


I laughed one day and I still and never could remember why. I burst into tears right there. Knowing that she may out there, hurt or crying and I was laughing, . . . it didn’t seem fair. I still picture Phoebe walking through the door as if nothing happened. As if she was just in the front yard. I would yell at her and people would drown her in their kisses and hugs. But she would be okay, I kept telling myself she was. However, I just kept on thinking that she wasn’t.



My parents were fighting more, but my dad was always at the Manor. It was a nice difference that I was too afraid to get attached to. Piper and I not only slept in the same room but now she always slept in my bed. We never talked about it really, she just always crawled into my bed at night before I went to bed.



I remember one night as we were laying in bed, another sleepless night, she laid cuddle up against chest. She began talking to me into the darkness.



"She told once that the place she hoped when you died you could be in the clouds," she said quietly. "When we went on the place last summer to Sara’s wedding, her favorite part was going through the clouds. . . . I asked her why later. She told me . . . she told me she would be in a place where no one could see her on earth, but sometimes she could see them. She was in the middle and she could hide from heaven, until out turn."


I stayed silent. I think I realized then that we were all in the clouds; we all in the middle, too afraid to sway from one possibility to the other. I think Piper was waiting for some words of assurance, words of comfort. I didn’t what to say, because I didn’t know what think. Search parties were dwindling; people were talking to us as if Phoebe was dead; police were stopping by less often. People were loosing hope, and so was I.


Some how like every other night I managed to fall asleep; my eyes shot open. The telephone was ringing. It only rang once and I could hear my mother pick up.


"What!. . .Oh my god . . .okay . . . okay . . we’ll be right there." She hung up. "Victor. VICTOR! They found her. Where are the damn keys?"


I scrambled out of bed with Piper on my heals. We ran down the stairs but Grams stopped us.


"Girls," she called after us. " Why don’t you stay here."


Piper knew why they didn’t want us to come, I could see it in her eyes.


"I need to see her, we need to see her," she said in her only calm stern voice.


Grams could only look at her sadly.





We arrived at the hospital on my parents heals. We were sent to the waiting room. My father was ranting about how crazy and dumb hospital waiting rooms were. My mother was interrogating the nurse about her lack of humanity. Piper just sat there watching the door. She saw it. She saw the room where Phoebe was. She saw the policemen at the door. She the little lump at the end of the bed where Phoebe’s feet was. Piper used to be sensitive about everything. It still takes a lot to make her cry.



After the doctors talked to my parents, basically ignoring the rest of us, she came to us, I broke down in the first sentence, I somehow knew what was coming. Piper stayed strong. Usually it was the opposite but . . . .They found her by a small river bed on the outskirts of Oakland, left for dead. She was found fairly bruised and cut up. Phoebe had always been the tough one in the family, but when she scared, you knew it. She had a broken wrist and her arm had been dislocated but put back in place. There was no head trauma or any long term physical damage


She was awake. And her physical injuries wouldn’t prevent her from holding her in the hospital for more than a couple days. But there was one problem: she wouldn’t talk to anyone.

We could bring Phoebe home later that week. My parents asked if Phoebe was sexually assaulted. I never was told the answer. People who knew Phoebe before, who knew us before, felt really uncomfortable, and I did too, at first. She could hear us. It was obvious to our family. One could see it in her eyes.



Her beautiful chocolate brown eyes used to have the spark. It was no longer there. She just looked at you now; I could no longer read her like I used to I always used to be able to. Now I couldn’t.



My father carried her into the house. The rest of us followed him in. There was a new silence that settled on my family. No one knew what to say, so no one said anything. Phoebe had her head resting on my father’s shoulder. Her eyes looked at me. They were thinking but they were still unreadable.



My father set her on the dinning room table like he always did when he came home with her in his arms. He gave a smile like it was every other. He looked in to Phoebe’s emotionless face.



"Hey kiddo. You want some real food? I think Mommy and your sisters are hungry too. What do you want for lunch, honey?" No answer.



I knew what he was trying to do. Even when Phoebe was healthy she would never fall for that that easily. Mom went straight into the kitchen followed by Grams. My father had made sure Phoebe was the first in his arms. He thought Phoebe would talk if only he was there. He wanted to forget it ever happened. My mother knew we had to deal with the head on. We had face what happened.



It wasn’t until later that I really understood what happened those twenty-eight days that Phoebe was missing. It came back in bits and pieces, slowly. I felt so out of it when it really happened that one sometimes can’t deal with something until one makes themselves remember.



Phoebe stared back at my father as I predicted. As I set the bags at the door, I wrapped my arm around Piper who watched the scene before us. My father took Phoebe’s hands in hers.



"C’mon, honey, just tell Daddy what you want." No answer. My father gripped his jaw, his first sign of serious frustration. He went on gently "Phoebe, talk to Daddy. I know you can hear me."



Our dog, Rasputin came trotting down the stairs. He saw Phoebe and began barking with excitement. At the sound of the bark Phoebe burst into hysterical, frightened sobbing. Giving up, my father took Phoebe in his arms and tried to calm her.



"Piper, get that damn dog out of here," my father barked as Phoebe’s crying never didn’t cease.



His barking however caused Phoebe to cry more. Piper was never yelled at by my father. She had always been the favorite. She grabbed the dog fighting back tears and took a leash and headed back out the door. I took looked after her for a moment and then I looked back at my father and Phoebe. I grabbed my coat and ran to catch up with Piper.



I finally caught up with her a little down the road. She wiped her tears quickly as she heard me approach. I didn’t say much when I got to her, we just simply walked along next to each other, letting Rasputin lead us.



"It’s not going to help is it?" she asked quietly as we stopped for a moment.


"What?" I answered, hoping she would look at me. She didn’t.


"Having her back." I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything at all. "I wished that she would come home so badly. I wished and wished. And she did. I used to think that it would help us, but now I’m afraid it won’t help us . . or her."


We started to walk again. Finally we turned around and headed toward Prescott Street. As we came to our house, she spoke again.


"Things will never be okay, will they Prue?"


I stopped in my tracks. I had been so unsure of everything for the longest time, but for the first time in over a month, I remembered something. I was still the big sister. Piper was still here. I had to be there for her.


"Yes, they will," I said seriously. "Honey, this is going to be hard. I know it is, but we’ll be okay. Phoebe will be okay, but we can’t push her. Everyone will deal with this differently. It won’t be the same, but things will be okay."


Looking down at my feet for a few seconds as I always did after giving a heartfelt speech, I waited for a reaction. Finally I turned and headed for the front steps, then I felt in mine. Thing will be okay.



Late that night after a tense dinner and everyone was asleep. I crept down stairs to watch some late night talk shows. I stopped at the landing of the stairs. There was a light on in the kitchen. Ever since Phoebe was taken we had all been somewhat paranoid at everything.


I crept around the corner quietly and toward the kitchen. There standing on the counter was phoebe trying to reach up and get the cereal. As I stepped into the room she jumped.


"Hey honey," I said with a smile. "Sorry I scared you. What are you doing?"


For a moment there I had forgotten. My sister doesn’t talk. I let her get down on her own as I grabbed a water from the fridge.


"I’ll be in the other room if you need me," I said quietly as I left.


I was only on the couch for a few minutes when Phoebe came in with a few Cheerios in her palm. To my surprise I held out my arms to her silently and she came. Her solemn, emotionless look still on her face she came to me. I placed her on my lap and eventually she leaned against me.


She was so small. She was so quiet, so lost.


As I closed my eyes, I felt sleep take me over. My eyes suddenly flashed open. I heard something. Squeezing Phoebe tighter as if making sure she was still there and she was, I held as still as I could. It was foot steps stepping rhythmically down the hall upstairs. Phoebe was shaking in my arms.


I began to panic, I didn’t know how to protect her. I heard them now coming down the stairs, one foot then the other. They stopped when they reached the landing, I held her tighter in my arms. The light flickered on. I topped breathing.


"Prue?" I breathed a sigh of relief.


It was Piper.


"Honey, you scared me," I said as I sat up.


"I’m sorry," she mumbled as she turned to leave.


"You want to stay down here with us? We can pop in a movie or something."


I felt as if I lost Piper too. She was still here, still with me, but it wasn’t the same, nothing was. She shrugged and came to join us. She sat in the lounge chair. I knew Piper better than anyone. I think she was afraid of Phoebe. I don’t know how, but I think she thought it better if she just stayed away, as if she were afraid that she would make it worse.


"What do you want to watch?" I asked Phoebe. Nothing. "Do you want Piper to pick, or me?" Still no answer. "Pip, why don’t you pick?"


"You can, Prue, I don’t mind."


I didn’t argue. I set Phoebe down and popped in a movie. Piper was asleep first. I tried to keep my eyes awake until Phoebe feel asleep, I couldn’t fight it, I finally feel asleep with Phoebe in my arms, unsure on whether or not she was awake.


I had a dream for a first time in years, or at least one that I could remember. It was memories.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:


"9 . . . . . 10! Ready or not hear I come!" I yelled and I went in search of my sisters.


I looked around and under things as I loudly passed through each room. I finally spotted Phoebe in he sun room behind the flowerpot. She was covering her eyes and trying her very best to suppress her fit of giggles.


"I wonder where Phoebe is?"


She had come up with this new thing that if she couldn’t see us we couldn’t see her. The Through up her hands in surprise.


"Here I am!" she giggled.


I acted surprised.


"Oh my goodness," I exclaimed. "Phoebe you’re such a good hider. You wanna help me find Piper?"


And we went on search of Piper.


My dream flashed and appeared somewhere else. Piper was at my side and we were looking for Phoebe in these dark woods. Piper was panicking.


"Where is she Prue? She knows not to hide here."


Suddenly we see Phoebe round the corner, smiling and fine, only before a man dressed all in black snatched her up and into his arms. He then disappears from our sight.


~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:


"No!" I yell opening my eyes.


I suddenly hear my father yelling at the other room at my mother. I was back to reality. Not that it was better or worse than my dream: Phoebe was still lost, and so was everyone else.

I stroked Phoebe’s bangs as I listened to my parents’ voices. Their fighting was something I was used to. Their forms of communication in the form of arguing and screaming at each other was the only was they knew. Things were good after Phoebe was born. The fighting stopped. While Phoebe was gone there was no fighting, there was just silence. My parents practically tiptoed around each other as if they were afraid to say her name.



"We can’t ignore this!" my mother screamed.



"I’m not sending her to some therapist so they can pry her apart!"


"If we give her time then she could . . . we could lose her even more. If we . . ." My mother’s voice was calm and stern.


"Damn it, Patty! We’re going to fix this here, at home. We’re going to get the family back together."


"Don’t you dare lecture me! She’s my daughter and I will NOT lose her again!"


"They’re in the other room for Christ’s sake, Patty. They’re all sound asleep."


I heard my mother slam down a chair most likely she was getting up from her seat. Trying to keep her voice down she continued.


"That’s not the point, Victor." She sighed. Her voice softened." When I went to check on the girls and Phoebe wasn’t in her bed . . . .Victor, I don’t think I would be able to handle it if . . ."


I shut my eyes quickly as I heard my father go out back and my mother come into the room. The kissed the top of each one of me and my sisters’ heads.


"Goodnight, faker, I love you," she whispered in my ear.



She could always tell when I was away.


Piper laid cuddled up against me. It was past midnight. I felt Piper jump in my arms. She rolled over a few minutes later.


"I had a dream," she said quietly into the night air.


I know people dream every night but lately I’d been remembering, and so had Piper. She tilted her head so she could see her eyes. I propped her head up on her hand.


"It was another memory. One of those forgotten ones, you know?" Piper looked over at me. She went on. "It was a few weeks before she . . . you know. I was, um holding her hand, and we were waiting at the bottom of the bleachers for you. Mom wanted me to go get the keys from you and Phoebe wanted to come with. I was standing there her hand in mine, I was so irritated. I mean that was the day you were mad at . . . something, and you were ignoring me. Remember?"


I looked away as Piper went on.


"She asked me if you were going away. . . . for college, I think she meant. I told yes. She didn’t say anything for a little while. Then she called my name for attention and I was annoyed.. . . I kind of barked at her. She didn’t really notice though. She asked me if you would forget her. I didn’t know what to say, . . . so I didn’t say anything." I turned back to Piper in surprise, so it seemed to run in the family. "Then she told me that she loved you but she was afraid to tell you, and sometimes afraid to talk to you. But you know what I did instead of comfort her?" Piper’s tears began to well up. "All I kept on thinking . . . was if she ever thought that about me. . . or if I ever thought that about you. I’m screwed up, Prue."


Tears feel down Piper’s cheeks. I sat up and pulled Piper into her lap. I combed her long, dark hair with my hand


" Shhh . . . it’s okay . . . it’s okay," I said as blinked back my own tears. "You’re not screwed up, honey. You’re just . . . normal."


"Thanks, Prue that helps," Piper said through her quiet sobs.


"I mean I know it doesn’t all help to know that everyone goes through some adolescent shit, but honey, . . . .I’ve figured out that it’s okay to think about yourself, don’t be ashamed of it. And honey, this is you, you’re the most wonderful person, beside Phoebe, that I know. You’re smart and beautiful, and the most unselfish person I have ever met. You’re not screwed up. If someone in this little sisterhood of our is screwed it’s me by a long shot."


I wipes her tears and she gave me a smile. She smiled back at me.


"Thanks that’s good to know."


She leaned back and for the first time, I feel right asleep, . . . and so did Piper.


------------------------------------```````````````````````````````-----------------------------------

I woke up to the sound of rocks against my window. Opening my eyes, I slowly got out of bed. It was Saturday mid-morning, kids were already out in the street playing ball. It was Andy. I opened the window. Things had been weird between me and Andy lately. It had been hard.


"Can you come down?" he asked me.


I turned and looked at Piper’s sleeping form. I thought as if I had to choose. It was Andy or my sisters. However, that only lasted a moment. It was one of those thoughts that comes in and out of your mind. I nodded and went to meet him.


We stood awkwardly looking at each other. He had his hands in his pockets. He was nervous, or uncomfortable, or both. He came to me and touched my cheek. I pulled away. He looked hurt, but tried not to show it.


"How you holdin’ up, honey?" he asked gently.


"Okay . . I guess," I replied.


There was a long pause. He must have read me like he always did.


"I’ve been calling you, your family, you don’t return my calls," he turned in frustration." I know this is hard. I really do. I know. I’ve tried, Prue. . . . But I think it would be best if I . . .if I just. . . .get out of your way for a little while."


I watched him look at me, desperate for an answer, some sign of a response. He fought back tears as I didn’t say anything. I don’t know what my face said, but with all my might I wanted to tell him that I wanted him to stay. I loved him and I wanted him with me. I didn’t say anything though. I just stood there looking at him.


He ran his hands through his hair. He had backed away slightly as we, or he, had talked. He came up close to me, put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.


"I’m sorry, Prue. I . . . I can’t fix it; and I want to so bad. I think, no, I know it’ll be better, if I go, I’m draggin’ you down, Prue." I still just looked at him. It’s true silence can be the most hurtful response. He gave me a peck on the cheek. "Bye, Prue. I’ll see you around."


I watched as he walked away. My last few pieces of my old life were leaving me, or I thought, but I really pushing them away. It was and is hard for us to go through something so life changing, while we’re growing up, and everything is changing anyway.


I made my way back to my room. I sunk down the floor in the hall. Tears began to fall uncontrollably from my eyes. Sobs began to overtake me, my body eventually rested on the floor. Every time I began to think about why I was crying it kept leading to other thinks that led me to more tears. I thought about all the little girls that were taken every day, all the childhood experiences that I know Phoebe would never have, all the times I know that my family will never be able to be okay, all the things I would never have, and all the worries Piper would have to deal with. I began to loose track of time. My tears became never ending.



I felt a little hand touch my back. I realized I was now lying on the ground of the hallway, I never made it to my room. I sat up and began to wipe my eyes. Sometimes you just need to cry.


"It’s okay, Prue."


I felt my heart stop. My head tilted toward the little voice. It was Phoebe. I grabbed her and began hugging her. I began to smother her with kisses. Tears began to fall freely. Phoebe just stayed somewhat limp in my arms, semi-oblivious of the happiness she had given me. She hadn’t talked for over a month, and most of us had given up on her ever talking again.

"MOM! DADDY! PIP!!" I called.


I cupped Phoebe’s face as they came running to the hall. She just looked at them all like nothing had changed.


"What, Prue? What is it?"


"She. . . She talked."


My mother knelt down next to her and pulled her into her arms. My father began to coax her.


"Did you talk, baby? What did you say, honey? Tell Daddy what you said."


There was a pause. Phoebe looked at everyone around her.


"I just told her ‘it’s okay.’ ’’ she said simply.


As my parents embraced her again, I noticed Piper had stepped back a little bit. She knew that there were so many more obstacles. I watched her slowly go back to her room. I followed her.


"It’s not going to help, Prue," she said. "She still screwed up, you know."


I looked at her, I knew she was right. I didn’t know what to say, but I said anyway.


"Well, she’ll be a blabber mouth little again."


Piper smiled a little bit. We looked up as we heard steps run down the stairs. My parents were going to call everyone they knew no doubt. Another silence feel over us. I looked up and saw Phoebe with her hand resting on the door handle.


"Hey, kiddo, c’m’ere."


I boosted Phoebe up into my arms. She stretched over and reached to Piper. I gave her to Piper. She hugged Piper for a bit.


"Are you mad at me?" she asked, still in her quiet semi-monotone kind of way, like her face had read this past month or so.


Piper looked at me for help but I smiled, signaling her that she could answer herself.


"No, not at all."


"Good."


Eventually, we all laid down on Piper’s bed. Phoebe in the middle and Piper and me on either side.


"Piper?"


"Yes, Phoebe?"


"Will things be like they were before?"


I looked over at Piper. Those questions young siblings ask older siblings. They were desperate cries for hope, even though one may already know the answer.


"Maybe," Piper said, "but no matter what, you’re okay, you’re safe."


Phoebe cuddled up against her.


"Okay, I was just checking."


I smiled at Piper.


"Hey, Prue."


"Yeah, Pheebs."


"Just because I talk now, doesn’t mean I have to answer Daddy’s dumb questions, right?"


I laughed. Wow, I had to think of the last time I had laughed.


"Not if you don’t want to, honey."



Things didn’t change dramatically after Phoebe started talking again. They changed really slowly, actually. Phoebe still had that look, as if she lost. She talked a little at first. a few sentences a day. My father had a date with us every Saturday. We would go out and have just a day of girls. Now it has become an every-fourth-of July thing, but that’s close enough.


Looking back on it now, I realize that we were all lost in a sense, and this is what brought us back but not before going through a load of hardship. And we all had our share of that. Every Halloween is still hard and we still are way overprotective of Phoebe. Piper and I learned that year how to put up a wall against the world, and how to take it down. We have been the closest of sisters, but now it’s not just two of us but three.


I told piper never to grow up completely and I’m glad to say that she kept her promise, she’s now 23. She’s one of the two strongest women that I’ve met. She beats whatever comes her way. However, none short of our Halliwell sister crying sessions. I learned then and I know now that it’s good and it’s okay to just cry.


It’s Thanksgiving and I just came home a few hours ago. Piper drove with me. Even though Piper and I live a few miles away, Thanksgiving is a big thing for us. It’s like coming home for the first time.


Mind you that nothing in my family is perfect, far from it. My mother just remarried this man, named Sam. He’s a really nice guy, my father left for another woman. And Phoebe. . . Phoebe is Phoebe.


She’s still slightly more confused and ahead of everyone in her class. She’s taking driver’s ed. We joke now that we thought it was scary that she was missing, until now. People wouldn’t think we would joke about it, but I finally told someone that just because we went through a load of shit doesn’t mean we don’t have a sense of humor. They didn’t get it.


If looked at our family portrait now, one would never think what happened to us nine years earlier. We weren’t healed, but were okay. Phoebe still has those memories about that time she was gone. Therapists have pieced together what had happened and still some.


They guessed that there was more than what had happened. The way Phoebe described the men that took her this wasn’t the first time they had taken children like Phoebe. However, all of their victims had been killed but someone eventually found their conscience. Thus then ditching Phoebe leaving her for dead.


When they took in a few guys later and Phoebe and I happened to be in the station. Phoebe recognized him and her recognized her. He according to what Andy’s father told me he confessed that they were going to kill her, but for some reason he couldn’t. He said it was her eyes. Doctors collaborated and finally discovered what made Phoebe mute was the killing of two men that she saw. It still haunts her today, but she’s okay. she doesn’t wallow in her self despair, she barely even talks about it, though occasionally she wallows. However, she wallows in sister fights, homework, and love woes. Rumor has it she has a way with the boys and it scared the hell out of me and my father.


"I would like to propose a toast," I said to the full table of friends and family at the traditional dinner. "To my family look at the wonderful dorks we have become. To my husband, Andy, not that you guys don’t know his name, you are the best man I have ever met. To my sisters may we always goof balls. There are many things we have all been through and I never even thought this is what it would be like. Thanks, . . for making it, for living life."


I guess they were seeing a different side of me. I never spoke from my heart in public.


"For living life," Phoebe said raising her glass. Piper raised hers.


I smiled. They had always been there for me, and we would always be there for each other.



"For living life." The clings of glasses echoed through the manor.