Disclaimer: I do not own them. They belong to the WB.


This is alternative.
An Ode To the End
She tapped her pencil on her blank pad. Her college essay needed to be mailed. She had barely started.
"‘Tragedy makes you stronger.’" she began. "Whoever uttered those words never experienced anything. However, I am sad to report that this is true. It forces you to be strong, but the option of allowing yourself to turn into mush and pull a pile of dirt on top of you is always an option. The intentions of this young writer is not to spark sympathy for oneself and guilt, but to remind the results of tragedy
We hear about tragic things all the time, on television and in the papers. It doesn’t go away, it just disappears from the headlines. Nothing really has a happy ending. This is mainly due in part to the fact that there is no true ending, only, however, places where the conflict end. . . and another begins."
She sat quietly in the love seat. It sounded like a rant, nothing more. The house was quiet as it had been for the last eight years. The year was almost up. It had two more days. She ran her hand through her hair. Things had been hard as always this time of year, but what isn’t hard? It only takes a moment for things to change. A change that can be forever. It all began the day after Christmas eight years ago
The day after Christmas, the day we collect ourselves and lounge around the house, while others go a grab everything off of the shelf at the stores who had just opened their grand after Christmas sales. She was up in her room finding places for all of her presents that were received the day before. There was a small knock on the door.
"Sweetie, I’ll be back in a bit. Your sisters are downstairs. Make sure they don’t burn the house down."
She followed her down the hallway trying to sum up the word to ask. Finally as she began putting on her coat she said them.
"Grams?" She turned. "She’s not coming home is she?"
The old woman stopped and looked at her granddaughter. Giving a weak smile she placed a kiss on her head.
"No, I guess she’s not." Her voice perked. "Maybe you can give her a call."
And she was out the door.
She stood quietly at the door, feeling semi-out of place. As if on queue, her sister came running down the stairs and her other sister in toe.
"Hey we’re going to find some Christmas presents, you want to tag along?" she asked as she handed the younger her coat.
"It’s after Christmas."
"Well, yeah, but we never see anyone, besides you guys, until after. Why buy Christmas presents before when they are so much cheaper afterwards." Prue grabbed the keys. "Well, are you comin’?"
She gave a weak smile and all three of them headed out the door.
She remembers that afternoon better than any day. They had had a successful shopping trip and were just heading home. She was fighting sleep in the backseat and her sister sat in her booster seat next to her. The light turned green; it was clear to go. Prue pressed on the gas and came into the intersection. Suddenly a driver came out of nowhere and side scraped our jeep sending us out of our lane. They screamed until the jeep came to a quick halt. It took a few moments until Prue could regain herself. When she finally regained her senses she turned to her sisters in the back seat to make sure they were alright.
"You guys okay?"
Both were silent. Panic began to set in. Cell phone had not been invented yet. She couldn’t get to them without getting out. Her door was jammed she couldn’t get out.
"Damn it!" she banged with no avail on her door.
She looked around to see if anyone saw the accident. No one was moving or coming to see if they were okay. People were just driving by. This is when her hope in the human race began to fade. For the first time in years tears began to fall as she tried to climb over the to passenger door to get out. The door finally gave way and she got out. First she tried to open the back seat. It hadn’t been hit so it opened easily. The girls were still silent.
Still no one had stopped. No one had even blinked. Determined she went to the first car at the red light.
"I need help! Please go call an ambulance my sisters are hurt!" The driver looked up in shock. The light turned green and he sped away. A fresh batch of tears began to fall again. "Can’t anyone help me? Is this not the place where dreams come true? God damn it! Someone help!"
She ran back to the car. The girls were still breathing but they wouldn’t wake up. She burring her head and began to sob. Then she heard it. . . . an ambulance.
She opened her eyes. She sister was in front of her.
"Hi."
"Hey."
"You okay?"
"Yeah, other than a few scratches."
"Am I okay?"
"You’re good, you just had a little concussion."
She looked around. Where was her other sister?
"Is she—’’
"They haven’t told me anything," she said quietly. She looked up and said quietly, but hopefully, "Grams is on her way."
"Is—’’
"I don’t know."
For the first time she saw her older sister at a weak point. She was on the verge of tears and could barely hold it together. The stayed like that, one in the bed and one in the chair, for another couple hours.
"You don’t understand! Where are my girls?"
Grams.
They both looked up as she was lead into the room, with a rather sheepish nurse behind her. She looked at them graciously like she always did. She hugged. There were tears and explanations.
"So where is she?"
"We don’t know."
"Well, let me tell you we’re going to find out."
All three looked up. There was the fourth standing in the doorway. She had been away for a year or so. As Piper laid in the bed she noticed how her sister had aged. When she left she was eighteen, now she was older, different but the same.
Hours later the doctor walked in. Everyone held their breath.
"She’s fine. We’re bringing her down now."
"Wait a minute, we’ve been waiting for over six hours, and she’s fine. What took so long? You can’t keep people waiting like this."
The doctor looked at the four women in front of them.
"Well, . . .the accident cause any injury, but we found something. No one noticed it before because no one was looking, but we took an x-ray to make she there were no broken bones. We found something. We think it this new disease. It was just named----’’
"Spit it out damn it! Tell us what is wrong."
"We think she has AIDS."
"What the hell is that?" Prue blurted out.
"It’s transmitted through the blood, or body fluids. It slowly shuts down your body basically. There is no cure. I’m sorry."
Silence fell on the room.
"How much time does she have left?" Paige asked, she hadn’t even taken off her jacket since she walked in.
"A few months."
"How the hell did she get it?" Prue asked in quiet furry.
"She was given a blood transfusion when she was two. Remember, Prudence." Grams voice was shocked. She couldn’t believe this.
The room fell silent again. Piper looked at everyone. No one was crying just in shock. No one knew about this disease then.
"Does she know?" Piper asked.
"No."

It had always been the five of them: the four sisters and Grams. It wasn’t
until a few years ago when the oldest, Paige, moved out. The story of their
parents never really wrenched them apart. Paige’s father had died soon after
her birth. Their mother remarried and had Prue soon after, then Piper. They
got divorced soon after Piper’s sixth birthday. Joint custody brought the
family Phoebe soon after. Their father disappeared after their mother died.
Grams was left with four grandchildren aging from fifteen to just a few months.
The three elder girls, all fairly close in age had always been close. They had
been together through a lot of the family’s hardships. Phoebe was the
"surprise". It took a few years for things to get to where they were now:
comfortable, happy. But now with another bomb freshly dropped, the hopes of
repairing its damage were close to none.
She sat looking out the window at the city, hearing her grandmother and her
sisters argue with the doctor. She always found it funny when they would argue
in another room near by, rather than in front of her. She could still hear
them. What difference did it make? In addition to that, she was no longer a
child; she was fifteen. (From the love seat, she remembered that moment, that
moment when she had no more grown to do and that she was all grown up. She
shook her head with a slight smile. She was far from right.)
"Hey, sweetie," said a voice in the door bring her out of her thoughts.
She took a seat on the edge of her bed. They sat the quietly.
"She’s probably really scared," Piper said not taking her eyes off of the
window.
" Yeah, she probably is." Paige began combing Piper’s hair out with her hand.
"She doesn’t know where she is, or what’s going on. . . ." Piper finally
looked at her sister in the eye. " I miss you."
"I missed you too."
"No, I miss you how you used to be. How things used to be."
Paige looked at her little sister. She didn’t know where to begin.
"Well, sweetie, we should know by now that things change. I miss a lot of
things too. . ." Paige stood up. " I’m sorry."
She started to leave the room.
" Paige." She turned. " Do you think she’s okay?"
Paige looked back at her sister. She didn’t know. She didn’t have any idea.
All she knew was another person in her life was going to die. Her father first
then her mother, now her sister. She just knew loss; she knew no reason. She
was just familiar with the result. However this was different. Phoebe had
barely lived her life and she was going to loose it. It was causing a different
type of ache.
Tears began to form in Paige’s eyes. Piper always knew her sisters as strong.
She had never seen either one of them cry. She had heard it from another room
but she had never seen it.
"I don’t know. I hope so." Paige placed a kiss on her head. " I have to . . .
I’ll be right back."
"Where is she?" Prue asked the doctor out in the hallway as her grandmother went after Paige who came out of the room in tears.
"We’re doing some more tests on her. She’s one of the few cases where it has
occurred in children. We just----’’
"She’s four," Prue said softly, and surprisingly gently for the first time in the entire time that the doctor knew her. "She turned four. Tell the truth, will any medical care help her?"
"Well, . . .some can help delay it, but no. I’m sorry."
"Stop telling me you’re sorry for me! I’m eighteen and I’ve lost my parents, and now I’m going to loss my sister." Anger was now intense in her voice but it remained hush as she went on. "Don’t tell me you’re sorry, just tell me you’re going to stop testing on her, and you’re going to let us see her. You’re going to give her the treatment she needs immediately and then let her come home with us. We need to take care of her. She sure as hell isn’t dying here."
The doctor looked at her. He gave a gentle nod and said something to a nurse and then walked away.
Paige sat at a dirty crumb covered table in the hospital cafeteria. She had bought a bad cup of coffee and was now regretting it. She had been at college trying to forget her family for a little, but trying to forget made things get clearer. However, this was the third time she had come home in a year. She had barely talked to her sisters.
It was in these moments that she ached for home, but part of her refused to back. She had decided that she feared never finding happiness outside her family. She feared alone. And now, especially now, guilt wrenched in her heart, for she knew, that Phoebe would never have these problems, she would never be loved by anyone but family. She would never experience the joys of sex, or alcohol, or her first boyfriend, marriage, or children.
Paige was fretting about whether she would ever get the chance to have a man at the age of nineteen. And Phoebe was four and didn’t know that she would never have any of it.
"Hi Winnie."
Winnie was Grams’ nick name for her. When she was a child all she would allow people to read to her was Winnie-Ther-Pooh.
"Hi Grams."
They sat there quietly. Each of them fidgeting trying to figure out what to say.
"How are we going to do this, Grams?"
"I don’t know, I just---’’
"Penny Halliwell please report to the nurses’ station."
The two looked at each other and raced out of the cafeteria.

They raced down the hall.
"We-I-I-I was called down here," Penny stammered out of breath.
" O yes, just sign here Ms. Halliwell."
She signed.
"What’s . . ."
Just then she saw Piper being wheeled down the hall with Prue next to her.
"The doctor will be right down," a nurse told them.
They waited all nervous, all tired and all scared. Finally, they saw the doctor coming down the hall. They all held their breathe as they saw a little figure in his arms.
"The testing kind of wore her out. The hospital pharmacist will explain her meds. Take care."
He handed Penny the sleeping Phoebe. The color was starting to go from her face and there were little circles under her closed eyes. Grams felt herself cave in inside. She had been trying to prepare herself for this moment: The moment when she saw her dying grandchild. She looked at her girls. Paige and Piper were huddled around her trying to see Phoebe. Prue stayed away slightly.
"Um . . We-We don’t have her car seat. It was in my car. . . I should go buy one," Prue stuttered.
"Prudence," she called out but Prue was already down the hall. " There is one in my car. Paige um, can you take Piper and . .. Phoebe home? I’ll get Prue and Phoebe’s medication."
Grams realized she hadn’t said Phoebe’s name since this had happened. Paige nodded and took Phoebe out of her arms.
"We’ll see you at home in a few," Paige said as she and Piper walked down toward the elevator with Phoebe.
After getting Phoebe’s medication and a low down on when to use it and how, Grams finally made her way to the car. Prue stood there leaning against the hood.
" I found your car. I remembered you had a seat too, and I think Paige has one just in case in her trunk. When I . . um . . got to your car I remembered I don’t have my key." Tear began to flow down Prue cheeks. "And I don’t know where they are."
She straightened up and wiped her tears. She was refusing yet again not to cry. She gave her Grandmother a weak smile and took the bag out of her arms.
"We should head home."
" Yes, darling, we should."
Their ride back to the manor was silent just as Paige and Piper’s. Paige had a few duffels in the back of her jeep. Suddenly for no reason at all, tears began to flow down Paige’s cheeks. She kept her eyes straight on the road trying to avoid Piper’s gaze. She was letting her down. Her world with her strong as steel sisters, was crumbling. Everyone was losing it. Paige knew her sister would be lost more than ever. It was as her tears had freed her sister from innocence; she had been seen at a weakness. She----Paige caught her breath as she felt a hand set on top of hers. Piper gave her a soft squeeze.
She gave a weak smile. Her tear stained dimples showed. Piper smiled back at she let her fingers intertwine with Paige’s; she held her hand tight. It was for the first time that Paige had let down her guard.
" I love you, Pooh."
"I love you too, Winnie."
A few hours later the sisters sat on the couch. Phoebe was sleeping in her room upstairs. The room was silent. Piper was curled up next to Paige and Prue was flipping though the channels of the television. The stillness of the room gave a certain contrast to the unstillness in the attic.
"Patty, this is ridiculous! They can’t let this happen!"
"Mother, you and I know, as we have known, that there are only supposed to be three Charmed ones. We knew that. Destiny knew that."
"Why her? Why Phoebe?"
"I think you know."
"Of all ways, Patty, couldn’t destiny have been a little more sympathetic."
"I have to go. Send my love to my girls."
"Good night, Patty."
"Goodnight Mother."
"What are we doing?" a little voice said from the stairs.
The sisters looked up from the couch. There at the landing, her lion in hand, was Phoebe in her footy pajamas. She walked over to Prue and climbed onto her lap. Paige and Piper watched Prue’s uncomfortable look. Prue put on a little smile.
"Hey honey, I have to go out for a little while---’’
"Can I come?" she asked her big eyes looking into Prue’s.
"No sweetie," Prue replied.
She looked at her one last time and then covered her tears and headed toward the back door.
"Phoebe," Piper called trying to get her sister’s attention. "Let’s watch a movie okay?"
"Okay," phoebe replied a little disappointed and somewhat confused to see Paige there.
"Prue," Paige called out as she followed Prue into the kitchen.
"Go away, Paige," Prue said with her back to her as she sat at the breakfast table.
"Prue—’’
Prue stood up and headed toward the back door but Paige stood in her way.
"Get out of my way." Paige didn’t move. "Move, Paige!"
She remained where she was. She began hitting her to get out of the way. Paige instead held her close in a huge.
"Move! Let me go!" Sobs began to wrack her body.
Prue’s legs gave way as she sobbed. Curling up into a ball she continued to cry. Paige wrapped her arms around her, even though she protested, and began to rock her.
"You’re okay. We’ll be okay," Paige whispered into her ear.
Paige looked up and saw Piper standing in the door with Phoebe at her side. Piper had a look of loss on her face. It was then that she realized that she needed to let go of what she wanted back. She was older now.
Piper stayed in the doorway as Phoebe approached the sobbing women. It was then that Prue just noticed her other sisters standing there. Her face read her shame.
"It’s okay, Prue. You’ll be okay," Phoebe said quietly as she played with Prue’s hair.
Prue pulled Phoebe to her and held her close. She was no longer afraid to hold her sister. Now all she wanted to do was hold on to that moment for as long as she could.
"What’s wrong? Are you sick?" Phoebe’s words seemed to echo through the room.
It then occurred to them that no one had given her an explanation for what had been happening. The three elder girls looked at each other. What were they going to tell her?

Paige peaked around the corner at Phoebe, who now sat Indian style in the middle of the living room reading a book. She turned back to her sisters. Neither one of them had said anything since they sent Phoebe out of the room. Finally one of the them spoke up.
"I don’t think we should tell her," her voice was small, as if it were too afraid o say the words out loud.
"What? You’re kidding?"
"No, I’m not, Pip."
"Prue, we can’t leave in the dark," Piper’s voice remained hush but it still didn’t lack its sharpness. " She knows something is going on. She can see that we’re scared and most of all she can see we don’t know. Prue, we can’t leave her in the dark."
"I’m not saying we leave her the dark," Prue’s voice was small as if she was afraid of what she was about to say. "I’m just saying that. . ."
Paige saw how her sister was struggling. No one had been able to say it out loud.
"She doesn’t want to tell her that she’s not going to live to see 5," Paige finished.
Piper backed off slightly now seeing the hurt that had always been in Prue. Prue gave a Piper a slight smile somewhat to reassure her of the happy thought one things in their childhood. She did so to reassure the thoughts that keep one blinded by the world around them.

"Paige is right, but there are more reasons why we can’t tell Phoebe that. And we especially have to be careful when we tell her anything. She can’t know . . I mean think given up. If her she’s . .. .then she’ll think it, because we do. We can’t let her know that."
She stood in front of the window gazing out into the back yard. The Playskool jungle gym was set up in the backyard. When they had put it up last Christmas, Phoebe had made her promise to never take it down. She wondered now if it would later be more painful taking it down or more painful to see it every time they looked out the window.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt a slight pull of on her pant leg. She looked down to see a pair of big brown eyes looking back at her.
"What is it, sweetie?"
Phoebe didn’t say anything but looked down at her feet. Finally, soft somewhat shameful words fell from her lips.
"I threw up."
Prue gave a small smile trying her best to not looked disgusted as phoebe led her to her ruins.

Prue sat at he end of the bed watch her sister sleep. Her nausea had become more frequent. Her face could now barely hold color. Prue used to think she knew everything. How things would turn out . . .where the day took you. Now it seemed as if she knew nothing. She knew not of what was to come in a day, an hour, a minute.
She longed for that moment to be forever. The moment that things seemed okay. Everything was still and time seemed to stand still.
"Prue."
She turned toward the whisper at the door. There stood her sister. She came into the room quietly and sat next to her.
"She’s right. She knows not okay."
"How do you know?"
"Like she said it’s in her eyes."
She paused slightly and she stood up and went back into the hall. She followed.
"I can’t do this, Paige," Prue said when they were in the safety behind a closed bedroom door. "I can’t sit here and watch her die. I don’t think I’ll be able to live without her."
"I know," Paige replied her voice quiet. "This scares me. I don’t want to her go. A part of me wants to hold onto her little life forever, but I don’t know how much more I can watch her live through all this pain. I can’t let her go, but I want her to sometimes. I don’t know, Prue. I just don’t know."
Prue looked at her sister. For the first time in over a year of her sister’s absence. She felt it. The sense of sisterhood was returning. It was then she too realized she had the same difficulty. She wanted so bad to keep Paige to herself. She looked at her older sister. She no longer seemed like a sister, but an old friend who had grown up. Prue had to let go of Paige and Paige had to let go of Phoebe.
There was a small knock on their door interrupting their thoughts. Piper stood in the doorway. She saw that her sisters’ faces were exhausted. They were exhausted of the entire situation. A silver of all of them wanted Phoebe just to let go so they can move on. With each minimal thought of that, a strong never ending guilt set it.
"Phoebe’s awake."
As the words fell off of her lips, they all noticed a Phoebe in the doorway. She looked the worst they had ever seen her. It had gotten to the point where they had to carry her everywhere. Being that she was still a toddler it wasn’t a problem. Phoebe had managed to walk all the way across the hall. No doubt with a large amount of pain.
Phoebe slowly started making her way to the bed where her two eldest sisters were. Seeing her struggle was one of the hardest things to see. Not being able to take any more, Piper scooped Phoebe into her arms gently from behind and brought her over to the bed.
"Did you have a good nap?" Piper asked.
Piper was ‘dealing’ with the situation the best. She always put Phoebe before her fears. Paige watched at her sisters talked. She no longer saw the Piper she had left. As with many, it is when no one is looking that one grows up.
"Yeah," phoebe replied as she leaned her now only twenty-five pound body against Piper’s chest.
"Do you want to lay down again and watch a movie or read a book?" Piper asked as she rested her chin gently on her sister’s head.
Phoebe sat up subtly. She looked at all of her sisters.
"I’m going to go to sleep soon aren’t I?" she asked quietly. Her intelligence and outlook on things had always been more complex than any of the others.
"Well, yes, sweetie we all are. Probably some time after dinner. We---’’
"No, I mean I’m going to go to sleep and never wake up. . . .like Mommy." Phoebe’s words seemed to echo through the room.
Prue who had stood up. Now took Phoebe into her arms.
"Well, sweetie," she gave a gulp. "No. You are going to be fine. You are going to get older and be a complete pain in my butt. You are going to get your license and it’ll be absolutely horrifying. You are going to go off to college. Get arrested a few times, but it won’t be a real big deal. You will marry a beautiful man and have even more gorgeous children. And you are going to die in sleep at the age of 106. Pheebs you are going to be fine. Don’t worry, you will get through this. It’ll be a cinch compared to when you take the SATs."
Paige watched as her sister talked to the toddler. It was then that she knew that she was transferring to Berkley. It had always been an option. She had been accepted into the prestigious school, but was set on going to NYU. It was too far. She was home.
"Promise?"
"I promise Phoebe."
The four of them snuggled on the bed. Phoebe was in Prue’s arms and Piper in Paige’s. For the longest time, since either one of them could remember, this is when they felt safest. This was their haven. Everything was okay.
`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`
It was in position that they awoke and found that Phoebe was not breathing. She died later that day. It had been two years after she had been diagnosed. The little girl who was told she only had a few months to lived lived on for two and half years after she was diagnosed.
The day she had died was the most dreaded day, but it had taken two years for them to realize with the help of Phoebe, that is life if worth living. It was Phoebe’s passing that they were able to let her go. They were able to let a lot of things go. They were able to live there lives . . . .. as they were meant to be.
But no passing is easy. It was hard. It still is. The search for peace, however, was an easy one. It wasn’t a long journey as they all expected. It made them stronger. And it was this strength that helped form a strong trio of women: The mighty Charmed Ones.
`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~``~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~``~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~``~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~``~`~`~`~`~`~`~`
From the love seat she sat in, she had now had three pages of an essay. She looked down at the last paragraph she just finished.
"I cannot be able to describe to you how it feels as you watch the casket of someone you love be lowered into the ground. All I felt was fear. All one ever feels is fear. Phoebe’s birthday was last week, she would have been seven. It has been over a year and I can reply everything that happened the year she was diagnosed without trouble. However, as I write it on paper, I realize, that that year helped all of us. We lost more than Phoebe, we gained more, too."